So I’m at my gynecologist’s office getting my annual pap smear and I’m dreading it.
Imagine putting your feet in stirrups, having someone sit between your legs, insert a cold speculum, then brush your poor sensitive cervix with a bristle brush. . . all the while you are being told to relax.
So there I am, assuming the position when my doctor starts asking me questions.
Her: When was the last time you had your period?
Me: I don’t know. Maybe four months ago.
Her: Could you be pregnant?
Me: Only if you believe in immaculate conceptions.
Her: Okay. When was the last time you put in your nuvo ring?
Me: Maybe six months ago.
Her: I’m asking because I see you have a nuvo ring in right now.
Me: [blush with embarrassment]
Me: I had no idea. I forgot. . .
Just so you know, the remedy for leaving your birth control ring in for 6 months (it only lasts one month) is taking two pregnancy tests, making sure they’re negative (they were) and then putting in a new nuvo ring.
There is no remedy for the embarrassment.