Third nipple!

Little known fact: I have a third nipple.

Yes, it’s true.

I was born with what looks like a birthmark on my chest but is actually a rudimentary nipple.

It’s located below my left breast.

I think it’s hilarious that I have three nipples.

Mind you, it’s not like the third one works or anything.

Although it did get bigger and itched when I was nursing my sons.

However, it’s usually the size of a dime and looks exactly like a birthmark.

IMG_9583The great thing about having a third nipple is that I passed on the genes for it to my son Duncan.

Yes, he too has a third nipple only it’s on the ride side of his chest instead of the left.

He hates it!

He doesn’t find it funny like I do.

Fortunately, it’s so benign looking that he can take his shirt off and no one thinks it’s anything but a birthmark.

But I know better.

My whole family knows better.

That scene in “Total Recall” where the alien woman whips out her boobs and there are three of them, all lined up in a row, has made the men I date HUGELY curious about my third nipple.

I think that’s what they’re hoping for.

When I show it to them and they find out it’s nothing more exotic that a slightly raised birthmark, you’d think they’d be disappointed.

BUT YOU’D BE WRONG!

Oh no! The reverence with which they touch it, is astounding.

It’s like they’re touching a little slice of heaven and it JUST GOES TO SHOW. . .

WHEN IT COMES TO BOOBS, SIZE REALLY DOESN’T MATTER.

They’ll love it no matter what.

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