I miss it.
I miss the excitement of those first few texts.
I miss the thrill of going on a first date.
I miss the anticipation of that first kiss.
Yeah sure, a lot about internet dating and first dates absolutely SUCKS.
The stink of rejection.
The boredom of no connection.
The stress of tying to impress.
But it’s not all bad.
I could use a bit of that secret little thrill you get when you meet someone you’re attracted to.
God, could I use some of that.
And, you know, how am I going to meet someone and hit it off with them if I’m not even looking?
Part of me seriously wonders if I’m going to wind up a lesbian.
After all, I meet tons of AWESOME women.
There was the nice, butch 49er fan I was attracted to BIG TIME, so it’s not like there’s no precedent.
But I think my preference is for men.
The other day I was driving my car and I saw a man standing on the side of the road, bending to grab something in a nearby hole. He was wearing jeans and a tight t-shirt. His hair was short and he had a beard.
I immediately felt this RUSH OF HORMONES.
And it made me realize. . .
I’m not dead.
I may feel like that part of my life has shriveled up and died, but it hasn’t.
It’s just waiting to roar to life.