It is larger than 3.4 oz.
Shocking, I know.
I get pulled aside to have my bag searched by a very serious, very sour faced TSA lady.
She starts reciting the rules as she’s searching through my bag with gloves and a metal wand.
“Do you know you can’t bring any aerosols or liquids larger than 3.4 oz in your carry on luggage?” she asks.
“Yes,” I nod.
I’m watching as she picks her way around my BLACK LACY THONG PANTIES… because when you OM, you never know when you’ll need a fresh pair. So I’ve taken to carrying an extra pair with me.
My TSA lady arches a brow at me but says nothing. Disapproval is emanating from every cell of her body.
But beyond the underwear, I spot A JAR OF ONE STROKE LUBE – the lube of choice for OMers.
I flush from my head to my freshly manicured toes.
Is she going to ask? Is she going to open the jar? Will it be confiscated?
Please don’t let it be confiscated!
I start panicking when I think about losing my jar of lube.
She finds the offending can of hairspray and removes it. I indicate she can just throw it away.
As I walk away I feel slightly buoyant and giddy…
….thinking all that was missing was a dildo in my bag and a “Powered by Orgasm” t-shirt on me.
I would have liked to have seen the look on her face then.