Privacy

Yesterday my privacy was violated.

Someone logged into my Facebook account and looked at pictures that were supposed to be private.

Ones that I had filtered from the public and friends.

Not nude pics, but close to nude pics.

Tasteful I thought.

This person then got upset and offended and proceeded to tell my mother that I needed an intervention. That I was out of control.

Nudity bothers me less than the average American. In that respect, I am less mainstream and more on the fringe.

My mother then proceeded to unload on me all her imagined “sexual trespasses” that I had “committed” in her mind.

According to her, I sleep with every man I go on a date with.

This is ironic. I can point to many men I’ve dated way more than just one time who I have never slept with.

I do the best I can to share intimacies with men who I feel have the possibility of developing into something more.

In some cases, I am right – like with Luke and Jay – and I wind up in 18 month relationships.

In other cases, I am wrong – like with The Israeli – and I wind up ghosted with a face full of cum.

I rarely spend the night and I don’t have sex at my house.

These are the rules I have.

As a 43 year old woman, I don’t think I need to justify my sex life to my parents and it’s a shame that they are all up in my business about it.

It hurts that someone felt the need to spy on me, but what hurts more is knowing that my parents have a flawed and skewed image of me in their heads.

According to my mother, I am a slut.

Sigh.

That woman has never been comfortable with my sexuality.

There is no great insight I have here.

I’m rather confused and hurt about the whole experience.

And it’s ironic that all this is happening at a time in my life when I’m focused less on dating and more on friendships.

Yes, you read that right.

I’m settling down.

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5 thoughts on “Privacy

  1. Parents come from a different generation. My mother thought I was a slut for having business lunches with the opposite sex. They mean well but they’re out of touch with the times. However, the individual who took it upon themselves to be the morality police is something else entirely. Your privacy was violated and you were harshly judged for something that was none of their business. Be yourself. It’s clear from this blog that you’re a caring mother, daughter and friend. You hold down a responsible job. But you’re also a woman in her prime who likes to have a little fun. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

    • Michelle, I am JUST like you. I don’t have nudity issues but I do have body issues. I love to talk about sex, one of my favorite subjects. I come from a mother who grew up lily white, tea toataller, doesn’t drink, only listens to Bach-I have NO idea how I was even conceived. She finds my mouth disgusting & corrects me all the time. A dad who’s even married 35 years. I am now living with my mother. Let me tell you how much has changed. She excepts my swearing BUT the biggest, the most AMAZING part of it all? She’s excepted I’m having an affair with an unhappily married man. She now graciously gave him a key to the house so he can come & go as he pleases (literally) AND let’s not forget, the poor thing has to hear us have wild & crazy sex. So forget about what our parents think. What mom realized was if I am happy & smiling, she is going to except it even if it’s not in her morality mind.
      It’s tough, when mom found out, I accidentally sent a text to her telling a girlfriend what an amazing fuck “he” is & she knew who I was talking about…it was MORTIFYING. But, despite the humiliation, the judgement, the expectations of how their offspring is supposed to conduct themselves, all that matters is if you are happy within yourself & proud of what you do. You seem confident & enjoying the hell out of life & that’s ALL THAT MATTERS. Keep them blogs rolling, don’t back off, don’t be ashamed. Be you. I have countless pics of me nude AND having sex…my boys even came across them (whoops) but I DONT CARE (anymore!)
      And whomever broke into your pics should be MORE ashamed of themselves than you should be. I’d be close to saying adios to someone like that. Stay strong & stay you, girlfriend!

  2. I’m so sorry to hear that Michelle! I agree with you. As a grown adult woman your sex life is your own business and nobody else’s. Especially your parents. I think you’re beautiful and fantastic and wouldn’t change a thing about you.

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