Swedish boots

Now that I’m going to Sweden, I find myself in an unusual predicament.

I need to buy ANOTHER pair of black boots.

But not platform playa boots this time.

No.

I need to get warm, winter boots that will keep my feet toasty in the frigid Swedish weather.

Hmmmmm.

What a shame.

I have to shop for shoes.

Again.

Again.

So I found a few options.

 

All of which I like and which also look fuzzy and warm.

My final selection?

THIS ONE!

I imagine it’ll look nice with my new black faux fur puffy jacket.

I HOPE they’ll keep me warm.

Because a cold Michelle is a cranky Michelle.

Then again, warming me up could be kinda fun. . .

Walking in a winter wonderland

You will not BELIEVE what I’ve done.

I BOUGHT A PLANE TICKET TO SWEDEN!

Yup!

You heard right!

I’m going to Sweden to visit The Swede.

Well, to visit ALL THE SWEDES, I guess!

I’m so excited I could just spit.

My trip isn’t months away.

Oh no!

I’m going to Sweden December 28th!

Basically I’m on vacation for two weeks over the holidays so I figured why not visit The Swede who is ALSO ON VACATION?

Now.

It’s occurred to me that Sweden in December MIGHT be less than ideal.

Especially for a born and bred California girl.

It will be a shock to my system, I am sure.

Not just the cold but the lack of sunlight.

I hear that the sun rises at 9 am and sets at 3 pm in Stockholm in the winter.

Sigh.

It will just make me appreciate my lovely sunny California ALL THE MORE.

But you know, Stockholm could be awfully pretty in the winter – a snowy wonderland of sorts.

And (BEST OF ALL) this means I will be spending NEW YEAR’S EVE with The Swede.

Flip me over, butter my butt and call me sweetheart – I AM TOTALLY EXCITED!

Sweden

I’m one step closer to booking my trip to Stockholm.

I just bought myself a big, puffy, faux fur trim, hooded jacket.

Because basically I’m OBSESSED with the weather.

I live in a temperate climate and so I rarely get to experience the phenomenon known as WEATHER.

Nope.

I basically exist between 50 and 105 degrees Fahrenheit every year.

In Stockholm in December, normal temperatures are around freezing and occasionally warm up to 35 degrees.

That’s COLD!

I don’t even KNOW about the sun, but I suspect being that far north in the hemisphere means that there will be MUCH LESS DAYLIGHT than what I’m used to.

Once, I took a trip to Pennsylvania in the winter time.

Besides shoveling snow EVERY DAMN DAY I WAS THERE, I got to experience what I like to call FUCKING COLD ASS WEATHER.

It was 10 degrees outside.

I’ve never experienced cold like that.

With the wind chill factored in, the temperature was below zero.

BELOW FUCKING ZERO!

The wind WHIPPED through my jeans like needles of ice pricking me and I remembered those ridiculous looking long puffy jackets people on the east coast wore and realized that THIS IS WHY THEY WEAR THOSE SILLY THINGS.

BECAUSE IT’S FUCKING COLD!

Well, I’m not positive, but I think Sweden is COLDER THAN PENNSYLVANIA!

Nevertheless, I have heard it’s beautiful.

And technically, I’m probably Swedish myself (23andMe says I’m mostly Northwestern European).

So I SHOULD go.

But will I?

Mind Blown!

I am considering a trip to Stockholm over the holiday break.

To visit The Swede, no doubt.

But also to see the Vasa and ABBA museums.

Go shopping in Old Town.

Visit the historic Kunglinga Gardens.

And of course, take in a hockey game.

Or five.

I really want to see The Swede in his own country.

As much as I like squiring him about town in California, you don’t REALLY get to know a person until you see how they live and what they enjoy.

One thing I will avoid?

Surströmming.

Fermented herring.

Because nothing says vomit like cold, fermented, smelly fish.

Yes, when I went to Scotland I ate haggis.

It actually wasn’t THAT bad.

But I have a THING for fishy foods.

I simply can’t eat them.

So no surströmming for me.

Lots of The Swede, though.

