Lately, I’m hating dating more than loving it. In part because of my horrific experience speed dating, but also because of crappy one-on-one dates, like my date with the guy who doubled up on his dates for the night. Ugh. It’s enough to make a girl run for the safety of spinsterhood and prolonged abstinence.
But then there have been some good dates that I’ve been on. Some dates which I thoroughly enjoyed and thought my date did too. I would have sworn I was going to see them again. But sadly that was not the case. Instead, I heard nothing further from these men after our dates. No “How are you,” no “I had a great time,” no “Let’s get together next week.”
And don’t think I didn’t pick up my phone once or twice, trying to will it to ring.
Clearly, these men figured out sooner than I that we were not compatible.
Now I know it’s not that I have an awful personality. Or that I’m not a nice person. So what’s the reason?
I’ve taken to assuming the only thing that’s left….
…. I have an awful body.
It’s too soft. It’s too curvy, It’s no toned enough. It’s just a bad body.
If you only knew how much I beat myself up over this.
So when my friends praise me for being so confident, I scoff inside and think “If they only knew my inner dialogue rips me to shreds.”
My BFF pointed out the other day during our hike, the only thing wrong with me is that I keep asking what’s wrong with me. And she has a point. Ultimately, there is nothing wrong with me.
But the truth is it used to be a lot easier to meet quality men. It used to be a lot easier to meet someone with whom I had chemistry.
So when I meet a decent guy with whom I feel chemistry, it sucks to get rejected.
It also sucks to blog about my “great dates” and then have them go nowhere.
But c’est la vie. Such is life.