Remorse

I’ve officially been reunited with my birth family longer than I was separated from them.

I met them when I was twenty two and I am now forty six.

That’s twenty four years of reunion.

Unfortunately, I’ve discovered over the years that I haven’t been as close to them as I’d like to be.

I deeply regret taking my great-grandmother and my great-grandfather for granted and not talking to them about family history when I had the chance.

This pandemic has put things in a different perspective and the first thing I did when I realized that I had gone a month into isolation without a single conversation with my birth family was text my birth mom.

“I’ve been thinking about something and hoping I can share with you. I’d like for us to talk more.  Or text.  We go too long in between visits and I miss you,” I told her.

We proceeded to catch up on the latest in a phone call and promised to talk again soon – a promise I intend to keep.

To solidify my intention, I added my birth mom to my phone favorites so that a call is only one screen away.

Then I attempted to reach my birth father, who I also miss a great deal.

There are others as well – aunts and uncles, cousins and siblings who I need to stay in touch with better.

I’m not sure how to begin except to just start picking up the phone more and calling them.

I certainly hope I survive this pandemic, so that I can make some changes to my lifestyle and start including my birth family in more of what I do.

Because I’m suddenly aware of how much I miss them and our family gatherings when we all got together to celebrate just being related to one another.

I missed out on knowing my grandparents and I hope I can take advantage of the time I have left to actually build close relationships with the rest of my birth family.

I miss them tons!