Apparently, I have a thing for big, bald men.
Lately all the men I meet seem to have two things in common:
- They’re tall
- They’re bald
Now, there’s nothing wrong with either. Obviously I have a thing for both (hello Bruce Willis, Billy Zane, and Patrick Stewart).
But I’ve noticed that a lot of these men post pictures of themselves online with lots of hats on.
In one picture, Mr. Britain is wearing a top hat. In another he’s wearing a beanie. And in yet another, a bowler.
It takes a good three or four pictures before I realize he’s bald.
And that’s more than okay with me.
I love palming a nice, smooth head while I’m kissing someone.
And those trim little spiky hairs feel so good against my skin if they rub their head against my… ahem… body.
But the hats?
Why so many hats?
I suppose bald men like to cover up their cranium to protect their heads from the elements. Without the protection of hair there, sunburns and windburn can happen so easily.
Don’t get me wrong, I like hats.
If I fall in love with you it’s a guarantee that at some point I will knit you a ribbed wool beanie for your noggin.
I only have one prejudice against hats.
Flat brimmed baseball caps.
It’s unnatural for a 40 something year old man to wear a flat brimmed baseball cap.
It just looks out of place.
Flat brimmed caps are for my 14 and 16 year old sons. Not people who are old enough to have voted for Reagan.
So by all means, shave your head. I like bald. Wear a hat even. But watch out for those flat brimmed ball caps.
Nothing kills my lady boner faster.