It’s not that I CAN’T achieve my goal.
After all, I’m not even TRYING to go out on dates with anybody ever since the last fiasco where I met a. . . GASP. . . TRUMP SUPPORTER.
I know, I know!
It was BAD!
So there are no opportunities for me to break my vow of abstinence.
However, I’ve noticed that my consumption of soft core porn has increased.
This is a sure sign that my hormones are trying to WAKE ME UP and GET ME MOVING.
I know that every time I watch the naked bare butt scene in P.S. I Love You, I’m looking to get my rocks off.
And when I break out Red Shoe Diaries, you can be sure I’m in the mood.
I was even so desperate, I watched 50 Shades of Grey.
You know you’re in bad shape when you watch that movie.
So I repeat myself – it’s not that I CAN’T achieve my goal, the question is more, WHY WOULD I WANT TO?