I took my second Lap Dance class this Thursday with my imaginary boyfriend.
Once again, it was me in a room with several scantily clad ladies. The instructor wore a g-string. Sometimes I just sit in class and let myself be amazed by the beauty of the women around me.
We practiced our routine. By now we had the beginning part down.
- Lay your “boyfriend” on the bed. Prop up his head so he can watch you.
- Start out by doing a little routine against the wall. Don’t forget to open your legs. 😉
- Go to the bed and play with your “boyfriend.”
- Don’t forget to SMEAR your body against his. SMEAR. SMEAR. SMEAR. I love that word.
- Rotate your body to give him a side view.
- More smearing. Do it slowly.
- Rotate your body to give him the back view. Nice.
And that’s where we stopped. And somewhere in this whole routine, I realized that my shoes were not nearly as sexy as everyone else’s. I realized that in order to be an effective lap dancer (or at least to look the part), I needed to get a new pair of shoes. So I went online and bought these puppies.
And I can’t really describe how happy these ridiculous shoes make me feel. But I do know that there’s something about their absolute frivolity that appeals to me and resonates with my inner diva.