Despite the fact that I have no online dating presence right now, POF continues to email me with requests from men who want to meet me.
I know what you’re thinking.
You’re thinking it’s possible that there might be a good one out there.
Let me dissuade you from that notion.
In the 12 years since my divorce, I have absolutely met not a single soul online who I connected with.
Excepting a few Facebook friends.
Every time I get tempted to go online and see what’s up, I remember that guy who moved his glass so he could “see my tits better.”
Or the guy who deeply hurt my feelings because he said we had “no chemistry.”
I’ve been thinking about chemistry a lot lately.
About how deceptive it is.
Sure, I get all pie-eyed every time I see a lumberjack.
Give me a beard, broad shoulders, and a warm chest and color me happy.
But in reality, I’ve discovered that long term chemistry has very little to do with that initial physical rush of hormones, and everything to do with who that person is on the inside, which takes time to discover.
Barbara would tell me this is EXACTLY why I should wait MONTHS before getting physically involved with someone.
Take, for instance, my ex-boyfriend Luke.
Luke owned dozens of hand guns, even more knives, and he drove a truck.
He had no beard, but he lived in flannels on his days off.
Perfect man for me?
Not so much.
When times got tough, and we tried to talk it out Luke could only stare at the floor and play with his socks.
He had no ability to discuss difficult topics AT ALL.
And you know, everyone runs into the need to discuss challenging subjects.
So I say fuck chemistry.
Not that anyone is lining up outside my door for a chance to take me on a date, but I’m basically like the carpool lane on the weekend:
OPEN TO ALL.