How to prepare for a date

As a woman, there are certain things I do to get ready for a date.  I’ll admit, I go a little overboard.  But you’ve got to be prepared for everything so it pays to take your time and go through certain rituals.

Take for instance, my date for Valentine’s Day.

Now as far as I’m concerned, V-Day is a day just like every other day.  So don’t think that this is some SPECIAL ritual because of the holiday. No, this is my normal psychotic ritual.

  • Shave.  This one is mandatory.  Don’t want to be caught with any unsightly hair.  Also allows me to participate in post-date snuggling activities without being prickly.
  • Wax my business.  Or in my case, laser it off so it’s not there in the first place.  Allows for… ahem.. you know.  On the rare chance I decide I like him enough to do it.  It’s all about option, folks.
  • Botox.  Okay, I don’t do this with every date, but I do it every 6 months and it just happened to land on Valentine’s Day.  Basically, I do this because I’m 45 and vain and don’t want to look wrinkly and old. $170
  • Blow Dry.  This one I feel is mandatory.  My date made a comment that he liked my hair wavy so I went to the salon and got it styled the same way.  Do not underestimate how much of a boost you can get from a good blow out.  $50
  • Makeup.  I think I spent about 45 minutes doing my makeup.  Gotta look as good as possible.  Too bad there’s no makeup that takes off 20 pounds, though.

And there you have it – a $220 pre-date ritual.

And yes, I know.  None of these things matter because in the end it’s all about CONNECTING with the other person.  But I have to imagine that a little va-va-va-voom can’t hurt.

Of course, now you know how crazy I am when it comes to dates.

C-R-A-Z-Y !

 

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