Giving up dating

So, I have a dilemma.

I’ve given up internet dating.

This is a good thing.

Internet dating was damaging my view of men in the Bay Area.

I felt stuck in a porno, unable to escape.

Every man wanted sex – from the guy who described his ideal woman as someone without a gag reflex to the guy whose username was Luv2eatacos.

Fuck actually making a connection with someone.

This I think, is not the norm.


I mean of course men want sex.

Everyone does.

But I think there are men out there who are single, available, and NOT TOTALLY OBSESSED WITH SEX.

Let’s call them Men-Who-Can-Make-Meaningful-Connections-With-Women.

My dilemma is this:


They’re OBVIOUSLY not online.

So where do I go?

The supermarket?

The library?

Hobby shops?

Sports games?

Please, someone tell me because the only thing I hate more than giving up is giving up and doing nothing about it.

I have no intention of wallowing in misery, alone for the rest of my life.

But I also have no intention of going back online to play the nymphomaniac to men who think that women are sex objects.

Should I just leave it to serendipity or should I somehow mix and mingle and put myself out there?


11 thoughts on “Giving up dating

  1. It’s been my experience that online personalities tend to shed away the barriers of rules – in other words, there is nothing that compels people towards decency. That’s just my opinion, of course.

  2. Try a Meetup for something you have an interest in. Sierra Club hike, birdwatching group, beermaking tour…find something where you’ll have a common interest, that doesn’t involve hiding behind the mask of the internet, and get to know someone. Yes, many folks do want sex, and that is glorious, but one doesn’t have to be a pig about it.

    • Ok. So I’m trying a beer meetup. LOL. I figure guys will be there and probably girls looking to meet guys, but who cares? I’m getting out and having fun and that’s what’s important.

  3. It is truly hard to find something meaningful, especially in my part of California. They are more interested in drugs and alcohol, than sex. Even wholesome conversation is like walking into a brick wall. So, I understand what you are going through. My dilemma exactly

    • I’m glad it’s not just women having this problem. I know lots of men complain about “fake” profiles on online dating sites. Even though I’m not on any sites anymore, I believe my profiles are kept active. It’s misleading to say the least.

  4. Leave it to chance!! As soon as you “stop looking for love”, is when you find it!! I’ve done it all, and I have a particular hatred for online dating, all you have written is sooo true!! They are out there. I suggest not focusing on it, but rather, focusing on yourself. That’s been my experience.
    ps. I love your mention about the year you lived through your vagina!! I did that at burning man. Never again!!

    • LOL. I’m sure lots of women “live through their vaginas” at Burning Man. It was a unique experience. And yes, online dating is HORRID. Never again. I’m focusing less on dating and more on getting out and having fun. Hopefully that helps my wanderlust some. Cheers!

    • Well, in my opinion internet dating is a waste of time. It’s best to meet people doing other things, like biking, hiking, sampling beers or wine, etc. I recommend MeetUp. You’ll have fun AND maybe meet someone great at the same time!

  5. Maybe try speed dating or ask your friends to set you up or…just go out and talk to people. I’ve heard that Bumble is better than OKC or Tinder, but I didn’t find much difference. One way to do online is to keep your standards high and shut down any conversation that is in any way less than what you’re looking for. I’ve losing patience with dating, period. Friends first, no dates. that’s my new normal..

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