I don’t talk much about my 2015 burn mainly because it was a painful experience for me.
I was ditched by a friend.
Then I got dumped.
I happened to tell the story to some new friends on the playa and during the conversation it came out that despite the breakup, I still continued sleeping with the guy who dumped me.
The men in the group were dumbfounded.
Why would I do that?
Do I have any self-respect?
Who shares her bed with someone who dumped her?
[Ah, well I think that happens a lot more frequently than we’d care to admit.]
I let their judgments wash over me.
I asked myself, why DID I do that?
Why didn’t I walk off and find new friends?
I think I gave a flippant answer to the men in the group. Something like “I don’t keep a platonic bed.”
Better to be seen as a nymphomaniac than a doormat, right?
But that really wasn’t the reason.
I know why I did it.
I did it because I was fucking lonely and some company is better than no company at all.
That’s my reason.
Maybe it wasn’t dignified.
Maybe I really was a doormat.
Maybe it wasn’t romantic or friendly or even cool, which is what I told myself at the time I was doing it.
So judge away all of you.
At least I had company at night.