Speaking of JUNK IN THE TRUNK, I worked on a project over the weekend – a pale pink tutu which I lit up with pink fairy lights.
I had to stitch the fairy lights to the tutu and let me tell you, IT WAS NOT FUN.
You try using TRANSPARENT fishing line to stitch a thin wire to the gauziest of fabrics and see how well it works for you.
Actually, what I am doing here is bitching about my eyesight, which is not what it used to be.
So, I finish stitching the lights to the inside of the skirt and I slip it on to check it out.
Lo and behold, the tutu rests 14 inches down the front of my thighs. . .
. . .and the back of the tutu barely covers my ass on account of all the JUNK IN MY TRUNK.
Of course, Tejas tried to make me feel better.
He reminded me that come August, I will be smaller than I am now because of my diet.
[Of course this didn’t help me feel better since the diet has sorta gone by the wayside.]
Look at ALL THAT JELLY!
You could serve tea on my ass, it’s that big!
“I’m gonna need to buy some pink ruffle panties,” I tell Tejas.
“Who knows. . . by the time Burning Man rolls around, you might be wearing a thong., “ he replied (way more optimistically than he should have given that he KNOWS how bad the diet is going.)