St. Pauli Girl

A long time ago, I bought myself a St. Pauli Girl costume.

Little did I know how much use I was going to get out of it.

I wore that costume when I poured beer to raise money for charities.

And I wore it to my German friend’s birthday party (both times).

I also wore it to Oktoberfest celebrations and even on playa as a trick-or-treat costume.

Sadly however, the costume has bit the dust.

Well, I’m ASSUMING that it bit the dust since I can’t seem to find it since I last wore it.

I think in a fit of nonchalance, I carelessly “retired it to the round file,” instead of giving it a proper send off (three beers, a shot of Feigling, and some loud tuba music).

As it happens, I have three other “Oktoberfest” costumes, however NONE of them are authentic.

They’re green and pink, blue and white, brown and yellow.

What I want is a REAL St. Pauli Girl costume, and I have been searching high and low for just that.

Red skirt, blue apron, black corset, white blouse.

How HARD could that be?

Turns out. . . VERY HARD!

Hence the reason why I have THREE alternate Oktoberfest costumes.

So you can imagine how THRILLED I was to discover the EXACT SAME St. Pauli Girl costume on Amazon. . . and IN MY SIZE!

I’m sure everyone will be BEYOND ECSTATIC to see that my ass no longer peeks out from under a skirt that is two sizes too small for me to wear.

Or will they?