So I just signed up to race cars on the Stockton 99 Speedway. It should be a lot of fun. I like going fast and getting to ride in a car with a professional race car driver while we zoom around the track will be fun. Heart throbbing, adrenaline pumping fun.
I’m hoping my driver is really cute. If I enjoy the experience, I might go back and do it again. And having a cute driver would greatly enhance the experience.
But going fast in a hot car, now THAT’S going to be impressive.
Which brings me to my next point.
Jeep is impressed I’m going racing. He used to race cars himself. And speedboats. And he even won awards. Is there anything this man hasn’t done? I just might have to break my no-sex-on-the-first-date rule and boink him.
UPDATE: My girlfriend Jenny replied, “That race car will give you a better orgasm then that man will.”
I attended my first MeetUp this Thursday night – a singles group meeting at Gordon Biersch in Palo Alto. It was a fun event. Since I work close by, I got there early for Happy Hour and I got to sit at the bar drinking a beer and eating my fish tacos with a bunch of old white guys sitting at the bar. If you’re looking for old white guys, Happy Hour at Gordon Biersch is the place to go.
People from my MeetUp group started arriving 45 minutes later and that’s when I met Scott – an older Turkish man. He kept talking about his 44 foot sailboat and asking me to be his skipper. No thank you.
“Really? Because we could have a party….”
“Not even going to ask what you mean by that.”
Then my date arrived. He wore a nice blue and white floral shirt and jeans with thick black hipster glasses. We quickly ran out of things to talk about. Then another girl walked in and THEY HIT IT OFF. They both lived in Boston. They both have 11 year old daughters. They like the same music.
It was like they were MFEO.
I excused myself to go to the bathroom. When I came out, Scott was waiting there for me.
“He’s all wrong for you. Take my card. You call me. We’ll go out.” He shoved his business card into my hand. “What are the chances you’ll call me?” he asked.
“Pretty slim. But I’ll think about it,” I replied and walked away.
I went back to my “date.” Surprisingly, he asked if we could leave and go get dinner. So we did. And it went a little better however at the end of the meal HE HAD ME PAY.
So I was a good sport and I payed. I even gave him a quick kiss goodnight.
One down, three to go.
Wouldn’t it be my luck to have 4 dates in 6 days and at the end of it all have no more dates to go on?
That’s okay. Better to be alone than with the wrong person.
As a woman, I can speak with authority about this topic. I’ve dated men who were clean shaven, ones with goatees, one’s with beards, and ones with full-on-mountain-man beards.
I find a goatee wildly appealing, even if it’s become trendy. There’s something about going in for a smooch and getting a little of the rough stuff on you that reminds me I’m kissing a sexy man.
And beards, when properly maintained, are even sexier. My last boyfriend had a full beard and I loved how my lips would tingle after kissing him. Lotsa hair to scratch at you and make you feel roughed up a bit.
VERY bad beard!
But please, for God’s sake gentlemen, do not experiment with your facial hair and do something crazy, like give yourself an amish beard or something equally ugly.
Ugly amish beard
Ugly old amish beard
So.. facial hair – bring it on or trim it off?
I say BRING IT ON! Then come over and kiss me
Did anyone say it better than Bret Michaels when he sang “Cause baby we’ll be at the drive-in, in the old man’s Ford. Behind the bushes until I’m screamin’ for more. Down the basement, lock the cellar door, and baby talk dirty to me.”
Arousal isn’t just about touch—according to experts. The sexy phrases you whisper, moan, or scream trigger a neurochemical reaction that gets your partner hotter for you than ever. So here are some of the best tips I found on the internet to get the dirty talk flowing in your bedroom… and out.
Start with sexy emails or texts. It’s easier to write something down than say it to someone’s face.
Suggest dirty talk in bed. Say something like “Tell me what you’d really like to do to me.”
Timing is key. Sometimes, it’s ultra-sexy to talk dirty somewhere public.
Don’t worry if it sounds cheesy. All dirty talk is cheesy!
Plagiarize. If you’re having phone sex, read sections from a naughty magazine or erotic book and pretend it’s your fantasy.
If your partner starts saying things you don’t like, tell them.
Want your partner to be more graphic? Drop in the odd “bad” word and see how your partner reacts. Some people like naughty words like “slut” and “eff” and others don’t. Do what you like.
Dirty talk is The Bomb. I love a little naughty repartee between me and my partner. Nothing gets to my libido faster than the hint of what’s to come and the promise of something naughty. I have a great imagination and appreciate all kinds of dirty talk.
I don’t have a daughter. What I do have is a house filled with testosterone, lizards, and toilet seats with sprinkle on top.
Some of the time, I am okay with my lack of a daughter. Like every time I see a little girl mysteriously burst into tears and wail “YELLOW!” That’s when I embrace the simplicity of my “cause-and-effect” little boys.
However, when I stumble upon THIS goodness on the internet, it’s hard to not long for a little blond mini-me:
I suspect if I showed this to my 12 year old son, he would slip it on and never take it off. But he also likes to wear my nightgowns and platform pumps.
In retrospect, buying a groupon for a boudoir photography session might not have been my brightest idea.
Exhibit A: The groupon may have only cost $59 but hair by Erin and makeup by Kimberly will run a cool $200. Well worth it, but note…
Exhibit B: What happens when a lingerie addict (think 8 drawers, not including costumes or the “naughty” outfits) gets an excuse to buy new lingerie? SHE BUYS NEW LINGERIE!
That’s right, I just bought 14 new outfits. I’m not even sure I’m wearing them all but I want to have some backups.
So here’s your chance to vote for what I wear at my lingerie fashion show… I mean boudoir photo shoot. Pick as many as you like. Scroll down for poll.
Men’s shirt outfit
Turquoise babydoll #1
Turquoise babydoll #2
Black lace teddy
Black vinyl triangle bikini
Scary black vinyl merrywidow
Black ruffle teddy
Melon lingerie set
Black leather corset and skirt
And add to the cost of this escapade, the cost of hosiery, jewelry, and shoes… because a girl has got to be properly accessorize when taking her clothes off. I’m talking thigh highs, fishnet stockings, pearls, jewels, and come-eff-me heels.
Ahhhh…. this “little” adventure is going to cost a mint! Hope I love the results!
If I get kissed on the cheek by another man, I’m going to hang up my ovaries and buy myself a pair of cement knickers.
Honestly…. what’s with all this kissing on the cheek? I’m beginning to feel like everyone’s little sister.
“Thanks for a great date…. here’s a nice peck on the cheek….”
“I know you want to make love but can I just give you a kiss on the cheek and call it a night?”
In the wonderful world of dating, this is what I know about kissing on the cheek:
1. It’s like the golf clap in golf – polite and dispassionate.
2. It’s like the limp handshake in business – signifying weak relations.
3. It’s like a courtesy laugh – a hallmark of an awkward moment
I know we’re living in the heyday of civil litigation, political correctness, and risk management, but at some point you’re going to need to take the plunge and test the waters. And trust me when I tell you that the waters are just waiting to be tested. Especially when they are 40 years old and a Scorpio.
Let’s face it, no one wants to discover after 4 or 5 dates that their date is a horrible kisser. And the last thing I want to discover is that my date is a fantastic kisser and I’ve wasted all this time when we should’ve been kissing all along.