Back Scratch

The key to my heart isn’t a well-cooked meal.

It’s not even a good glass of wine.


The key to my heart is a good back scratch.


Take your massage and add some nice scrubby, scratchy mitts and run them all over my back and I’m in heaven.

Guys, they think massages are where it’s at.

But I’m here to tell you a good back scratch beats all.

My son Duncan has inherited my love of back scratches.

He comes into my room sometimes three or four times a day to get a back scratch.

The good thing about back scratches is that they only need to last about 30 seconds, so for those of you who have the attention span of a gnat, you’re in good shape here.

If you ask me what the perfect day is, it involves a drive along the ocean during sunset, a good bottle of wine, a juicy burger and a BACK SCRATCH.

‘Nuf said.