Big and bald

baldApparently, I have a thing for big, bald men.

Lately all the men I meet seem to have two things in common:

  • They’re tall
  • They’re bald

Now, there’s nothing wrong with either. Obviously I have a thing for both (hello Bruce Willis, Billy Zane, and Patrick Stewart).

But I’ve noticed that a lot of these men post pictures of themselves online with lots of hats on.

In one picture, Mr. Britain is wearing a top hat. In another he’s wearing a beanie. And in yet another, a bowler.

It takes a good three or four pictures before I realize he’s bald.

And that’s more than okay with me.

I love palming a nice, smooth head while I’m kissing someone.

And those trim little spiky hairs feel so good against my skin if they rub their head against my… ahem… body.

But the hats?

Why so many hats?

I suppose bald men like to cover up their cranium to protect their heads from the elements. Without the protection of hair there, sunburns and windburn can happen so easily.

Don’t get me wrong, I like hats.

If I fall in love with you it’s a guarantee that at some point I will knit you a ribbed wool beanie for your noggin.

I only have one prejudice against hats.

Flat brimmed baseball caps.

It’s unnatural for a 40 something year old man to wear a flat brimmed baseball cap.

It just looks out of place.

Flat brimmed caps are for my 14 and 16 year old sons. Not people who are old enough to have voted for Reagan.

So by all means, shave your head. I like bald. Wear a hat even. But watch out for those flat brimmed ball caps.

Nothing kills my lady boner faster.

Things that impress me on a date

michelleI’m making changes to my love life. For one, I am only supposed to go out with educated, available, faithful men. That’s my new mantra for the men I date.

That being said, here is what I look for in a good date. I think I can safely say that these criteria are a good ruler for measuring whether a man has potential with me or not.

  • Opening the door for me – it’s very gentlemanly and I appreciate it.
  • Eye contact – always a good sign when he wants to look at you.
  • Buying a bottle of wine to share – shows optimism that the date will go well.
  • Good kisses – who doesn’t love good kisses? I like it when they’re so good I get distracted from the conversation and just want to kiss.
  • Touching me – it’s nice when he reaches across the table and touches your hand or strokes your knee as he’s talking.
  • Honest conversation – I like to keep it real. Connect.
  • Knowing how to dance – this is a very sexy trait. I love a man who likes to dance.
  • Holding my hand – so romantic. Very nice to have your hand held in public.
  • Asking me personal questions – it shows an interest in me.
  • Hugging me – any excuse to get a hug. It’s nice to be enveloped.
  • Refraining from groping me – just a respect thing. I like to have it cleared with me if you’re going to grope me. Just to be sure I’m down with that.
  • Keeping his eyes at eye level – because nothing is worse than having a man stare at your cleavage all night instead of looking at you.
  • Making me laugh – nothing sexier.
  • Asking me on another date – shows he’s interested in me when he wants to arrange the next date before this one has concluded.
  • Being polite to the wait staff – HUGE one for me!

Have I missed anything? What do you look for on a date that lets you know it’s going to be good? Email me at or comment below.

Belly dancing – 1, Michelle – 0

red bellyI took a belly dancing lesson from a Stanford Medical student.

I’m not kidding…. Alma is a phenomenal professional belly dancer AND a medical student at Stanford AT THE SAME TIME.

I know. It blows the mind.

In any case, she warmed us up by having us roll all over the wall, arms moving up and down, caressing the wall.

Then we got down to business.

Apparently, belly dancing is accomplished through amazing glute work.

We sat on the floor and practiced isolating and clenching our glute muscles – first the left, then the right, then both together.

I confess, even though I have an ample size derriere, I had a difficult time isolating my two glute muscles.

They both wanted to clench at the same time.

I became frustrated. I thought this was about shaking my hips. I can do that. What’s the big deal with all these butt muscles?

In the end, I felt like I needed A LOT more practice and just in general a lot more dancing experience.

I want to be graceful and poetic, not jerky and disjointed.

As it stands, you are unlikely to see me in a belly dancing outfit, dancing my ass off for anyone other than a significant other. I’m just not skilled enough at this time.

So the score was Belly dancing – 1, Michelle – 0.

IMG_8138 IMG_8139


Well Kissed

My date with The Israeli went quite well.

We stayed out until midnight drinking a bottle of wine at the wine bar before moving on to Carry Nations for beer (me) and whiskey (him).