Consider that I have put my birth control in, then you know I’m serious about visiting.

Plenty of baby making fun with NONE OF THE BABIES.

Now, that’s what I call a vacation!

Of course, there’s one other thing to deal with:

THE WEATHER.

Today for instance, it is 66 degrees Fahrenheit where I am but only 42 degrees Fahrenheit in Stockholm.

That’s COLD, my friends.

And this California girl barely has an umbrella or a jacket, let alone snow-appropriate clothes.

Seriously, WHAT WOULD I WEAR?

I have no warm jackets.

I have no snow boots.

I am sure there are clothes I need to have that I’m not even aware of.

Longjohns?

Special socks?

Puffer jackets?

Seriously, the considerations are MIND-BLOWING!

The one where she goes on a nice date

I had a date last week with a nice gentleman.

He played guitar for me and let me sing.

I’ll tell you one thing, it is NOT EASY to sing JANIS JOPLIN.

Not at all.

It’s easier to sing HOTEL CALIFORNIA but of course, the lyrics are hard to remember.

We started out with dinner at a Burmese restaurant.

It was quite tasty AND spicy!

Who knew I’d have a thing for coconut rice and tea leaf salad, including jalapeños!?

Just wash it all down with a Burmese beer and you’re good to go, you know?

Then he invited me to his place.

Since we’d already had the “I’m on 90 days of abstinence” conversation, I agreed.

Like I said, he was a kind, respectful gentleman and I trusted him.

We had fun drinking beer, talking about his travels, and playing music.

I sang Pat Benatar’s “We Belong.”

He played “Under Pressure” by Queen, which is a remarkably repetitive song, by the way.

Who knew?

In the end, I went home with barely a kiss on my lips, but a smile on my face.

He invited me on a trip to India with him.

Of course, if I go anywhere this holiday season, I’ll be going to Stockholm, not India.

But I appreciated the invitation!

Roar

I’m working on a new Burning Man outfit, loosely inspired by THIS image:

I LOVE the large, colorful graphic sphinx swimsuit and literally SCOURED THE INTERNET looking for a similar lion swimsuit.

This was as close as I came, but sadly was years old and therefore sold out in all sizes.

I happened upon several swimsuits on Wish.com but we’ve already established how well Chinese clothes fit me (not at all).

So I was THRILLED when I finally stumbled across THIS lovely and colorful swimsuit on Poshmark in my size.

Throw on a pair of fishnet tights and my lovely black boots:

And you ALMOST have a completed look.

It needs something on top.

I’m thinking, given all the colors in the suit, that a flower crown will look nice and jungle appropriate out there on the playa:

And voilà!

One lion outfit done and ready to go to Burning Man.

P.S. Don’t forget, the WHOLE reason I am working with swimsuits is that I am trying to minimize my packing while maximizing clothing options.

If I can work up the courage to wear these outfits on the playa.

We shall see. . .

Miss Bennet

I’m working on a new costume because I realized that all would not be right in the world if I didn’t have a Regency-style costume in my collection.

You may not know this, but I was inspired to work on this costume by the play “Miss Bennet: Christmas at Pemberly.”

And even though it may be gauche, I imagine that I can also wear this costume to the Dickens Faire and perhaps even the Edwardian Ball despite the fact that the fashion of those eras are separated by some one hundred years.

Who knows?

One can hope.

So here’s the dress – a simple ivory colored Regency gown.

Short sleeves. High waistline. Long hem. Lace yoke. Modest hemline, especially for me.

I like it, but it’s a little plain.

So I bought a hat that let me make a statement.

Let’s hope when this arrives it looks like it does in the picture.

Because honestly, I didn’t expect that it would be coming ALL THE WAY FROM CHINA!

And I am AWFULLY skeptical of products that come from China.

Of course the outfit needs two accessories: gloves and a sash.

I bought both, each with a little bling – of course.

The lace gloves are very pretty and the sash has some nice sparkle to it.

Then I bought this set of jewelry to finish off the look – pear shaped drop crystal earrings with a matching necklace.

