Cocksucking, reprised

In 2015, I stumbled upon an activity at the Retrofrolic camp at Burning Man called “COCKSUCKING CERTIFICATION.”

Basically, you had to simulate oral sex on three dolls, each with a dildo linked to a pump that shot a dose of hot liquor into your mouth upon “completion” which you then had to then swallow.

Once completed, a barker would present you with a “Cocksucking Certification Card” which was good for 1-year and then ANNOUNCE to the audience that you had just successfully completed your Cocksucking Certification.

I know.

It sounds weird, but Burning Man is all about doing fun and unusual things like this.

I got my certification in 2015 despite having peppermint schnapps go down the wrong pipe!

And I got my certification in 2016 when all you had to do was engage one phallus, not three, and swallow the product thereof.

This year, the Cocksucking Certfication was even less rigorous.

All you had to do with simulate oral sex on a big white dildo attached to a St. Andrew’s cross.

That’s it.

So I stepped up and completed the activity.

Then Yvonne stepped up and completed it.

We both got our Certifications and went on our merry way.

But just in case you doubt the truth of it, here’s my Certification:

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