Once upon a time I was a young(ish) woman working at a local university in a little part time administrative position.
The man I worked for was one of the top 10 social psychologists of the 20th century.
One day, I came in to work and told my boss that I needed to get a full time job because I was getting divorced.
And it was then that I got the best advice I’ve ever received in my life.
The professor looked at me for a moment then said, “You need some hobbies. Get out in nature. Find adventures. Volunteer for those less fortunate. Take the focus off yourself and put it where it needs to be – on your family and on other people who need your help.”
I took those words to heart.
After all, if the NFL hires this professor to give a $15,000 keynote address, who am I to scoff in the face of his advice.
I joined several non-profits.
And I started adventuring out.
I stopped focusing on the shit-show that was my divorce (don’t worry, we’re fine now) and I paid attention to all the beautiful and wonderful activities that the Bay Area provides.
In the 15 years since my divorce, I’ve only dated three men which means I’ve spent a lot of time single.
Instead of waiting for some man to show up to start living my life, I opted to start dating myself.
I took myself out with friends to all the restaurants I wanted to go to.
I brought my boys with me to movies.
I convinced family and friends to go on adventures with me.
I have not suffered for lack of a steady man in my life.
Dating yourself has its perks:
- You can do whatever you want, whenever you want.
- No one complains that it’s taking too long to get to your destination.
- No need to share the bed, you can roll for miles.
- No competitive facebooking your adventures with someone else.
In the end, I feel awfully proud of myself for living my life thoroughly without a man there to support me.
I even went to one of the most inhospitable environments known to man – the Black Rock Desert – and I lived my life there for a week.
Everyone should date themselves.
It’s a blast!