Anti-Valentine’s Day 2021

Valentine’s Day is coming up and you know what that means?

Nothing.

I’m not celebrating this year.

Per my usual, I am not participating in this holiday.

Not even to participate in Table for Onesie, which can’t take place because of Covid-19.

I’m not even going to buy my kids shitty sugar cookies with clever messages written on them like:

Meh

Fuck Off

Next

I HATE this fucking holiday.

I’m expecting a round of “look at my perfect love story” posts to hit Facebook from all my coupled up friends.

Okay, maybe not all my coupled up friends.

Some of them detest the holiday as much as I do.

Screw you, VD!

Sweden at Christmastime

I was chatting with a friend about travel the other day and I happened to mention my 2018 trip to Sweden.

Yes, I went to Sweden in the winter and it was GLORIOUS!

Of course, I was so afraid of being cold, seeing as how I was born and raised in sunny, warm California.

So I brought long johns, boots, scarf, hat, snow gear and a really long heavy puffer jacket.

The end result?

I sweated my way through my vacation.

I’d go outside all bundled up only to enter a building with the heat on BLAST.

I’d strip off layers to cool off, only to have to put them back on again when I went outside.

I was perpetually HOT, not cold, as I’d projected.

I joked that I must be going into menopause with all the hot flashes I had.

Of course, my memories of Sweden are more than just the cold and the heat.

I remember sweet shops and bins filled with candy at the supermarket.

There was salted licorice gum (it tastes exactly as it sounds) and candy that resembled rocks.

I remember a glorious smörgåsbord dinner with friends at The Grand Hôtel – complete with champagne and caviar.

And no one, I mean NO ONE, does Christmas like the Scandinavians.

There was glögg, a kind of spiced mulled beverage which is served hot with ginger crisps.

There were lighted ada candlabras in all the windows and colorful dala horses on display:

And a light snowfall made everything seem magical.

I’d like to transport myself there now and get away from all the strife going on here at home.

Sweden at Christmas is much favorable to California during the next few weeks.

Just the girls

Sorry for the missed posts.

I’ve been a little busy.

First there was a last minute kessel run to Reno to visit my sister (which I made in under 20 parsecs).

Then there was playing catch up with my email inbox because of aforementioned trip to Reno.

I had a great time though.

My sister made me HOMEMADE chicken soup.

If that doesn’t mean she loves me, I don’t know what does.

I got to spend oodles of time with her kitties and I have to admit, touching fur is SOOOO RELAXING!

We should make a habit of this – getting together every so often for a total slacker weekend.

Just the girls.

There’s something uniquely relaxing and rejuvenating about having no agenda and just going with the flow for a while.

We played gin rummy.

We watched Hook which Lisa and I both agree is our favorite movie (actually, mine is The Goonies, but Hook is #2).

I’m back home refreshed.

Ready for another week!

My first joke in Swedish

All I wanted for Christmas was a boyfriend.

Santa did not deliver.

Barring that, I did have a backup list of Christmas presents:

A Masterclass pass and Rosetta Stone unlimited.

What could be better than learning from the experts on topics ranging from international cuisine to negotiation, to photography and style.

And of course you all know how much I’m enjoying learning Swedish.

Imagine getting access to ALL Rosetta Stone language languages?

Wowza!

Well the good news is that I was gifted some money with which I can apply toward the cost of Masterclass and Rosetta Stone.

In celebration of my soon-to-be trilingual status, I made my very first joke in Swedish:

I was on a walk with a Swedish friend and I asked him how many times he’s attended “SEXSABILITY” the sex-positive festival which takes place in Sweden.

“Six,” he replied.

“Sex,” I joked. [sex is ‘six’ in Swedish]

Ha ha ha ha!

I never said it was a good joke!

Reason to quit online dating #147

If you’re curious what turned me off to online dating. . .besides over a decade of failure. . . I would point to “Ben.”:

This profile nicely sums up what I hate about online dating:

THIS KIND OF MAN

Surely there’s some misogyny going on here, what with him calling women “slut faces.”

I just realized that I’m no longer surprised when I come across profiles like these and that it’s time to get off dating apps.

I’ll just have to put my efforts elsewhere and not linger too long thinking about how much time I wasted on online dating apps.

I did meet The Swede and Big Joe.

And Nate – all who have become good friends.

So obviously there are some decent people using these apps.

But in my estimation, making three friends over 15 years of online dating doesn’t constitute a great success rate.

Out with the old, in with the new.

Volunteering.

Burning Man.

Friends.

These are all great ways to get out and mingle with good people who aren’t going to call you “slut face” before they’ve even met you.

Pray for peace

Friends and fellow misfits,

I’m just going to warn you now that 2021 is carrying on in the same ilk as 2020.

At least for me.

A loved one has been admitted to the hospital with a life-threatening illness.

My mom’s defibrillator is still malfunctioning.

And oh yeah, a confederate flag was flown at the Capitol on Wednesday.

I’d say 2021 is off to a disappointing start.

On the other hand, Georgia turned blue and Congress is now primed to promote a democratic agenda.

So it’s not all bad.

Eight days into the new year and there’s SO MUCH already.

I’m not saying I’m a hot mess, but I’m sure as hell not as composed as I usually am.

But then, who is?

I don’t want to end this post on a sour note.

I’m actually optimistic about our future and the direction the United States is heading in.

