Grand Reunion vs Tinder

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It’s my 25th college reunion this year and I’m being heavily recruited to join the Leadership Team.

Plenty of opportunities to volunteer, my friends.

Not as many opportunities to get paid for your side hustle.

I’m trying very hard to avoid volunteering for YET ANOTHER cause.

But it’s proving to be challenging because I am dating a fellow grad who graduated 10 years ahead of me in 1985.

So he’s celebrating his 35th reunion.

My association with my college is not as strong as some people.

I was a transfer student who lived at home while I was in college.

I mean, I know a few people but I keep in touch with the ones I want to through Facebook already.

I don’t need a reunion in order to connect with them again.

What WOULD be helpful is networking.

But since I love my job and the company I work for, that’s less important in terms of my job mobility and more important in terms of meeting single men.

Yes, I said it.

The ONLY reason I’ll go to reunion is to meet men.

Even though my dance card is really full right now, there’s no one special person taking up my time and I’m still open to the possibility of finding someone.

And it would be a hell of a lot nicer to tell people we met at Grand Reunion rather than Tinder, no?

Blow Me Down

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I love THIS German Shepherd quilt:

This made me giggle – Rock, paper, scissors. from r/funny

A very unusual buttplug

I want THIS top (and THOSE boobs):

 

This made me laugh my ass off!  What a cutie!

The PERFECT nude lip . . .

 

A brilliant and haunting performance:

 

El Pulpo and Skibidi:

 

God, don’t you love Oreos?

 

“Vanity is only a sin because a woman who believes she deserves good things is harder to commodify.” Glori B.

Happy VD!

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I had a WONDERFUL Valentine’s Day!

First of all I drove my mom to the airport so I had an early start to my Friday which meant when my office closed early for the holiday weekend, I got to start my weekend EVEN EARLIER!

Woot!

Many people sent me text messages wishing me a Happy Valentine’s Day.

I mean, how can you be SOUR when your friends and family pepper you with love?!

Then I took an uber to Campbell and I had a lovely dinner with Nadine before we commenced drinking and socializing with our friends for the Onesie Pub Crawl.

We hopped around from bar to bar and at each location, I drank a gin and tonic or two.

Round about 11 pm everyone headed to my least favorite spot In downtown Campbell so I called it a night and proceeded to head home.

Where I spent the next fee hours swiping right and left on Tinder.

Ah ha ha!

All in all, it truly was a lovely day and an even better evening.

I really had a blast watching people’s faces LIGHT UP when they spotted us in our crowd of onesies.

But the BEST part of the evening had to be when a firetruck filled with handsome firemen drove by me on the street and I caught the fireman on the rig smiling reflexively when they saw us.

Happy Valentine’s Day indeed!

Putting the ‘sin’ in single

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First of all I must say I’m not really sinning, I’m just saying that I am because it sounds good but my mom will FREAK OUT and worry about me if I don’t put this disclaimer up, so I am.

It’s not sinful to date.

Oh sure, maybe the way SOME people do it, but overall I’m a nice girl just looking for a steady man to hang out with.

I’ve re-dedicated myself to finding a partner and as such, am spending a lot of time in the evenings texting strangers and hoping for the best.

I’ve messaged MANY men and been taken out on SEVERAL dates, all of which still have promise.

The other night I had a great date which included a dozen oysters on the half-shell, a bottle of red wine and a tasty Bywater Sazerac.

I’m rediscovering the joys of the older man.

We’re talking 60 years old or older.

By and large, I’ve found them to be perfect gentlemen – the kind who open doors, carry on a good conversation and walk me to my car when the date ends.

There’s a lot to be said for older men.

For one, their kids are older so I don’t have to schedule activities around gymnastics practices, soccer matches, and school fundraisers.

They’re also pretty stable, getting close to retirement and fairly financially savvy.

I could learn a thing or two from them about financial stability and budgeting.

Yes, I like men who are my age.

There’s something really exciting about a man who is hitting his stride personally and professionally.

But there’s also something to be said for the man who has been there, done that, and wrote a book on the subject.

Older men are knowledgeable, and I find that fascinating.

So much to learn from them, it makes my head spin.

Call me crazy. . .

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A few years back, when I was dating a guy named Steve, I made a brilliant decision to take all 6’4″ of him on a cave crawl camping weekend.

I’d never done  a cave crawl.  I didn’t know what one was like.  It just sounded different and cool.  And it was organized by one of the groups I went on adventures with.  So I signed up.

The cave crawl begins with the leader trying to break you until you crack.  They want to weed out the people who can’t handle it while you’re still close to the surface and can exit quickly.

