Toilets and Love

My sister tagged me in a Facebook post calling me “the eternal love optimist.”

Along with that sentiment came her “two cents” on the topic.

diarrheaLove is the best feeling.

But finding a toilet when you have diarrhea is better.


Perhaps in the moment.

I remember one time my ex-husband had the trots and we were LITERALLY A BLOCK from our house when he made me pull over so he could use the bathroom at McDonalds.


I’m sure at that time I held little value for him where as the toilet was a thing of beauty.

If I remember correctly, I think I was laughing a little bit at his plight.

Or at least trying not to laugh and failing miserably.

Let’s face it, the superiority of love over toilets doesn’t need to be proven.

It’s just a fact.

Toilets can’t love you back.

They can’t keep you warm in bed.

And they can’t hug you when you’re feeling down.

They certainly can’t give you an orgasm.

At best they can make you feel all tingly inside, but that’s just a temporary side effect of poor blood circulation.

The point to my sister’s post (and I think this is key to the difference between us) is that I am an optimist and expect love to fall in my lap at some point in the future whereas my sister is a pessimist and has found other ways to keep herself happy.

I suppose when you’re a mobile nurse driving from home to home in the Nevada mountains, finding a toilet could feel similar to falling in love.

It could.

But it’s not.


7 thoughts on “Toilets and Love

  1. As a fond FB person, I have seen this meme and laughed. I have seen this meme and also thought some of the same things you have shared. I also wondered why love needs demeaned and brought to the level of potty humor. But, I tend to think more than the average bear and am less than optimistic in my musings. I also do not cry when I watch ‘It’s a wonderful life’. (I did laugh a ton at the Jimmy Stewart movie, ‘It’s a wonderful world’. (OK, that was pretty random!!!)

  2. It’s not either or. I was on a road trip with my then boyfriend and a serious bout of food poisoning hit unexpectedly. Cut to the chase – there was no toilet for 50 miles and I let loose. It was revolting. I felt shame as I had never felt it before. Suffice it to say – he opened the windows, pulled over at the nearest rest stop, got me what I needed to do a preliminary clean-up before going into the rest room. While I was gone and dealing with the mess, he cleaned the car and my seat. One I returned – totally mortified – he looked me in the eye and said – “You shit in your pants. No big deal. I just hope it’s not an indication of something really wrong. I want you to promise me that when we get home that you will call your doctor and get this checked out.” I did and when I told him it was IBS brounght on by coffee and my impending period, he gave me a big hug and said, “Thank God.” He was a total sweetheart. And if you can shit in your pants and get that kind of reaction – toilets be damned. 🙂 We broke up because our work took us to different parts of the world but this was a guy who knew what to do when a toilet was not an option. A champ in my book. 🙂

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