Pasties

Pasties.

No, I’m not talking about the delicious British meat pies, I’m talking about nipple covers.

Tiny little pieces of feather and tassle that adhere to the nipples.

I have a bag with 8 pairs of blinged out, rainbow pasties.

Have I ever worn them?

No.

Will I ever wear them?

Not likely.

And yet I still insist on dragging them to and from the playa every Burning Man for the past two years.

They’re packed for me to bring them again this year.

I’m not sure what insanity compels me to bring them.

It’s likely that anyone over a C cup SHOULD NOT WEAR PASTIES.

And Lord knows, I’m a G!

The most reasonable cause for my insanity is that I simply LIKE how pasties look on other people and I IMAGINE that I would have the balls to pull off wearing them myself.

In reality, my balls would have to be a lot bigger for me to do that.

Incidentally, I did slap on a pair of pasties years ago when I was visiting Tahoe with a boyfriend.

I thought it would be fun for him to “discover” me wearing them underneath my clothes.

Needles to say, he was surprised, but when it came to taking them off, PASTIES REMOVAL IS ONE OF THE MOST PAINFUL THINGS A WOMAN CAN EXPERIENCE.

Rather like vacuuming one’s nipples with a super strength hoover.

Not at all pleasant.

That is all.

3 thoughts on “Pasties

  1. I have always wondered about those..they just seem illogical. I remember friends who would put bandaids over their nipples to keep them from ‘showing’ when they wore certain tops and those were reported to be uncomfortable to remove!

  2. The alternative is latex body paint. Just paint over the nipples in whatever color and shape you choose. It’s flexible and peels off painlessly. God, how do I know about these things????

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