I pray we come together as fellow citizens and work through our differences amiably.

Whether we supported Trump or Biden.

We’re in this together.

Pray for peace!

New Year’s Resolutions

I’ve had it with 2020!

What a year!

I’m so glad it’s behind us.

I’ve been giving some serious thought to life improvements that I want to see in 2021.

To begin with, I downloaded Acorn, a spare change savings tool to help me spend less money and invest more.

AND TO THAT END, I also downloaded Robinhood, so I can invest in stocks.

It’s funny how something as simple as improving one’s finances can seem like such a steep hill to climb when you don’t have the resources.

Well, my friend Nadine was the one who started me on it.

Nadine is a tax accountant and she convinced me that it’s time to start investing.

Not just in my retirement account – which is on track – but also to make extra money.

Seriously, I LOVE my Strawberry Dress but I could’ve spent the money in a better way by investing in Tesla, or Apple.

Anything, really.

The other New Year’s resolution I have is to stop aging.

That’s right, I’m sick and tired of the wrinkles developing on my face.

I’ve been following some TikTok dermatologists and I’ve picked up a few tips from them:  including a regimen to lighten dark spots, even out skin tone, and diminish fine lines and wrinkles: Differin Gel for deep pore cleansing, 10% kojic acid for improving sun spots, 10% azelaic acid for improving and evening out skin tone, hyaluronic acid for hydration, and retinol for all the little wrinkles showing up on my face.

My final resolution is to spend half the time I spent looking for a mate on getting in shape.

I plan to totally ignore my Tinder and Bumble accounts and instead focus on healthy eating habits with my sister on our mutual Optavia diet.

Every time I get the urge to reach out and text a strange man I met online, I’m going to INSTEAD spend some time checking out my investments, researching new opportunities, or going for a walk.

I also made a resolution to improve my friendships by focusing on being supportive, caring, and available.

Seeing as how I won’t be online using Bumble or Tinder, that should provide me with plenty of time to focus on the people I love who mean everything to me.

And that’s the end of my New Year’s resolutions for 2021.

Wish me luck!

Velvet dresses

In the last month, I’ve purchased three velvet outfits.

An electric blue velvet jumpsuit:

A canary yellow short-sleeve velvet dress.

And this stunning pink sleeveless velvet dress:

My inspiration for the pink dress came from Instagram:

That’s right, I took one look at that photo and said to myself, maybe I can wear a similar dress and look beautiful, like the model.

Of course what looks truly outstanding in the photo is her cleavage.

I’m not sure why all of a sudden I have a hankering to wear pink.

Between my new pink velvet dress and the backup I bought just in case the first one doesn’t work out, AND the strawberry dress, I have pink coming out the wazoo!

Done with that

I need to rethink my approach to meeting men.

I’ve been relying HEAVILY on online dating applications to introduce me to people, yet so very few of the men I meet become friends.

My success rate is seriously DOWN IN THE DUMPS right now.

Obviously, with my track record of online dating being so poor, it’s hard to understand why I continue to try my hand at it.

The answer is simple:  It makes me FEEL like I’m accomplishing something.

I’m meeting men, though they’re not right for me, and what more can I do besides make an effort to get to know single available men.

The problem is that men are easy to come by and the slightest red flag sends me running.

I know I’m guilty of not investing as much as I should on a first date because it’s real easy to arrange another first date with another acceptable man.

But if you stand at the end of that long road, and look back – it’s a rather uninteresting and somewhat painful journey.

Particularly when you had no idea you’d be living so much of your adult life in an uncoupled up state.

I like being single when the alternative is being with someone who doesn’t make me happy.

But when the alternative is love, I’m 100% for leaving singlehood behind.

I’m not sure why finding someone who makes me happy is taking so long.

Going forward into 2021, I’ve decided to lay off the online dating websites for a while.

Not because I’m giving up, but because I recognize a stagnant pattern when I see one.

Now, in order for me to meet a man, he’s going to have to be the one who is looking.

Because I’m done with that.

2020 Costumes

2020 was a pretty slow year, as far as socializing goes.

No burner parties, no social gatherings.

Just sheltering in place.

And while I sheltered in place, here are the outfits I worked on in 2020:

My vinyl Velma costume, complete with red vinyl skirt and orange knee socks.

My Fleur Delacour costume from Harry Potter.

My smokeshow costume – to be worn at Burning Man 2021 (hopefully).

My witchy woman costume, worn for the Micro Burn (the one time I did go out).

Who doesn’t love themselves some Spaceballs?  Here is my Barf costume for Burning Man 2021.

My Egyptian costume, just a fun outfit for Burning Man.

My red sheer dress outfit.  I’ve got all the accessories, now do I have the balls to wear it?

Wednesday Addams, because she’s a bad ass bitch!

Pretty Woman costume, because I just couldn’t help myself.

Cher from Clueless, I bought two versions of the same costume, only one fit.  So my cousin Jennifer got the one that was too small.

Miss Piggy – only my most EPIC Halloween costume EVER!

An electric blue velvet jumpsuit, because you can never own too  much velvet!

The strawberry dress.  I’m so in love.  Enough said.

So maybe I didn’t work on as many outfits as I would have if covid had not happened, but I worked on a tidy bunch of costumes and I think they turned out great.

Now I just need to take pictures in them.