I took my second Lap Dance class this Thursday with my imaginary boyfriend.

Once again, it was me in a room with several scantily clad ladies.  The instructor wore a g-string.  Sometimes I just sit in class and let myself be amazed by the beauty of the women around me.

We practiced our routine.  By now we had the beginning part down.

  • Lay your “boyfriend” on the bed.  Prop up his head so he can watch you.
  • Start out by doing a little routine against the wall.  Don’t forget to open your legs. 😉
  • Go to the bed and play with your “boyfriend.”
  • Don’t forget to SMEAR your body against his.  SMEAR. SMEAR. SMEAR. I love that word.
  • Rotate your body to give him a side view.
  • More smearing. Do it slowly.
  • Rotate your body to give him the back view.  Nice.

And that’s where we stopped.  And somewhere in this whole routine, I realized that my shoes were not nearly as sexy as everyone else’s.  I realized that in order to be an effective lap dancer (or at least to look the part), I needed to get a new pair of shoes.  So I went online and bought these puppies.

And I can’t really describe how happy these ridiculous shoes make me feel.  But I do know that there’s something about their absolute frivolity that appeals to me and resonates with my inner diva.

3 thoughts on “SUPER SLUTTY SHOES

  1. I do hope as you smear you don’t fall over on your cute tush!
    I bought some cute shoes online and they didn’t fit! I know you buy all sorts of things online and wondered what the hell was wrong with my feet/body/self that I can’t go online and buy! Although, it is probably safer for the budget!!!!!!

    • Oh yes, I’m super good at tripping and falling at precisely the wrong time. Fortunately I spend a lot of time in platforms so I’m getting accustomed to them. And yet, I still took a header at unSCruz!

      • YIKES!!!!!! My feet will NOT fit in fun shoes anymore. So annoying. They ‘look’ the same, but they really are not. Can you lose weight to get smaller feet again????

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