Throw Back Thursday

I see everyone doing this on Facebook so I’m going to do it on my blog and show you a really embarrassing photo of myself as a teenager.  I’d just won a speech contest for the Toastmaster’s and was posing with the school principal.  I wish someone had told me to take down the sail that was my bangs.  Sigh.

And another, from when I was a young kid and my parents chopped my hair off.

 

And an even younger picture with my sister.

Me and Pilots

Honestly.

You put up one profile pic of you flying a plane and suddenly every single pilot from here to Auburn is asking you out.

Today I had an impromptu date with Ryan, a commercially rated, multi engine pilot.  He owns his own twin engine plane.  Impressive.  He also has a fifth wheel.  Color me happy.  And a speedboat.  Pretty amazing.

On paper, he looks exactly like the man for me.  I wasn’t even troubled that I stood a good two inches taller than him.  He was handsome and articulate and very very fun to talk to.

He asked me out of Tuesday.  I love when  man asks you out for the net date while you’re still on a date. Such nice positive feedback.

I’m not sure there was that strong of a connection but I enjoyed his company enough to say yes to a second date.

I’ll have to brush up on my pilot lingo before then.

Jessica Rabbit

Sometimes, wisdom falls from the lips of your friends like ripe apples off a tree.

I was at a party this weekend when my friend Anne took the time to voice what she thinks the problem is with me and online dating.

I’m a type.

Specifically, I’m the blonde and big-breasted type which means that instead of interacting with me as a human being, men are making assumptions about my personality and character and reacting to their perception of me.

Wow!

How true is that?

It may take more or less time, depending on the man, but eventually they all seem to gravitate towards my appearance.

And what can I say, I’ve learned to play up my assets and therefore I am partially responsible for being treated like the cartoon character Jessica Rabbit.

I’ve never heard it put so succinctly.

When you’re perceived as a “type” maybe you have to work extra hard to combat the stereotype that your physical presence resembles.

Do I do that?

Not really.

Just look at my profile pictures:  all busty, filled with glorious blonde hair, and in suggestive poses:

It makes me think that even though I get a lot of right swipes on my profile, I might be better served to tone down my profile and emphasize my less-stereotypical attributes than play them up.

No more low-cut cleavage shots.

No more boudoir pictures.

Just me.

It would make for a good experiment and I have a photographer friend who may just help me select different photos.

Wish me luck!

Belly dancing – 1, Michelle – 0

red bellyI took a belly dancing lesson from a Stanford Medical student.

I’m not kidding…. Alma is a phenomenal professional belly dancer AND a medical student at Stanford AT THE SAME TIME.

I know. It blows the mind.

In any case, she warmed us up by having us roll all over the wall, arms moving up and down, caressing the wall.

Then we got down to business.

Apparently, belly dancing is accomplished through amazing glute work.

We sat on the floor and practiced isolating and clenching our glute muscles – first the left, then the right, then both together.

I confess, even though I have an ample size derriere, I had a difficult time isolating my two glute muscles.

They both wanted to clench at the same time.

I became frustrated. I thought this was about shaking my hips. I can do that. What’s the big deal with all these butt muscles?

In the end, I felt like I needed A LOT more practice and just in general a lot more dancing experience.

I want to be graceful and poetic, not jerky and disjointed.

As it stands, you are unlikely to see me in a belly dancing outfit, dancing my ass off for anyone other than a significant other. I’m just not skilled enough at this time.

So the score was Belly dancing – 1, Michelle – 0.

IMG_8138 IMG_8139

 

Tattoo

That lingerie haul was fun!

I’m reminded of how much pleasure I get from simple things like a scrap of fabric fashioned into clothing for your nethers.

And speaking of getting pleasure from simple things, it’s been YEARS since I got a tattoo.

It used to be that every time I’d go to Reno, I’d come back with a new tattoo.

