Two cents

No, I’ve never been to Burning Man, his profile said.

“But as an ad exec, I’ve been all over the world, held photoshoots with supermodels. . .”

Screech!

What?

Supermodels?

Oh HELL no!

Swipe LEFT!

Just one of the profiles I came across on Tinder.

Oh Tinder, how you ENTERTAIN me.

FYI, women don’t like to hear that a potential date has been with supermodels.

The only thing we like WORSE are plastic surgeons and gynecologists.

Here’s a few tips for the men out there:

  1. DON’T post profiles pics with ex-girlfriends, sisters, cropped out women, women in general ,and MODELS MOST SPECIFICALLY!
  2. DON’T create a username like “luvs2eatacos” or “bigboi4u.”
  3. DON’T trash talk her sports team. You’re not her buddy. You’re not her pal.  Be nice.  Bring YOUR A-game.
  4. DON’T say you attended the “School of Hard Knocks.” Everyone has. It’s a given.  No one skates through life unscathed.  This makes you sound like a whiner.
  5. DON’T say you’re fresh out of a LTR. Everyone knows there’s a wild oats sowing period of time following a breakup.
  6. DO let your freak flag fly. I want to know what makes you YOU!
  7. DO post pics of your dog. I love that shit.  I’m on the fence about cat pictures, however.
  8. DO post pics of your travels, but BE IN THE PHOTO. I know what Notre Dame looks like.
  9. DO use good grammar and punctuation. It’s the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
  10. DO upload new photos from time to time to see what women respond to. I love it when my old matches upload new photos.

Just my $0.02.

One thought on “Two cents

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