I have NO IDEA how everything will look when I put it together.

I still need to buy a wrap for the outfit, but overall I’m very pleased with my selections.

For a woman who usually wears bright colored clothes, I think I’ve managed to really step outside myself and produce a costume that captures the flavor of the era.

 

UPDATE:

I also found a matching ivory reticule, for the outfit.  Should go perfect!

Giving in

Life is too short to wear comfortable shoes, I’ve always said.

Thus, my closet is packed with about 100 pairs of heels, sky high boots, and glittery sandals.

It’s hard to find a pair of sneakers.

I do have a pair of Chuck Taylors.

And two pairs of running shoes.

Which is why it pains me to admit that I broke down and bought comfortable FLATS for my closet.

I just couldn’t take it anymore – walking in to work, balancing on delicate heels, trying not to break an ankle and turn into a yard sale.

My friend Barbara should be THRILLED.

She wears nothing but Tiek flats and she LOVES them.

You better love them if you’re spending over $300 a pair, is what I say!

I did not buy Tieks.

No, instead I bought a few pairs which I think will fit my unnaturally wide feet.

We’re not talking Hobbit-wide feet, just slightly wider than average.

Thus, these new pairs will be joining my closet in a week and will become staples for my wardrobe accessories.

I just can’t wear heels ALL DAY LONG anymore.

It hurts.

I give up!

Full disclosure: This MAY have something to do with me tripping TWICE in my black heels after a long day at work and literally almost RIPPING MY LITTLE TOE OFF MY RIGHT FOOT in the process.

Flats? Click. Buy.

Hockey

I’ve been thinking about hockey.

A lot.

Not because the Sharks are winning.

No.

Because The Swede and his goalie-daughter are big fans of hockey.

I have never played hockey.

The closest I’ve ever come to playing hockey was singing Christmas carols with the Boston Pops orchestra on the ice during the 1995 holiday season.

I do have skills, however.

I can ice skate.

Not well, but much better than I ski or snowboard.

All those sports which decrease the amount of friction I have with the ground, thereby increasing the chances I have of getting hurt, I tend to avoid.

The last time I snowboarded, I broke my tailbone.

I had to drive all the way home from Reno in a minivan with two little boys and my mom while perched precariously on one butt cheek then the other, desperate not to laugh or sneeze.

It’s been even longer since I ice skated.

My sister took me up to Squaw Valley over a decade ago and we skated around their ice rink a bit.

At first I was very wobbly and had to hold on to the railing.

Eventually, I got the hang of it and I could skate without assistance.

But I was by no means proficient at it.

I could get on the ice and take slap shots at the goal and NOT FALL DOWN.

Much.

So then it goes without saying that when The Swede posts pictures and videos of his daughter DOING HER THING on the ice, I am of course BLOWN AWAY.

She makes me wish I was more athletically inclined.

Not just an athletic supporter.

Fishnet dress

Tee hee hee.

I did something REALLY ridiculous.

I mean, not as ridiculous as wearing a snowsuit to a tanning salon, but something nevertheless quite silly.

I bought a fishnet dress.

WTF am I going to do with a FISHNET DRESS?!

Why WEAR IT AT BURNING MAN, of course!

I figure I’ll layer it over one of my black bathing suits and call it a day.

It’s stylish AND air-conditioned.

You know, the older I get, the less fucks I give about what other people think of my body.

It’s funny.

My whole life I tried to HIDE every dimple, flaw, and jiggle on my body.

It’s only now that I’m older that I realize that most people REALLY DON’T CARE.

To quote Dr. Seuss:

My personal theory about nudity, especially in the communities I circulate in, is that most people actually LIKE it.

We LIKE looking at naked and scantily clad bodies.

It’s fun to see all the body diversity that’s out there.

And I’ll tell you this – I’ve learned that EVERYONE (except for Elle Macpherson) has flaws and that flaws make us beautiful.

So yes, I will wear my fishnet dress with pride.

No, I will not be wearing it with a bikini bottom and rainbow pasties.

I’m bold.

But I’m not THAT bold.