How to freak the shit out of myself

I’ve been invited to a tantric playground.


Let me repeat that.

I’ve been invited to a SENSUAL tantric playground.

Now first of all, I know nothing of tantra. And second of all, I’ve learned through OMing that my sensuality needs to be developed (I’m a bit of a cave man when it comes to sex).

So I have two strikes against me.

But since I’m entitled to three strikes, I just might take up this challenge and go FREAK THE SHIT OUT OF MYSELF through sensual tantra.

The reality is, this is billed as an opportunity to “Explore your senses with sacred sounds, breath, conscious touch and scrumptious tastes as you awaken to a more delicious experience of you. Savor the elixir of mantras and sacred poetry guided through an experience of sensory bliss. Share the gifts of sensual feeding of the mind and body in this heart expanding experience. The evening is playful and sensual but non-sexual experience nurturing one another by exploring the senses.”

I think this means that the evening will be sensual in nature but not sexual (i.e. I won’t be sitting in a room with a bunch of self-styled new-age gurus fucking each other). Which is good because I can just see myself getting stuck with a 70+ year old guy with a Gandolf beard who smells of patchouli and wears hemp clothes.  And while I’m open to a lot of things, hanging out in a room full of strangers who are fucking each other is something I’m not prepared to participate in.  I’m all for achieving erotic enlightenment, just not with a room full of people there to cheer me on.  Seems like something like that should be a little more private.

Since I’m slightly chicken to do this on my own, I’ve asked my friend Matt to go with me.

He seems adventurous and fun. And since we’ve already played together it wouldn’t be totally weird to be exploring tantra with him.

If I’m going to get all New Age silly on someone, it might as well be him.

Because in the end, this might be a total waste of time.

And I’ll need someone to roll my eyes at and laugh about it with.

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