Last night I IM’d my ex-boyfriend James. Back then when we were in college, he was a 6’4″ tall, devilishly handsome young man. Now, he is a 6’4″ tall, devilishly handsome triathlete. Bonus!
I’d like to say “I got with that” but the truth is when I was younger I was stupid (more stupid than I am now, at least) and I thought our perfect relationship would last forever so I was in no rush to bed him. Talk about a missed opportunity. Our relationship lasted as long as summer break until he met someone else and I got lonely.
Anyway, James is happily married now to a beautiful woman and has a pile of kids he’s raising. So I did what any normal single girl would do… I asked him to hook me up with any single friends he has. He was open to the possibility but skeptical of his friends’ compatibility.
Then we got to talking about one of my favorite soapbox topics – women and their libido. I, of course, have a HUGE libido and always have. Same with my cousin Jennifer, so I suspect it might be in our genes. But other women are not so much interested in sex.
I have a friend who told me she and her husband have sex every couple of months when she feels guilty about continuing to say no. I was shocked. Why would two perfectly healthy, hormonal human beings who sleep together every night NOT GET THEIR FREAK ON???
So I had some tips for her. Pardon me while I get on my soapbox:
1. Drink wine
2. Watch soft porn (Red Shoe Diaries, Wild Orchid, 9 1/2 Weeks, etc.)
3. Get a housekeeper
4. Go on a vacation, just the two of you
5. Get the “Shades of Gray” book series and read it before bedtime or the “Sleeping Beauty” series by Ann Rice
6. Get a good night’s sleep
7. Just start doing it regularly for a week and see how you feel about it
8. Insist on your pleasure too (no faking it)
9. Swap massages first
10. Buy a book, learn a new technique
11. Drink wine
Soapbox moment is over.
In any case, the conversation with James inspired this post and some lovely memories of when I was 20 and head over heels in love with James.
If nothing else, I got this compliment from him, “Your blog is very you in a good way. And f anyone who doesn’t like it or can’t deal.”
True true. Hope you all keep reading and enjoying 🙂