Ariana Grande meets Tank Girl

I’m going to tell you an old story.

I went to the unSCruz festival in Santa Cruz in May of 2017.

I didn’t go alone.

I brought The Swede with me.

Because I had a guest with me, I went nuts planning my outfits, including all my nighttime attire.

I bought this black, strappy teddy to wear to sleep, similar to this:

You know, to TEMPT The Swede.

So there I am, at night, in a tent, a little bit tipsy, in the dark, trying to get into this strappy black teddy.

I could not for the life of me figure out how to put it on.

And The Swede was watching, which made me feel EXTRA awkward.

Also?

It was freezing cold, so it seemed like a poor idea to sleep in next to nothing.

In the end, I scrapped my black lingerie plans and put on all the warm clothes I had INCLUDING a full length faux fur jacket.

Yeah, it was THAT cold.

I’m telling all of you this because I actually CONSIDERED getting the rave star bikini top for my Ariana Grande meets Tank Girl costume despite the fact that it’s probably designed for a C-cup or smaller:

Then I remembered how bad I am at figuring out how to put on strappy lingerie.

So I’ve decided that I won’t be wearing a star bikini top to Burning Man.

I will HOWEVER buy one of these to wear over whatever top I decide on (most likely a black bikini halter top from my current collection of swim suits):

It goes nicely with my pseudo Tank Girl theme, don’t you think?

Bad Ass

My parents, and in particular my father, don’t fully approve of my involvement with Burning Man.

Over a shared meal, my father called it a “cult.”

And he’s said REPEATEDLY that he can’t wait until this “phase” of my life is over.

Oh really?

You object to me finding something fulfilling in my life that adds value and provides learning, leadership and growth opportunities?

How interesting!

I’m a kinder person because of Burning Man.

I’m more responsible with resources.

I’ve learned to appreciate diversity and embrace people from all backgrounds.

Burning Man has helped me along the path of consciousness as I develop into a fully actualized human being.

You can make jokes about the Orgy Dome, Slutgarden, and Pussy Portrait Studio.

You can call it a “playground for adults.”

But it’s also a global movement to be kinder and gentler to your neighbors.

It’s the expression of difficult and challenging concepts through art and music and community.

And it’s all-inclusive.

Nowhere do I feel more accepted and more seen than on the playa.

I have words for my critical father who is judging the way I live my life by the standards of his 90-year old values:

It’s not a phase

You just raised a bad ass.

Boobalicious

I’m a woman who wears lots of dresses.

I mean, I have jeans and slacks and stuff but most of the time I’m in skirts or a dress.

I decided it was time to buy some new pants and at the top of my list to get is a pair of camouflage pants.

I found a pretty cool pair for cheap on Fashion Nova:

But when I went to buy them, I got a Prop 65 warning that the PANTS contained something CARCINOGENIC in them.

How can they even sell carcinogenic pants to people?

I don’t understand.

So I scrapped that idea and decided to buy slightly more expensive camo pants from Forever 21 which are non-carcinogenic:

Overall, this is the look I’m going for:

Of course, I’ll have to wear a more substantial top since stuffing my G’s into a tiny star-shaped bikini top is likely to produce a very boobalicious result.

I’m not sure if there will be a 2021 burn in Black Rock Desert but I’m keeping my wardrobe up-to-date so that I can easily pack and be ready.

At first, I thought I’d accessorize it with a camo helmet fit with devil horns á la Henck Roling from The Big Flower Fight, but then I thought of Ariana Grande’s long sleek ponytail and I bought a cheap one off of Wish:

It’s Ariana Grande meets Tank Girl.

Here’s me crossing my fingers hoping Burning Man happens in 2021!

PEEP

What I’ve been peeping at online:

This dress.

Yassssss queen!

These SUPER BLINGY sunglasses which would look great with the pink dress, no?

This swimsuit with a 70’s vibe I’m totally digging:

OMG!

This little black dress with O-rings which nearly gave me a heart attack:

Now.

I know I have the balls, but do I have the audacity to wear this dress?

Maybe. . .

It’s sold out in smaller sizes but still available in larger sizes.

And finally, I saved THIS picture from Instagram:

This dress would’ve been absolutely PERFECT for my Miss Piggy costume but now just reminds me that there are other women out there in the world with similar body types to mine who look beautiful and sexy.

And that’s not a bad thing to be peeping at, in my book.

Pineapple Dreams

I stumbled across this GORGEOUS pineapple bag from Kate Spade:

It sells for around $600 on Poshmark.

Funny enough, the knockoffs are already available, because I can also buy THIS bag for about $70:

In case you didn’t know, I have a THING for pineapples.

I have an entire pineapple outfit which I wear at Burning Man:

Just so you know, if you’re in the market for a pineapple bag, there are options out there.

