Stood Up

Did I ever tell you about the time I got stood up by a Tinder date?

It was my first time EVER getting stood up.

Sadly, it would not be the last time.

The thing was, I was kind of excited about this date and so I popped in at home, brushed my teeth, fluffed my hair, and actually misted myself with spray glitter.

Yes, I know, how very millennial of me, no?

And very playa unfriendly.

But I wasn’t on the playa, I was in Los Gatos.

We were scheduled to meet at at Oak & Rye, a nice pizza place that serves my favorite beer – Panty Peeler by Midnight Sun.

As I’m WALKING INTO THE RESTAURANT, I happen to glance at my phone and I have a message from my date.

Well, that’s a nice how-do-you-do?

I was peeved by the whole experience.


Mentally, I wrote him off.


I was sorely tempted to reply:


But that’s just my inner bitch freaking out.

I actually sent no reply.

Sometimes actions speak louder than words.

7 thoughts on “Stood Up

  1. I get so frustrated when my name is spelled wrong!!! Especially by people who I think know me. You had a good response. Hope you ended up with your favorite beer anyway!

  2. I believe in French the word is “Dumbass” but I may be wrong. Very few conditions would be justifiable reasons to stand up a date: such as one or both of my legs were crushed in a disturbingly random Google Driverless Car related accident, or maybe my manhood and/or his two associates happen to mysteriously disappear even though they were there this morning because I saw and cleaned all three of them in preparation for our date, or of course if I was finally tracked down by Interpol with a warrant stating that I am wanted for failure to pay my driving while under the influence ticket from Amsterdam from the year after college find myself drug and booze European tour. But shy of any or all of those things occurring simultaneously I would make sure I was there! Especially given the name of your favorite beer! Dumbass!

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