My date was lively, intelligent, and funny.

He was also very flattering and told me if he didn’t know better, he’d think I was no older than 35.


Love him.

I love that he’s a world traveler. I love that he was in the military. I love that he has a PhD. I love his smile and his funny accent.

But most of all I love kissing him.

We were standing face to face, comparing my height to his when he locked onto my lips and started kissing me.

It was so lovely to be kissed and kissed well. I lost myself in that kiss and melted like butter into his body. My head angled to the side and I moaned as I kissed him. Little aching moans.

There was definitely some chemistry there.

For the rest of the night he had a hard time keeping his hands and his lips off me. He kissed me at the bar. At the table. Walking to my truck. He even grabbed my hands with his as we were talking in the wine bar.

And before I left for the night, he arranged for our second date. Looks like we’re going out Friday. Dancing.

I got a message from him before he went to bed that night:


So there you have it… the first day I’m off dating restriction and I have a GREAT date with a WONDERFUL man who thinks I’m a GREAT kisser!

Songs to Get Down To

THIS is a very UN-THANKSIVING DAY post.  It has no turkey in it.  It does however have some very juicy breasts.  Enjoy!

rock songs

Be forewarned.  There’s barely a hint of R&B and rap in this list.  I’m a rock girl.  So this is what you get:

  1. Closer – Nine Inch Nails (the quintessential sex song)
  2. Queer – Garbage
  3. Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger – Daft Punk
  4. Wicked Game – Chris Isaak (slow it down a little bit)
  5. Wonderful Tonight – Eric Clapton (for making love)
  6. S&M – Rihanna (for your kinkier side)
  7. Climax – Usher
  8. Darling Nikki – The Foo Fighters
  9. My Michelle – Guns ‘n’ Roses (perfect for ME!)
  10. Glory Box – Portishead (pretty much anything by Portishead is HOT)
  11. Nude – Radiohead
  12. Dragula – Rob Zombie (yes, Rob Zombie makes the list)
  13. Whole Lotta Love – Led Zeppelin
  14. Fade Into You – Mazzy Star
  15. Blood Bank – Bon Iver
  16. Debauchery – David Gray
  17. Take Me to Church – Hozier
  18. Orgasmatron – Motörhead (gotta get a little metal in there)
  19. This Magic Moment – Lou Reed (oh, how sexy!)
  20. Pony – Genuwine
  21. Sex on Fire – Kings of Leon
  22. Earned It – The Weekend
  23. All of Me – John Legend
  24. Booty – Iggy Azalea
  25. This is Hardcore – Pulp
  26. Mr. Loverman – Shabba Ranks
  27. NO.SLEEP Mix 1 – Odesza (a touch of EDM)
  28. Club Life Podcast 331 – Tiesto (continuing with the EDM theme)
  29. Adrenalize – In This Moment (a little more metal, this time with a female lead singer)
  30. Sex Type Thing – Stone Temple Pilots
  31. Uptown Funk – Pomplamoose (GREAT cover!)
  32. Say My Name (feat. Zyra) – Odesza
  33. Sirens – Pearl Jam (you know Pearl Jam had to make the list)
  34. Fire Woman – The Cult
  35. Red Riding Hood – The Elysian Fields (love the sultry, dark, mysterious inflections)
  36. Hustler – Simian Mobile Disco
  37. Personal Jesus (remastered version) – Depeche Mode (love the low low vocals)
  38. Hysteria – Muse
  39. Feeling Good – Nina Simone (gotta get a crooner in and Nina Simone is the best)
  40. Why Don’t We Do It In The Road – Lowell Fuslon (a great cover of a great song)

Okay, maybe you can make love to Wicked Game and Wonderful Tonight… but the others are pure songs to fuck to.  Care to share your favorites?  Email me at or post in the comments below.

Magic always comes with a prince

Disney loveMagic always comes with a prince

At least that’s what Disney and Hollywood lead you to believe.

Of course lately, there’s been less focus on the prince and more focus on the heroine, but you get the picture – love, above all, makes the story.

And how are we single ladies supposed to feel about this in real life?

Well, I’ll tell you, being single has never hurt my social life. In fact, I think I get out more and do more things simply because I don’t have a partner to hang out at home with eating pizza and drinking beer with on a Saturday night.

Being single didn’t hurt me when I was racing cars at the Stockton 99.