Like this $170 Kate Spade pineapple handbag:

Also?

Kate Spade is BIG into fruit right now so if you’re at all interested in strawberry, banana, oranges and cherries, her site is worth a peep!

How hard can it be?

I’ve decided it’s foolish to PAY someone $160 to make paint splattered, deconstructed denim overalls for me.

I’m going to DIY it!

Here’s a pair of cheap overalls:

I imagine all I need to do is take some permanent fabric paint and splatter the surface of the overalls with the paint.

Maybe I can talk a friend into doing it with me so I have moral support.

Then we could have matchy-matchy outfits.

Two chicks in painted overalls!

The only downside to this is that by my calculations, the paint is $65 (15 colors @ 16 oz) and the overalls are $40, although I can probably find a cheaper pair.

So there’s not much wiggle room to save money.

Nevertheless, I am resilient and determined to make my paint splatter overalls happen.

How hard can it be?

PUT ME ON!

So I went and did a thing.

I bought a pair of used electric blue velvet Penny Loves Kenney pumps off of Poshmark for $15.

What a deal, right?

I mean, what is better than recycling a pair of gently used shoes?

The shoes look brand new – no scuffs on the bottom of the pair.

So I patted myself on the back and congratulated myself on a job well done.

Shoes acquired at minimal expense.

Then THIS happened:

That’s right, I found a pair of electric blue shoes blingy enough to match my outfit SO I BOUGHT THEM.

And I have to say, I LOVE THEM!

In all caps, just like that.

I literally can’t wait to go out again.

In fact, I am so excited that the next time I go on a road trip, even though I don’t have a destination in mind or an activity, I may just get dressed up just for the hell of it.

Because my outfits are crying to be worn.

PUT ME ON!

Valentine’s Weekend

Valentine’s Day came and went and if I was expecting to get spanked by the holiday, I was in for disappointment.

Red roses arrived at the house, as did a large pink heart made from (of all things) a pool noodle, and a box of (my favorite) dark chocolate.

But that’s not all.

There’s a new cheese shop in Capitola near the mall and I finally got to try cheese samples and buy a shit ton of cheese.

I bought about a dozen wedges of cheese.

You know how I feel about cheese.

Cheese is love.

Furthermore, I actually spent a nice day on Saturday driving around Santa Cruz and heading out to Pescadero along highway one.

In Pescadero, I stopped at the market and bought a loaf of artichoke bread to enjoy with the cheese.

Then, despite the fact that I have thrown up from motion sickness on the drive home, I took the windy mountain roads home, stopping only at Safeway to buy a few bottles of wine.

The wine was consumed with the cheese and the bread at home while playing a fun game of Scrabble.

And then for Valentine’s Day, I hosted a little zoom gathering where we shared entertaining stories, songs, poetry, and readings.

Over 15 friends showed up to celebrate what otherwise might have been a lonely night for me.

All in all, it’s been a lovely weekend.

And the best part?

It’s not over!

Tomorrow is President’s Day and so I have another day to do whatever the hell I want to do.

And she was all YELLOW

Lately, I’ve been inspired by sunny yellow colors.

I saw this bikini online and now I dream of sashaying along a tropical beach in it.

But yellow is not a new color for me.

I’ve attended weddings in bright, happy yellow:

And I’ve been inspired by yellow in the photos I’ve taken:

I did happen to also get inspired by this outfit:

And it makes me want to get my own paint splatter overalls.

I have several friends who are artists who would laugh me out of the house if I told them I would pay money for a pair of paint-splatter, deconstructed overalls.

But it’s true.

Look at these ones online for $168.

Honestly, if I had more confidence in myself as an artist, I might attempt to design a pair myself but since I’m not a painter I might have to commission a pair.

Also, I could just get these for $42.25.

They’re pretty cute.

Memory Lane

Part of my children’s story gets told through photos in a treasured iPhoto Library tucked away on an external hard drive appropriately nicknamed “J” drive.

Every time I want to look at photos from their youth, I can’t help but be swept up by the flood of memories the pictures evoke.

Cameras and video capture became commonplace in mobile phone technology just in time to capture me falling in love back in 2007-2009.

It’s the closest I ever came to making a 2-parent family unit post-divorce and therefore is hard for me to look at.

The upside of documenting a love story from start to finish is that so many beautiful moments were captured – from the time we spontaneously came across Labyrinth playing in a Santa Cruz movie theater to the bonfire on the beach with glow-in-the-dark frisbees to that stunning trip to the Bellagio in Las Vegas.

The downside of capturing a love story from start to finish is that you relive it every time you delve into old family photos.

But when you come across stunners, like these, it’s hard to feel too bad: