From one of my favorite musicals of all time, Les Miserables, I give you a version updated for corona virus.
Talented family, are they not?
Needing comfort
Today I went grocery shopping at 6 am.
If you know me well, then you know that I typically don’t do anything at 6 am besides sleep.
And I never grocery shop.
I always use Instacart or Safeway delivery.
I was wearing a mask and gloves along with my velour striped elephant pants and pineapple tank top.
Hey, who needs to be fashionable in a pandemic?
I changed out of my shopping clothes to be safe and as I put on a blue maxi dress, I lamented that I don’t have comfy sweats to wear.
I remedied that RIGHT AWAY and bought a few cozy pajama pants and a velour track suit off of Amazon:
Because when working from home, COMFORT IS KEY!
So there you have it – nice, warm pajamas for work (I’ll slip into something more appropriate for virtual meetings, though).
To be honest, I’m kind of proud of myself, not for buying sweat clothes, but for doing grocery shopping for the family – something I HATE to do unless it’s online.
But challenging times call for special measures.
It’s going to get worse before it gets any better.
And here is a video with tips on how to keep the novel corona virus out of your house.
Bygones
Today, I met a man whose love of cosplay rivaled my own.
I mean I’m not a professional but I LOVE costumes and role play.
We shared some of our favorite costumes and he helped me out with an idea for a new costume.
I admitted to binge watching True Blood and knew it was time to make a True Blood costume.
A vampire of course.
Perhaps Jessica?
No.
Pam from True Blood:
She has some FUN lewks.
And, of course she has some great one liners:
Let this good people practice their constitutional right to be fucking idiots.
I am wearing a Wal-mart sweatsuit for ya’ll, if that’s not a demonstration of team spirit, I don’t know what is.
And my PERSONAL favorite:
Let bygones, be bygones; bi-girls, be bi-girls.
I Dream of Farms
I’ve learned a few lessons already from the corona virus, like always keep a supply of tampons in the house.
You never know when your peri-menopausal uterus will start functioning again and surprise you.
Of course, I’ll take a surprise period over a SURPRISE BABY any day.
I learned something else.
I want to own chickens.
Yes, I live on an acre and there’s plenty of space for chickens.
I have a thing about eggs.
I’m worried about running out of eggs and something about running out of eggs makes me panic (just a little).
I also discovered that I want to hoard toilet paper and propane.
Ironic, huh?
But part of my paranoia about getting my period while sheltering at home is that I’m scared I’ll go through toilet paper too quickly.
So back to the chickens. . .
I want some.
And despite the fact that right now I worry that I’m DESTINED to wind up alone and single, I will say this:
The key to my heart?
My own chicken coop.
In addition to being the perfect man.
More than anything, I want to roll up my sleeves, breakout some 2’ x 4’s and wire cutters and BUILD a chicken coop.
I dream about waking up in the morning and picking out fresh eggs from my backyard chickens.
It’s funny what we fantasize about.
I dream of farms.
Apocalypse
Just for shits and giggles, I came across a Google game and I played.
You enter your name plus “Apocalypse Costume” and look at the images that pop up:
Just want to point out all the BAD ASS BITCHES who turn up, including Michelle Rodriguez:
Truthfully, all this reminds me of is Burning Man: Where people regularly wear dystopian clothing and adornments (for men and women) portraying their inner selves.
So give it a shot and see what turns up.
Maybe you’ll be inspired to revamp your wardrobe.
For sure, you’ll start wearing gloves and a mask.
As a burner, I have at least 3 masks which I use at the Burn – two RZ neoprene masks and my “disco” mask which is pretty but useless at doing anything except keeping me from touching my face:
Stay safe out there, my friends.
Online dating in a shelter-at-home state
My experiment with profile photos taught me some valuable lessons.
Do you remember when I put THIS as my profile pic?
Well, needless to say I have learned not to expect to sip safely from the firehose when it’s turned on full force.
It was a deluge.
Here are my new profile photos:
I must admit, there may be fewer matches, but my matches have been better suited to me than when I posted my boudoir photo.
But the nature of online dating is changing.
Everyone seems more willing to text first for a while – even the men who COMPLAIN about having to text are getting into the swing of things.
I’ve hosted a few FaceTime dates myself.
It’s only slightly more awkward than meeting in person.
As a writer, this thrills me.
I express myself with words and I respond to text better than most.
I’m intrigued to see how the age of corona virus will affect online dating.
I for one have slowed down my swiping, but find myself texting longer with men than I have in the past.
It’s not like we can just meet up for a drink anymore.
Hoarding
Today I got up at 5:45 in the morning to accompany my mother to the grocery store to stock up on food.
Nevermind that we already have stores of food and beverages.
I had a hard time getting her out of Safeway.
I feel like donning my burner wear when I go out in the world right now for essential trips for food and medication – leather skirt, bondage corset, and black platform boots.
Why?
Because we’re living in dystopia.
And dystopian times call for a dystopian wardrobe, don’t you think?
I long for THE GOOD OLD DAYS before corona virus, don’t you?
I mean, having to wear a mask on my face for safety is NOTHING NEW FOR ME.
I do it every time I go to the Burn.
People are creating chat rooms and virtual parties to stay in touch and stay entertained.
I myself belong to a few chat rooms which have saved my sanity during these challenging times.
Blogging has taken a back seat.
It’s hard to write about building costumes when the very event I build those outfits for is at risk of being cancelled.
Suddenly, outfits seem wildly frivolous, even if the entertainment it provides helps me to cope with this new world order.
For once, I’m thankful that I’ve been hoarding fabric, so I can work on quilts, while I monitor my chat rooms for humor to help relive some of the worry I’m experiencing.
Stay safe at home my friends.
Keep in touch with your family and friends.
Stock the fridge and freezer and Netflix and chill, as best you can.
I think we’re in this for the long run.
Just for fun, my friend posted a link to a calculator which will tell you how long your TP supply will last given how often you use the restroom. Enjoy!
Thankful
Well, sending love letters to my loved ones is still a project underway.
Given these unsettling times, I told everyone over a Chipotle dinner that I loved them.
That my children are the best things to happen to me.
And honest to God, they are.
Followed closely by the blessing of my parents.
Being adopted by them was a streak of good luck.
Of course, everyone snickered, and my eldest asked if I was feeling okay.
No, I’m not OKAY.
I’m worried.
Nervous about the future.
Suddenly I am thankful for the most mundane of things: a deep breath of air, a slice of chocolate cake, a sunrise. . .
My birthfamily too.
So if you were to ask me how “shelter-in-place” is going, I’d have to tell you I’m in THE BEST company.
If they’re not here with me, they’re close to me, carried in my heart.
And it feels good to remember how special they are to me.
Vibrator
Check out this cover of Billie Eilish:
Had me rolling on the floor.
Duh!
Fleur
More than anything, I want to find a dress like this in my size to complete my Harry Potter Fleur Delacour outfit:
Doesn’t it go PERFECTLY with my Fleur hat:
Mostly, I’m having trouble finding a dress because I want to be some kind of post-apocalyptic Fleur Delacour, with an eye catching cape dress maybe:
Sadly, I’m just not finding anything that wows me, except for this:
Leave it to me to fall in love with latex all over again!
UPDATE: Turns out I already have the perfect dress in my closet already – a slinky light blue velvet dress I have yet to wear out:
