OMG

So I was going along blissfully planning my Burning Man trip, fantasizing about being on the playa when it hit me.

Grey water.

Every ounce of water I use has to be collected and carted out of there.  Every ounce.

And that’s when I experienced a profound sense of being overwhelmed.

Here I am, heading to one of  the more hostile environments known to man.  Heading in to a climate which can kill you in less than a day and all I will have to survive is what I bring with me.

And while wigs and costumes are nice, they are no substitute for well-organized planning and research.

So I’m starting with reading all the BurningMan.org survival guides.  Very helpful tips in those articles.

And I’m picking the brains of my friends who are Burners – Richard, Jon, Cathy, Ben, and Chris.

I’ve already started a “packing list” organized by category… a list for what I’ll need for my truck.  A list for what I’ll need for my bike,  a list for toiletries (which is surprisingly long), a list for what I’ll need for camp, and so on.

Making up those lists only added to my feeling of being overwhelmed.

But I am determined to go.  And I have months to plan.

And I’m not going to let a little grey water stop me from this adventure.

P.S.  Anyone know if THIS is the way to go for evaporating grey water?

Hair

My Burning Man friends who read this blog will probably get a good laugh out of this post, but here goes…

I bought four cheap wigs to have hair options when my own hair gets frighteningly dirty at Burning Man.

First up, we have the platinum blonde wig, a.k.a. proof that I should never go bleach blonde. Not a great look for me.

Second, we have the redhead. Oh how flirty I feel in red. This may be a keeper…

Then we have my favorite – the Green (Absinthe) Faerie wig. Minor malfunction with the bangs, but I REALLY like.

And finally, we have the raven wig. It’s meant to be worn with my black PVC outfit [hey, it’s a fetish of mine, okay? No making fun.]. And yes, love the straight bangs and long straight hair.

So there you have it…. Me modeling all four wigs. I will likely only ever wear them at night at Burning Man because it’s too damn hot. But won’t it be fun?

 

 

 

Divergent

I am going to Burning Man all by myself.

  • I have no one to help me set up or break down damp.
  • No one to wander through BRC with.
  • No one to be my buddy at night and make sure I get home safely.

I could fall off the globe and no one would notice for a week.

As a single woman, this is a little scary for me.

I feel like the fractionless in Divergent – I don’t fit in anywhere so I’m on the fringes of the BRC community.

I have two goals between now and August 30th:

  1. Join a theme camp
  2. Buy a vehicle pass

As they say, where there’s a will, there’s a way.

And so I’m putting it out there in the universe, to see what comes back to me.

Because I’d really like to drive my truck and tent trailer onto the playa. And I’d really like to be part of a community at Burning Man.

Pretty please?

There’s no such thing as sex on the playa*

There is no sex on the playa*

Obviously, I’m kidding. But according to my friend Richard, the heat and dust aren’t very conducive to putting people in the mood.

Of course Richard and I both know that some people are ALWAYS in the mood.

So there’s sex on the playa for sure.

Maybe it’s “I-haven’t-showered-in-four-days” sex – where you do enough to get the job done but there’s no bells and whistles.

No matter, anyway. The slightest motion in my tent trailer sends it rocking and swaying and moving to the groove…

Richard also told me about a little place called the Human Carcass Wash (next to the Testicular Torture camp), which as far as I can tell is some sort of assembly line body wash with a group of poly people holding squirt bottles. Excellent idea in the desert, if you ask me. I’ll be begging for a body wash, or squirt, after 3 days, maybe sooner depending on how sticky the dust is.

And you know I love showering when I’m not alone.

It won’t be the cascade waterfall shower in my sister’s house in Reno, but I’ll save that as my special treat post-Burning Man.

I’m wondering what my 24 inch long blond hair will look like after a week in Black Rock City. Maybe I’ll have dreads when all is said and done.

Honestly, I’m trying to figure out a way to wash my own hair just once while I’m at Burning Man. My tent trailer holds at least 20 gallons of water so surely I can use a gallon or two on my hair (and then evaporate the grey water).

Of course, all this hinges on me being able to actually DRIVE my tent trailer onto the playa. Since I don’t have a vehicle pass yet, the details are SKETCHY.

So there you have it…. Unlikely to have sex but likely to take a group shower at the Human Carcass Wash.

That’s me.

 

*Kidding!

My Paint Adventure

If you know anything about my family, you know that my birthmother is a PHENOMENAL artist. Truly extraordinary. No matter what the media, she excels in it – be it painting a mural for a church play or sketching an image in pen and pencil.

If you know anything about me, you know that I DID NOT INHERIT MY BIRTHMOM’S SPECIAL TALENT.

Oh, I’m passably good at three dimensional stuff – quilting, sculpture, and makeup. But that’s nothing compared to the true artist that my birthmom is.

I challenged myself to take a paint class with a coworker at one of those wine and paint parties. I wanted to push past my self-imposed limitations and see what I could do.

Here are all our blank canvases. We had a full house of almost 40 people!

