There’s no such thing as surprise anal

Now.

I know what you’re thinking.

You’re thinking “tell me she is NOT going there.”

Why yes.

Yes, I am.

I once sat in on a cocksucking class.

It was called Blowjobs 102 and it was held in a pole dancing studio.

The instructor was telling us about anal sex.

She said two things that stick in my mind.

The first thing she said is that in anal sex (unlike in regular sex), the penetrator stays still while the penetratee does all the moving.

Imagine a visual to go with this.

Ok.

Then she said “There is no such thing as surprise anal!”

I know she’d like to think this.

Take it from a woman who has shoved her finger up a guy’s ass – it’s best to not surprise anyone this way.

But I have to say, much to her dismay, THERE IS.

It’s even got a name.

It’s called “WRONG HOLE!” and it’s usually shouted strenuously.

Now I can understand younger men having this problem.

I certainly bellowed WRONG HOLE! more than I care to admit when I was younger and playing with young men.

But it STILL happens even with men in their 40s and 50s.

I think they get excited, start poking around DOWN THERE, feel something give and just ASSUME it’s a pussy.

Well, I’m here to say NOT SO.

Take your time.

Find the right hole.

Because there IS such a thing as SURPRISE ANAL and it ain’t pretty.

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