Little known fact: I have a third nipple.
Yes, it’s true.
I was born with what looks like a birthmark on my chest but is actually a rudimentary nipple.
It’s located below my left breast.
I think it’s hilarious that I have three nipples.
Mind you, it’s not like the third one works or anything.
Although it did get bigger and itched when I was nursing my sons.
However, it’s usually the size of a dime and looks exactly like a birthmark.
The great thing about having a third nipple is that I passed on the genes for it to my son Duncan.
Yes, he too has a third nipple only it’s on the ride side of his chest instead of the left.
He hates it!
He doesn’t find it funny like I do.
Fortunately, it’s so benign looking that he can take his shirt off and no one thinks it’s anything but a birthmark.
But I know better.
My whole family knows better.
That scene in “Total Recall” where the alien woman whips out her boobs and there are three of them, all lined up in a row, has made the men I date HUGELY curious about my third nipple.
I think that’s what they’re hoping for.
When I show it to them and they find out it’s nothing more exotic that a slightly raised birthmark, you’d think they’d be disappointed.
BUT YOU’D BE WRONG!
Oh no! The reverence with which they touch it, is astounding.
It’s like they’re touching a little slice of heaven and it JUST GOES TO SHOW. . .
WHEN IT COMES TO BOOBS, SIZE REALLY DOESN’T MATTER.
They’ll love it no matter what.