I went ahead and changed my Match.com profile to THIS.
And ever since I did, my “phone” has been ringing off the hook.
One guy called my profile refreshing.
Another man apologized for all the creeps out there.
And yet another referred to my profile as “honest and funny.”
So far so good.
I haven’t received any dick pics or any requests for guys to “cum in my ass” so that’s a plus!
Maybe this profile will filter out the majority of the sex perverts and unavailable men.
One can hope.
Because I’ve met Bob.
Bob is a big guy. Heavily tattooed. With a nice trim beard.
Exactly what I look for, no?
Well, we shall see.
He did text me at 5 O’CLOCK IN THE FUCKING MORNING.
Just to let me know he was up.
These are the things I DON’T NEED TO KNOW.
Not at 5 o’clock in the morning, anyways.
Despite his unfortunate lack of sensibility when it comes to early morning communications, I like Bob.
He seems like a nice guy, albeit an intimidating one what with his LANDSCAPE of tattoos.
Wish me luck!