Lousy on top

Invariably, while I’m in the middle of getting my groove on, my partner will look at me and suggest a change in position.

“What do you have in mind?” I ask cheekily.

“Woman on top,” he replies.

Gah.

My WORST position ever!

I’d rather get on my hands and knees but being the type that doesn’t want to disappoint, I oblige.

I climb on top. . .

. . . and proceed to execute the most awkward, inelegant moves you can imagine.

Do I kneel?

Do I squat?

Half kneel, half squat?

I just can’t seem to get any traction.

Other women SWEAR by this position.

In fact I have friends who tell me it’s the only position that allows them to get off.

I’m still all knees and elbows, feeling like I’m hopping on a pogo stick made of meat and can’t get my balance or establish a rhythm.

The truth is it’s nothing that a little practice won’t fix.

If only I could get over being self-conscious about my lack of grace when I’m on top.

Maybe then I could master the technique.

Until then I’ll have to just grin and bear it.

Fake it ‘til you make it.

2 thoughts on “Lousy on top

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