Smoke Show

I have decided my next costume will be titled “SMOKE SHOW.”

For a very obvious reason:

This is the tank I’m wearing with THIS delightful long fringe skirt:

Add a black high-waisted bikini and THIS lovely layered necklace and some boots and you got a lewk.

Please note:  Yes, I am aware I am not a smoke show.  But at Burning Man, I always FEEL like one, so I’m just gonna go with it.

Hold On

Super pink full moon last night, did you see it?

Supposedly, a pink moon signifies new birth, the promise of young buds in spring, and growth.

There’s been ZERO developments in my love life, not surprisingly.

We are in the middle of a pandemic and surviving is much more important than making a connection.

Although I am flirting with an Irishman in Scotland, a Brit in the United States, and not one but TWO AUSTRALIANS.

I have a SERIOUS NEED FOR DISTRACTION.

Sheltering-at-home has been harder for me this 5th week, mostly because my kids are suffering.

They clearly want to go out and be with friends and they can’t and it’s making them a little depressed.

I was feeling kind of lousy when a Facebook reminder popped up:

Virtual burner party, with a performance from my favorite bawdy songstress, who just happened to release a new video, The Unicorn Song.

[As a member of her Patreon, I got to see the video in preview so since it’s not on the internet, I’m just posting a link to all her OTHER videos which are equally depraved and irreverent.]

And just like that, my night improved.

We are not alone.

And we are all here for each other.

Hold on.

 

 

 

Armchair travels

It’s been a CRAZY roller coaster month, has it not?

With everyone settling into social distancing and shelter-at-home, it’s become SO FRIGGING EASY TO SEXT IT’S LAUGHABLE.

Not that it wasn’t easy to begin with but I’m noticing that all of a sudden EVERYONE is doing it barely a scant three minutes into texting.

It’s as if we’re all cooped up and our frustrations are building to a fever pitch.

And maybe that’s what’s happening.

Too long going without.

Apparently, there are porn subscriptions being given out for free due to the extraordinary times we are living in.

Personally, I choose to do something more productive with my time and so I’ve started watching YouTube videos on speaking Swedish.

Because I’ve started learning it, so I might as well keep going.

But between you and I, I’m loving this new passport feature of Tinder where you can meet people all over the world.

Breakfast in Paris, lunch in Sydney and dinner in New York City.

Not a bad way to spend a day.

 

Fleur Delacour

Remember I had a sudden and instant desire to splurge on a Fleur Delacour hat:

Well the dress I have to go with it, while somewhat appropriate (it’s the right length and color) is not suitable for Burning Man:

There’s no way I’m wearing a velvet dress in the desert.

I’m not COMPLETELY nuts.

I need to make it a bit more burner-esque.

So I bought a light blue latex (or perhaps PVC vinyl) skirt to wear instead:

And I searched for a light blue camisole – something rather lightweight, to be honest.

I came across two VERY expensive options:

But there’s NO WAY I’m gonna spend even $50 on a shirt for Burning Man, the potential to get ruined it far too likely.

Plus, now that I look at it, the color is totally off.

Instead, I got this cami:

And this cape:

Fleur and her cohorts wear black nylons (I’ll substitute some black fishnet tights) and black and white saddle shoes:

Apart from needing a wand, I think I’ve got a Burning Man version of the outfit I can wear out.

I could live like that

If you must know, I’m thriving with these work at home conditions.

I see my kids and interact with them SO MUCH MORE THAN I USED TO.

That alone makes me happy.

But also, I’m not struggling with staying at home because I have a lot of people in the house to occupy myself with.

I’m not nearly alone, like some people are.

And I’m scared of contracting COVID-19 so that makes staying at home A LOT EASIER.

Years ago, I would have sworn that I was an extrovert and that sheltering in place would have been hard on me.

But given the ease with which I’ve taken to it (perhaps in part by gaining 10 hours a week not commuting), I’m wondering if my older self is not just a tad more introverted than my 20 year old self.

Maybe it’s just middle age setting in.

Oh, don’t get me wrong.

I miss my friends and CAN’T WAIT to see them.

But driving my big truck, paying for gas, fighting for a (big enough) parking spot – I could easily give it all up.

It makes me think of Amsterdam in the Netherlands, where people get around by bike.

I could live like that.

Easily.

What I’ve been scoping on the internet

I can relate:

This. . .

Yaaaasssss:

And have I mentioned how much I love Scott Eastwood (a fellow burner)?

I am like this dog:

Leaving you with a peaceful feeling:

Fruit basket

I don’t think I’ve ever told my most favorite story about my father.

I had just given birth to my eldest son Duncan, after suffering through the stillbirth of my son Douglas.

My ex-husband and I were at home with our newborn and I was so intense following Duncan’s birth that I barely slept for a week.

I think I had maybe 8 hours total sleep in 7 days.

It’s was awful and exhausting.

I thought I had to be perfect and soothe the baby every time he cried.

My parents came over to visit and I BURST INTO TEARS.

Everything was wrong.

Nothing was working out right.

I was a terrible mother because I couldn’t manage my little family.

That’s how I felt.

The feelings I was having manifested themselves in a wailing cry.

My dad asked what was wrong.

I simply told him I was upset because all the beautiful fruit I bought before going in to the hospital had spoiled and wasted.

And it was true, I was VERY upset about that fruit.

My dad took it upon himself to go to the store (and I don’t think my dad has grocery shopped EVER since my mom always does it) and he picked out the JUCIEST, RIPEST, MOST BEAUTIFUL FRUIT you can imagine.

He bought two of everything they had in the store, I think, from bananas to pineapples, apples to plums.

He brought a MASSIVE basket of fruit over our house and presented me with it.

Which started me crying ALL OVER AGAIN because it was just the SWEETEST gesture.

I’ll never forget the kindness he showed me that day.

If you know my father, you know he’s not prone to demonstrate love through traditional channels.

This is how he chose to tell me he loved me and that everything was going to be okay.

And it was.

Boho black lace outfit

I’ve been working on a black lace dress outfit for Burning Man on account of how much I liked my white lace dress outfit that I brought with me last year.

The premise is pretty simple:

Take a transparent lace dress and put a high-waisted bikini on underneath it.

Add a few accessories, like a belt, and you’re good to go.

So I bought a black lace dress off the internet:

And then I bought a bikini to go with the dress:

What I really want to add to it now is a bunch of bangles, a skinny bohemian scarf, AND A FAUX FUR VEST.

Plus some OUTRAGOUS boho earrings.

I realize that in all likelihood, the Burn will be cancelled this year and I will have nowhere to wear my outfits (new or old) due to social distancing, but it makes me feel good to be working on something.

Needing comfort

Today I went grocery shopping at 6 am.

If you know me well, then you know that I typically don’t do anything at 6 am besides sleep.

And I never grocery shop.

I always use Instacart or Safeway delivery.

I was wearing a mask and gloves along with my velour striped elephant pants and pineapple tank top.

Hey, who needs to be fashionable in a pandemic?

I changed out of my shopping clothes to be safe and as I put on a blue maxi dress, I lamented that I don’t have comfy sweats to wear.

I remedied that RIGHT AWAY and bought a few cozy pajama pants and a velour track suit off of Amazon:

Because when working from home, COMFORT IS KEY!

So there you have it – nice, warm pajamas for work (I’ll slip into something more appropriate for virtual meetings, though).

To be honest, I’m kind of proud of myself, not for buying sweat clothes, but for doing grocery shopping for the family – something I HATE to do unless it’s online.

But challenging times call for special measures.

It’s going to get worse before it gets any better.

And here is a video with tips on how to keep the novel corona virus out of your house.