Here is my “paint palette” – basically a paper plate with tempera paint on it (basically the same kind they use in preschools all across the country).

I know. Don’t get me started. I was quite disappointed that we weren’t using REAL paint, but in the end the result was still impressive.

Here’s a bit of the progression of my painting.

 

And here’s the finished product

And finally, a shot of my biggest concern during the whole painting experience… accidentally dropping my paintbrush in my beer.

Now that would be tragic.

There’s no such thing as underwear in BRC

There’s no such thing as underwear in BRC.

At least, I’m assuming this, given the fact that pretty much every outfit I’ve seen that even remotely qualifies as clothing is tight, has a slit up the side, or is so short the world could be your gynecologist.

And it’s hot there in the Nevada desert. Who wants an extra layer of clothing?

I, for one, want to wear a pair. Just to keep the moisture where it belongs, you know.

My prediction, for myself, is that I will start out the week in my lovely Green Faerie costume, but that as the week goes by I will become more and more casual [read: more and more undressed].

It takes me a while to get accustomed to new surroundings. I’m guessing my modesty will last halfway into day 2 or whenever I get so frigging hot that clothes become a nuisance. Whichever come first.

And so, in order to accommodate my increasing nakedness and decreasing modesty, I am bringing a bathing suit with me. Just ‘cuz I might need to walk around in it.

And also, some funny hot pants, because I still have a great ass that deserves to be shown off in some smart assy way.

There may be no such thing as underwear in BRC but I’m not prepared to go Full Monty on the playa.

She’s crafty!

I know this is very exciting for all of you.

I can scarce contain myself as well.

You see, this weekend I took a class on how to crochet.

Now I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that it’s not like me at all to do something quite so domestic.

Well, I’ll have you know I have quite the domestic side to me – I like to cook (when I have time), and quilt (when I have money), and knit (when I have a boyfriend).

I guess a little explaining is in order… the only thing I know how to knit is the Boyfriend Hat by Stephanie Likes to Knit. Therefore I knit when I have a boyfriend to make a hat for. So far, I’ve only made two.

‘Nuff said.

Here is the lovely yarn shop in Santa Cruz where I learned to crochet.

Here is the lovely shop pooch who kept me company while I struggled with my piece.

And here is my GODAWFUL piece, dropped stitches and all.

Try not to get too excited.

It’s not like I’m planning on quitting my day job just yet and becoming a professional crochet artist.

Though I can imagine that given a little practice I could make a pretty cool kerchief top for Burning Man.

I know! I just can’t get through a post without mentioning Burning Man.

Can you believe me?!

Don’t worry, a post on my tour of the San Francisco Armory is coming up soon.

Check out my WHEELS

Squeal!

I discovered it’s actually very cheap to pimp out your bike.  And I cant wait for my bling to arrive so I can horrify my children with my “playa bicycle.”  They already think it’s weird that I’m going to Burning Man.  As my oldest son put it, “It’s not like you’re in your 20s or anything…” As if living a week off the grid in an artists community and letting your freak flag fly is something that only 20 year olds should get to do.

I might not be the youngest in the crowd but I won’t be the oldest either.

I will be pretty stylin’ though on this bike…

Here are LED lights that wrap around my bike frame, in green since I’m the Green Faerie.  Can’t wait to play with this and decorate my bike!

And these LED  valve caps which are SUPER COOL!

And I discovered that I can’t wear THIS on the playa because it’s made of sequins and sequins are MOOP (Matter Out Of Place) and since the goal is to leave no trace, I’ve got to ditch the outfit.  Sad face.

So there you have it… plus one playa bicycle.  Minus one green sequin romper.

Still having fun with it!

Oh YES I did!!!

I don’t know what came over me.

One minute I was easting a poppy seed bagel and working on logos, and the next I was hitting BUY.

I did buy this extraordinary holographic cut away jumpsuit in “Cosmos” – basically every color of the rainbow, in a cosmos-type pattern.

Oh my God!  You’re going to see me coming AND going!

I LOVE IT!

Plus on the Playa

So I’m having a little trouble finding an accurate representation of me on the playa at Burning Man.

All the pictures I see are of petite women wearing nearly nothing. Very beautiful ladies, indeed.

But where are the goddesses? Where are the Amazons? Where are my curvy ladies?

I’m guessing that with 60,000 people descending on the playa, there’s got to be some body diversity among the women. But you wouldn’t know it to look at the pictures.

It’s a little troublesome as I try to organize my wardrobe for the event. I have no one to model my outfits after.

Can I wear a bikini on the playa? Will I be the only curvy lady wearing one? Will there be body hate on the playa like there is in real life?

Am I obsessing over this a little too much?

Probably.

I know what you’re all thinking…. Just wear what I want to wear.

And in theory I agree with you.

But I’d feel soooo much better if I could just take a peek as the diversity of styles on the playa, including women with ample boobs and butts.

Just saying.

There’s not much representation of Plus on the Playa.