Being single especially didn’t hurt me when I was leaping from an airplane with a hot man and a parachute strapped to my back.

And it certainly didn’t hurt me when I went to the Alameda County Fairgrounds and ran with the bulls.

photo 4No, being single hasn’t hurt one bit.

Even my more carnal urges somehow manage to get taken care of.

So what then is my life missing without a man to “complete” me?

The answer is nothing.

I have friends and family who give me love and camaraderie and lovers who give me intimacy.

Everything else is icing on the cake.

Sure, it’s magical when life and love come with a prince.

But it sure as hell isn’t required.

Magic, is what you make of it.

Time to Celebrate

michelleTime to celebrate

I’m off dating restriction!!!

This means I can go out when I want with whomever I want.

And I’ve got four men who I like.

First, there’s The Fireman. Gotta love a man in uniform, especially a fireman. He’s tall, bald, and ever so good looking.

Next there’s The Israeli. He is (of course) Israeli. He took one look at my pictures and profile and asked me out on the spot. I love a spontaneous man. We’re going out tonight.

And then there’s The Vegetarian – a super sexy bald guy from the East Bay. He’s willing to come to me for a date so we will hopefully go out soon. Yes, he’s a vegetarian but I have no problem with that.  I’ve lived with it all my life.

And then there’s still The Hunk who has been busy moving but should be available this weekend for some fun. He’s a man of few words but A LOT OF ACTION. And did I mention that he’s grown a goatee?! Well, he has and it fills me with much titillation.


So there you have it. Four men to get to know and keep me occupied through the holidays.

One thing I’ve noticed about dating in your 30s vs dating in your 40s…. there’s a lot less hair. LOL

So many sexy bald men.


Friends in low places

IMG_8326So I did something rather amazing and bought two tickets for my son and my ex husband to go see Garth Brooks play at the SAP Center in San Jose, CA.

It’s all part of my new resolution to treat my ex husband like a friend instead of an enemy.

Well, I come to find out that my ex has ALREADY bought tickets for him and his girlfriend to see Garth the night before.

So I gave the two tickets to my son and told him I would chauffeur him and whatever friend he wanted to take.

Well, he decided to take ME!

That’s right, my 16 year old, I’m-too-cool-for-everything-especially-my-mom, teenage son decided to take me.

About three or four songs into the performance, my son turned to me and said, “Thanks for the tickets, mom. This is a great concert.”

“Is this your first concert?” I asked

The answer was yes.

IMG_8339So I got to take my 16 year old son to his first concert ever and hang out with him for the better part of four hours, just the two of us.

And it was AMAZING.

Sometimes you don’t know what you’re missing until it falls right into your lap.

So thank you Garth, for giving me the excuse/opportunity to hang out with my amazing teenage son and reconnect.

Thanks to my ex husband who passed on the tickets.

And thanks to my son, for being the incredible young man who he is and for choosing to go with me to the concert.

I love you bug!


Dear you… Love, Me

MichelleI was sick this past weekend with an unpleasant cold and I spent my days in bed watching movies. I rather unwisely chose to watch movies from the ROMANCE genre which had the lovely effect on me of making me sad, lonely, and horny.

I DO NOT recommend watching romance flicks when you’re single. They will only serve to make you feel like an American version of Bridget Jones without the lovely British accent and Mark Darcy waiting in the wings.

Instead of composing blog posts (like I should have been doing), I composed letters in my head to “The One Who Got Away” and “The Man I Can’t Forget.

Romantic letters.

Letters telling him how much I miss him and how I think of him every day.

How my boys still talk about him and ask how he’s doing.

Some boyfriends fade into the background once the relationship is over. Dave, is a perfect example of that. It becomes harder and harder to recall a single memory of the two of us together.

But others, oh other boyfriends take on a life of their own and become your fantasy when you are turned on. The person you compose letters to in your head when you are lonely. And the one whose name pinches your heart a little when you hear it.

Now during the holiday season, the memories are especially strong.

We both LOVED Christmas and had a spectacular time shopping and exploring the Bay Area during the holidays.

We once saw a whole army of Santa Clauses on a beach in Santa Cruz.

j-m1We had drinks at the Ritz-Carlton with his parents and took pictures in front of their ginormous Christmas tree while the bagpipes played in the distance.

I inundated him with gifts, particularly a handmade quilt with a special theme for him.

The letters I write always start out the same.

“Dear you…”

and they end with “Love, me.”