Problem solved!

It’s been almost 12 years since I divorced my ex-husband.

Invariably, the men I date ask me how long it’s been since my divorce and they are SHOCKED at the answer.

I always ask them the same question.

I have a theory that a man needs to be two years out from a divorce in order to actually be AVAILABLE for a new relationship.

At my aunt’s 50th birthday party, while lying in bed recovering from tequila, my aunt predicted that I was going to get married again someday.

It’s been 12 years.

I’m a little skeptical.

It’s not that I OBJECT to marriage.

I know at least two happy marriages for every marriage I’d characterize as unhappy.

Once upon a time I dreamed I’d get married and have more kids.

I was CONFIDENT that it would happen for me.

But it didn’t happen.

In fact, several rather shitty relationships materialized for me along with one decent one, which was sadly destined to fail.

Despite knowing myself a great deal better than I did at age 22 when I got married the first time, I’m not sure I trust my judgment.

Lord knows, I love me some lumberjacks but having a big chest and impressive facial hair does not necessarily mean he’s the perfect partner for me.


The first time around I married chiseled cheekbones and a nice ass.

It makes for attractive offspring but not relationship longevity.

It would be AWFUL to go through another divorce.

And it occurs to me, if I NEVER get married again then I’ll NEVER risk getting another divorce.

Problem solved!

3 thoughts on “Problem solved!

  1. The funny thing for me is that whenever I say I don’t want something, that’s exactly when it happens. Some people ask the universe for things and the universe delivers. For some of us, the universe takes perverse pleasure is offering exactly what we said we didn’t want–though sometimes, I must admit, the universe must have been listening more closely that I was because they delivered something I needed.
    Not lately though.

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