Things that never happen the the Default World

img_0113One of the great things about being located at 6:30 and E-G at Burning Man this year, besides the WONDERFUL central location, is that we happened to be across the street from Barbie Death Camp (and just a stone’s throw away from the kink factory known as Retrofrolic).

I had a FANTASTIC time at Barbie Death Camp.

I went there one day because I heard that they were giving out free massages – regular or “erotic.” They also had FOUR HANDED MASSAGES!

Now I know you all are hoping that I went for the erotic massage but those were really intended for couples – so that one partner could be instructed on how to stroke the other partner in a sexy fashion.

I got in line to get a regular massage.

While I was waiting I was urged to partake in a vinegar foot bath (to combat the alkalinity of the playa with the acidity of vinegar).

However, the foot baths looked rather dusty and unappealing and the last thing I wanted to do was soak my feet in them.

img_0163Before I knew it, my massage therapist was taking me behind the curtain to disrobe and lie naked on a massage table while she gave me a full body massage, topless.

This is Burning Man, folks.

Anything goes.

What followed was the best, most relaxing massage I’ve ever had.

Usually, I have a hard time relaxing when a stranger is touching me.

Maybe it was because I was on vacation at Burning Man. Maybe it’s because my therapist had great energy. Maybe it’s because it was noon and I already had two gin and tonics in me.

But I turned into a pile of goo right there on that massage table.

I’m fairly certain that she used coconut oil on me because I smelled like a tasty toasted coconut after my massage and my skin was beautifully hydrated and soft.

This is Burning Man, to me. A lovely afternoon getting a massage while slightly tipsy by a topless therapist who chats you up the whole time.

This would never happen in the Default World.

Sad face.

5 thoughts on “Things that never happen the the Default World

  1. That’s my camp!! Barbie Day Spa. So glad you had enjoyed your massage. Come back and see us again.

  2. Yay! Last year was my first w/ Barbie Day Spa, wonderful people, love ’em, my new family. So glad you enjoyed us! Come back this year💖💙💚💛💜

  3. I love these stories. The default world often is more ridiculous than anything around us. I’m thankful you enjoyed yourself, you deserved to relax.

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