HOWEVER, two things have sidelined my tattoo adventure:

  1. I got a polyamory-like tattoo BY ACCIDENT thinking it meant “infinite love” which in a way is true.  It’s also ironically appropriate for me at this time in my life when I’m single and dating.
  2. I also got a raging case of cellulitis in my right foot when I got my last tattoo because I was taking nude pictures of myself in my sister’s hot tub and I got my foot wet, wet, wet.n  My foot turned into a balloon and swelled up like you wouldn’t BELIEVE!

Seeing as how it’s been a few years, it seems like now is as good a time as any to get back on the tattoo bandwagon.

I’m intrigued by a few designs – phoenix, flowers, dream catchers and mandalas.

So I’m wondering what you think about me getting a new tattoo.  Should I do it and if so, what should I get?

Mini Lingerie Haul

How long has it been since I had a LINGERIE HAUL?

It’s been a while, that’s how long.

My last haul was a bunch of lingerie for my boudoir photo shoot in 2014.

SIX YEARS of restraint and moderation!

Well, that went out the window today.

Basically SOMEONE (and I’m not saying who) is seeing me naked and (you know me) I want to be slowly stripped of my sexy lingerie piece by piece.

I fell in love with this yellow set but couldn’t justify the $100 price tag on it:

So I did a search for yellow lingerie and I came across this lovely set for a quarter of the price:

I also picked up a lingerie set in red:

And a white bra (since my current favorite white bra is looking a little grey from all the washings):

I did find the lovely neon pink lingerie set which I wanted to buy but since it’s a PUSH UP bra, the largest cup size it comes in is a C-cup!

Imagine me stuffing my G’s into a C-cup!

I think not.

So there you have it. . .

. . . a mini lingerie haul for me to thrill my partner.

Help!

I’m on Tinder.

This is no surprise to you.

The other day I got a message from a guy:

Hold the phone!

I get the “I like the curves” comment but am I fucking cross eyed in my pictures?

Seriously?

WTF!?

Maybe he said it just to get a rise out of me because I’m half tempted to respond with:

WHAT CROSSED EYES!?

Instead I’m ignoring his comment but taking to my blog to vent.

Crossed eyes?!

If I thought my eyes were crossed on my photos would I post them?

I think not!

Who wants to look like an imbecile in their photos.

What a moron!

Oh dear, do my eyes cross?

Is there something to what he’s saying?

So I’m asking you guys, do my eyes cross in one of these pictures?

Which one?

Help!

Grand Reunion vs Tinder

It’s my 25th college reunion this year and I’m being heavily recruited to join the Leadership Team.

Plenty of opportunities to volunteer, my friends.

Not as many opportunities to get paid for your side hustle.

I’m trying very hard to avoid volunteering for YET ANOTHER cause.

But it’s proving to be challenging because I am dating a fellow grad who graduated 10 years ahead of me in 1985.

So he’s celebrating his 35th reunion.

My association with my college is not as strong as some people.

I was a transfer student who lived at home while I was in college.

I mean, I know a few people but I keep in touch with the ones I want to through Facebook already.

I don’t need a reunion in order to connect with them again.

What WOULD be helpful is networking.

But since I love my job and the company I work for, that’s less important in terms of my job mobility and more important in terms of meeting single men.

Yes, I said it.

The ONLY reason I’ll go to reunion is to meet men.

Even though my dance card is really full right now, there’s no one special person taking up my time and I’m still open to the possibility of finding someone.

And it would be a hell of a lot nicer to tell people we met at Grand Reunion rather than Tinder, no?

Blow Me Down

I love THIS German Shepherd quilt:

This made me giggle – Rock, paper, scissors. from r/funny

A very unusual buttplug

I want THIS top (and THOSE boobs):

 

This made me laugh my ass off!  What a cutie!

The PERFECT nude lip . . .

 

A brilliant and haunting performance:

 

El Pulpo and Skibidi:

 

God, don’t you love Oreos?

 

“Vanity is only a sin because a woman who believes she deserves good things is harder to commodify.” Glori B.