I’ve learned a few lessons already from the corona virus, like always keep a supply of tampons in the house.
You never know when your peri-menopausal uterus will start functioning again and surprise you.
Of course, I’ll take a surprise period over a SURPRISE BABY any day.
I learned something else.
I want to own chickens.
Yes, I live on an acre and there’s plenty of space for chickens.
I have a thing about eggs.
I’m worried about running out of eggs and something about running out of eggs makes me panic (just a little).
I also discovered that I want to hoard toilet paper and propane.
But part of my paranoia about getting my period while sheltering at home is that I’m scared I’ll go through toilet paper too quickly.
So back to the chickens. . .
I want some.
And despite the fact that right now I worry that I’m DESTINED to wind up alone and single, I will say this:
The key to my heart?
My own chicken coop.
In addition to being the perfect man.
More than anything, I want to roll up my sleeves, breakout some 2’ x 4’s and wire cutters and BUILD a chicken coop.
I dream about waking up in the morning and picking out fresh eggs from my backyard chickens.
It’s funny what we fantasize about.
I dream of farms.