Yesterday, I hit a wall.

I literally couldn’t stop thinking about how close I came to being in an active shooter situation.

I was fuzzy.

Unfocused.

As news of the victims came out along with information on the shooter, I struggled to keep productive at work.

Images of people running for their lives filled my head.

Then a familiar face on the TV screen – a friend.

He was onstage performing with his band when the shooting started.

He had to take cover under the stage.

OMG.

Had I known his band was playing, would I have stayed to see him perform?

Would I have been there for the bullets during the encore?

Thoughts of how close I came to being yards away from an active shooter filled my head.

It was all I could do to make it through my day.

I searched for something benign to think about.

Star Trek costumes.

Comic Con costumes.

I’m going to Comic Con next month and so maybe helping to plan a costume might help.

Hint:  It didn’t.

Finally, I broke down and called the new guy.

He updated me on his family.

The shooter was a local teenager.

The new guy’s family is also local.

His kids knew the shooter.

It was like a bomb went off.

All the threads leading up to the shooting – dating a Gilroy local, being a festival goer who escaped the tragedy yet somehow being inextricably affected by it – started to tangle around me and I’ve got to say, I am struggling to process what happened.

Please send hugs and peaceful vibes my way.

I know there’s no short cut to heal from this kind of tragedy.

But I could really use a nice warm snuggle to make me feel safe and secure.

It’s been a rough two days.