How to be a respectable old bore. . .

michelleA friend posted a link to an article titled “15 Things no Grown Woman Should Have in her Closet.

Or as I like to put it, “How to become a sensible old bore.”

Here are the 15 things the article says don’t belong in a closet:

  1. Old bridesmaid dresses.
  2. Old Halloween costumes.
  3. Truly, madly painful heels.
  4. Anything stained or holey.
  5. Bras that could double as a slingshot.
  6. Panties that could double as dental floss.
  7. Leggings that are now practically sheer.
  8. Bodycon dresses.
  9. Ill-fitting suits.
  10. Guilty impulse buys.
  11. Comically low-rise jeans.
  12. Velour tracksuits.
  13. Festival wear.
  14. Old Greek-life function T-shirts.
  15. “Skinny clothes.”

I break virtually every one of these rules – with the exception of #1 (because I was never a bridesmaid), #4 (because I throw that shit OUT), and #14 (because I was never in the Greek system).

I firmly believe in the importance of keeping things that make you feel good, regardless if they pinch your toes, are out-of-fashion, or are just a little too sheer to be worn anywhere but to bed.

That said, I also believe in the value of wearing costumes.

There’s a reason Halloween is such a favorite holiday for so many people.

And as a burner, I attend many dress up functions where I get to wear my costumes for other people to see.

They’re also nice for ROLE PLAY, just sayin’.

In any case, throw out your old bills.

Keep your old costumes.

Live a little.

Plenty of time to be a respectable old bore later. . .

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