I’m just not down with that

So there I am, texting someone new when he says to me, “But anal sex we have to do.”

Mind you, this is our first conversation EVER.

So I’m quietly reflecting on my response when he follows up with, “Okay, I am gross.  I get it.”

I say the first thing that comes to mind, “No, not gross.  Just oddly premature.”

Let’s face it, anal sex is a very dominating activity and requires trust and skill, two things I don’t have with a COMPLETE STRANGER.

Then I got a little judgmental and said, “It’s interesting.  We’re in our 40s.  Not getting younger or prettier and yet your perfect match is an anal sex fiend.  I’m a little intimidated.

And the truth is I am a little intimidated.

I mean, if anal sex is the first thing he mentions to a TOTAL STRANGER, chances are it’s important to him.

Very important.

I mention that there are ALL THESE OTHER THINGS that go into a good hookup.

He tries to pass off his premature request for anal as something substantial, “I am looking for someone that shares my ideas of sex and fun and passion.”

Me too, but I’m not putting it out in front of chemistry, connection and spark.

All this is to say that this guy managed to talk his way out of getting laid by simply being a total buffoon about anal sex.

What a thing to ask for from a stranger!

Does he even know there’s a nice, textured, self-lubricating hole designed for his pleasure?

Le duh.

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