The most notable part about my weekend this past weekend is that I got smashed.
Is that even a word?
I didn’t intend to and I blame the fact that I switched from drinking beer to drinking gin about halfway through the night.
But let’s start at the beginning.
I decided to attend my first Santa Con – a party where a group of people get dressed like Santa in festive holiday attire and go en mass from one pub to the next bringing holiday spirit and cheer while consuming alcoholic beverages. I put together an appropriate outfit – black boots, fishnet tights, white tutu, red velvet corset with white maribou feather trim, and of course a Santa hat.
Our path was all laid out – first we went to Aloft Bar, then Whole Foods (who were INCREDIBLY HOSPITABLE), followed by The Monte Vista Inn, and finally landing at The Blue Pheasant.
Everyone was dressed up in various Santa garb. My favorite was a duo – a flattened grandma and the reindeer who ran her over. Perfect! Love everyone’s creativity!
I got run over by the reindeer myself… note the hoof print on my chest!
At Paul & Eddie’s, I switched from drinking beer to drinking 4 olive gin martinis.
And that’s what did me in.
By the time we got to The Blue Pheasant, I was incapable of using my phone to arrange for a Lyft so I had to get a ride home from a nice gentleman who was kind enough to offer me a ride.
And then I was too drunk to give him directions.
He had to use an app to get me home.
I’m really embarrassed to say that I actually remember farting in his car on the ride home.
Jesus, was I DRUNK!
So lesson learned: Santa Con is a marathon, not a sprint.