I watched as our leader disappeared down a hole in the ground.  We all followed blindly.  There was a backup in the crack.  We were all pinned in place waiting for the person in front of us to move.

Heavy breathing, but I emerged.

They’re not kidding when they call it a crawl.  I spent more time on my belly slithering through cracks in the ground than standing upright.  The few times I did walk, the mud was so thick it almost ripped my boots off my feet (we called it sole-sucking mud).

I slithered down  a 6 foot long hole too small to fit a regulation basketball down.  I emerged in the “Womb Room” – a tiny domed room about 1o feet across and 4 feet high.  A giant man followed me down the hole.  My date refused.  The woman in the room with me started to panic.  She left right away.  Then the big guy.  Only he got stuck trying to exit the hole long enough for me to panic.  Finally, I emerged and swore “NEVER AGAIN!”

I can’t lie and say it was all bad though.  Three things stuck me as being fun the and I still think about them now –

  1. Rafting across an underground lake, beautiful and still in the darkness.
  2. Sticking my head into a small cave covered in white crystals like the night sky.
  3. Taking a bath in a trough after the crawl in order to clean up. (You know I like alternative bathing practices)

If you must know, I REALLY hope I never do another cave crawl ever again.  I have no urge to repeat the experience and spend three hours fighting panic attacks waist deep  in mud while hitting my hardhat on low hanging rocks.

Call me crazy.

SuperBowl

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The first thing you must know about the SuperBowl is that most of my family are dedicated Forty Niners fans.

Especially my cousin Jennifer.

She has supported them and cheered for them for as long as I’ve known her.

I affectionately refer to them as “Jennifer’s boys.”

So you can imagine when they were in the SuperBowl, there was only one place I was going to be for the game.

Next to Jennifer.

Of course, as we all know, the Niners didn’t win.

I woke up in the middle of the night so sad that they lost.

But cheers to the Chiefs, they played a good game, even if there were a few sketchy calls.

Here we all are, ready for the SuperBowl:

I am a unique sports fan.

I usually get up and go to the bathroom at key moments in the game because I’m so nervous.

The more tension, the more likely it is you will find me in the bathroom.

Baseball KILLS me.

But for the SuperBowl?

I never left my seat.

Not even when the tides turned and the Niners started to lose.

Why, you ask?

Because I kept hoping for a win.

I really wanted to see a 49er SuperBowl win.

Maybe next year.

Mermaid Hair, don’t care

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I’ve been looking into hair extensions for Burning Man.

Reason #1:  I like really colorful things – just look at all the rainbows in my Burning Man closet!

Reason #2:  I like brightly colored hair.  It just looks awesome and edgy AF.

Reason #3:  I work in a place which would look down on me dyeing my hair pink or blue.  I mean they put up with my nose piercing but I’m not sure they’d survive my orange hair!

Since I know so little about hair extensions, I’m going to play around with some cheap ones until I figure out what I like and what works.

But just to inspire you, here are some INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL women with mermaid hair:

mermaid-hair1 mermaid-hair2
mermaid-hair3 mermaid-hair4

So I bought two kinds of hair extensions – a pretty lavender hair extension:

extensions-lavender

And a few brightly colored pieces:

extensions-colored

As far as the multicolored stands go, I’d like to combine the peach, lavender and salmon for a rosy look and the fuchsia, dark blue, and purple for a more “galactic look” (can anyone see me in my Galactic Pussy hat with this hair?):

galaxy-hair1

Yeah, galaxy hair is AWESOME!

Now, I just need to work on LIGHTING UP MY HAIR and then you can color me satisfied!

FYI, here is my Galactic Pussy hat:

galactic-pussy-hat

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My spirit animal may be a koala

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2019 was a tame year for me.

Granted, I went to Burning Man.

But the closest I got to real adventure was swapping sexy photos with an Australian guy who is cycling the globe.

Now THAT’S adventure.

Nights under the stars.

Days filled with sunshine and exercise.

I’ll bet he can eat 10,000 calories a day and not gain weight because of all the exercise he is getting.

He reminds me of another Aussie friend, Charlie.

Charlie used to get blindfolded and taken into the Australian Outback where he’d be left with a thermos of water and some energy bars and he had to find his way back to civilization.

He once went on a retreat by himself to the Outback where he could do nothing, not listen to music, not read a book.

He spent his time thinking, which to me seems like torture, but to him was a welcome change.

Out of all the men I’ve dated, I find it interesting that the most  adventurous men I’ve met are all Australian.

It’s just further proof that I need to get my ass on a plane to Australia and enjoy a little time down under, watching the toilets swirl the other direction.

All this is just to say that Australia is calling my name and I’ve received her message loud and clear.

My spirit animal may just be a koala.