The trick about taking a vow of celibacy is that I’m finding ways to skirt around the issue.
So I’m not supposed to have sex.
I can do that for 90 days,
But all the energy I normally pour into my assignations now has nowhere to go and so it’s leaking out in semi destructive ways:
- More sexting that ever before, this time with good friends (potentially damaging the friendships).
- A strong desire to hook up with single male friends for “snuggling and hair pulling” (I mean what I say and yet who am I kidding, THIS IS TOTALLY SEXUAL FOR ME).
- Outrageous porn consumption (‘nuf said).
I mean, yes, I’m making it through but no, it’s not pretty.
Hopefully my single guy friends can handle seeing me naked when I sext them and will still be friends with me later.
It’s sort of a Catch-22: I want to be good and limit my sexual activities but the energy is redirected into me exploiting activities on the fringes of my sex life – hair pulling, snuggling, back scratching, kissing, etc.
In a way, I like it.
It’s like one LONG foreplay sesh that lasts 90 days.
On the other hand, it’s TORTURE.
So wish me luck.
I am only 3.5 weeks into my vow.
9 more to go!