Drink More, Care Less

Match is trying very hard to LURE ME BACK UNDER THE EVIL WING OF INTERNET DATING.

screen-shot-2016-11-10-at-1-07-43-pmThey send me emails with discounts combined with pictures of handsome men, all smiling at me, all looking oh-so-available and wholesome.

screen-shot-2016-11-10-at-1-08-01-pmWell, I’ve got news for Match.

I’m not looking for wholesome.

I like my men with a side of kink and an extra helping of naughty.

And yes, while it’s true I have a thing for LUMBERJACKS, I’m also beginning to realize I have a thing for burners as well.

And by “burners” I mean men who go to Burning Man, not necessarily 420-friendly.

Although after the passing of Prop 64 in California, I’m guessing that will be a lot more prevalent and socially acceptable now.

In any case, here I am facing the holidays alone and single (still) and wondering what I’m going to do about a New Year’s Eve date all the while Match is pinging me with carefully marketed emails designed to make me hopeful and optimistic about internet dating again.

id1Well, THEY FAIL.

I’d rather turn lesbian than return to the hell hole of internet dating.

Internet dating is like shooting fish in a barrel – sure, it gets the job done but it’s a messy business.

id2I wish I could trade my heart in for another liver.

So I could drink more and care less.

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