Fucking Steve!

Steve told me to start out this blog post saying, “Fucking Steve!  He took me on his goddamn boat and got us stranded in the middle of the bay.”

There, I just gave away the punch line.

Yes indeed, I went to visit my ex-BF Steve at the Antioch Marina to take his boat out for a spin.

What kind of a boat it is, you ask?  It’s a white one with triangle sails.  I’m so savvy when it comes to boats.

Anyway, the engine wouldn’t start, the battery was drained, so Steve got a backup generator from his car and we proceeded to charge the battery.  Unknown to us at the time is that instead of charging the battery, we had left it in idle.  So he took me out to get some food and while the battery should have been charging, it was idling.  Oh, and we left the lights on in the boat …. can you say battery drain?

Meanwhile, we loaded up on heart attacks at Hazel’s in Antioch where they serve this HUGE burger.  Steve and I shared.

IMG_4652You can see the size of each HALF BURGER compared to Steve’s hand in this picture.

We got back to the Marina after dinner, discovered our snafu and fixed the problem.  We went for a walk and chatted about everything from our family and friends, to Steve’s (sometimes) crazy ex-girlfriends.  Me, not included.  I think I get a special category of crazy – the lovable kind 🙂

Finally the battery was charged and the boat left the dock.  Since neither Steve or I knew how to sail, we just motored around a bit as Steve got the hang of his boat.

About 45 minutes into our “sail” the engine came to a stop.  We had run out of gas.  We were drifting with the current.  We laughed but a little part of me was worried.  Do we call someone?  Flag someone down?

Here we are in a SAILBOAT and we don’t know how to SAIL!!  How embarrassing.

At this point, Steve remembered the generator we had brought on board to jumpstart the engine.  THAT GENERATOR RAN OFF OF GAS.  We could use the gasoline from the generator to power the boat’s engine.  He used a sump pump to transfer the gasoline.  Brilliant!

Before we knew it, we were on our way again.  Motoring back to the marina.

To Steve’s credit, this boat is new to him and he didn’t realize that the gas gauge (which was showing full) was faulty.  For a moment there, I did wonder if he was pulling the old “broke down car” maneuver to get me alone.  Such was not the case…. but that’s a story I will leave for another blog post titled “I just can’t get any.”

So in the end, we had a lot of fun taking the boat out and about in the water.  It’s probably the first time that boat has gone out in years.  And it was fun to hang with Steve and hear his incredible life stories.

Running out of gas (when we had sails) made it a bit of an adventure, but nothing this sailor gal can’t deal with.

Mostly, this trip just convinced me that I really do need to refresh my sailing skills and learn how to actually use the sails on a sailboat.

Could’ve come in handy today!

Magic is what you make of it

Disney loveMagic always comes with a prince

At least that’s what Disney and Hollywood lead you to believe.

Of course lately, there’s been less focus on the prince and more focus on the heroine, but you get the picture – love, above all, makes the story.

And how are we single ladies supposed to feel about this in real life?

Well, I’ll tell you, being single has never hurt my social life. In fact, I think I get out more and do more things simply because I don’t have a partner to hang out at home with eating pizza and drinking beer with on a Saturday night.

Being single didn’t hurt me when I was racing cars at the Stockton 99.

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Being single especially didn’t hurt me when I was leaping from an airplane with a hot man and a parachute strapped to my back.

And it certainly didn’t hurt me when I went to the Alameda County Fairgrounds and ran with the bulls.

photo 4No, being single hasn’t hurt one bit.

Even my more carnal urges somehow manage to get taken care of.

So what then is my life missing without a man to “complete” me?

The answer is nothing.

I have friends and family who give me love and camaraderie and lovers who give me intimacy.

Everything else is icing on the cake.

Sure, it’s magical when life and love come with a prince.

But it sure as hell isn’t required.

Magic, is what you make of it.

It’s raining fish!

A few friends and I took to the seas and went fishing this past weekend.

We were fishing for crab and rock cod.

Despite the fact that I kept getting called “sweetheart” by the deck manager, I had a GREAT time.

Getting up at 3:45 am is not ideal, but it allows you to catch sights like the sunrise over the city.

And the Golden Gate Bridge as seen from the water

It took us 3 hours to motor out past the Farallons to our fishing “hole.”

I literally dropped my line in the water and came out with a fish.

It was RAINING FISH.

In the end, after about 4 hours of fishing, I caught 10 fish – mostly medium size rock cod.

Some were olive colored, some were red, and others were bright yellow.

It was rather amazing to see the diversity.

One guy on our boat caught a behemoth!

The thing was over 2 feet long and must’ve weight a good 20 – 30 pounds.

On our way back home from fishing, we stopped and checked our crab pots and we’d caught enough crab for everyone on the boat to get two crabs each.

A deckhand was kind enough to give me two extra so I had 6 crabs, including Tejas’ crabs.

I took the crabs to the bait shack when we got back and left them to be cooked and cleaned.

And that’s when it happened.

Someone STOLE MY CRAB.

Just walked off with the bag of my cooked and cleaned crabs, leaving me with my worthless claim ticket.

But the guys cooking the crab took mercy on me and managed to get me 6 other crabs to take home.

So all is well that ends well.

Still.

Someone stole my catch!

Bad form!

Lizzo-inspired performer

Sorry for the gap in posting, I’ve been sick since Sunday.

For my aunt and uncle’s post-Halloween costume party which took place on my birthday, I dressed up as a Lizzo-inspired performer.

No one is Lizzo but Lizzo, that’s for sure.

And certainly not this white girl who loves her music.

The unfortunate thing is that I was coming down with a head cold that night and so I wasn’t feeling my absolute best.

But I did shots of tequila with the best of them.

I also drank something called Truly, which is just like White Claw hard seltzer.

It was yummy.

All in all I had a great time.

My aunt really goes all out with the Halloween decorations.

I even got to work my magic making one aunt into a sexy glittery green dragon and another aunt into a deer.

And just to prove I was there, here are a few pics from the night:

Pole Dancing

The irony about going to see the movie Hustlers, which has a rather INFAMOUS scene of Jennifer Lopez pole dancing in a white string bodysuit, is that I too have taken pole dancing lessons.

I took them at an actual pole dancing studio by my house and enjoyed them enough that I came back and took a lap dancing class.

Mind you, I have no one to pole dance for or to give a lap dance too, but when I do you can rest assured, I am prepared.

So back to Hustlers. . . Jennifer Lopez looks absolutely incredible throughout the entire movie.

The pole dancing was hyped to be extraordinary (and it was) but it was limited to one scene.

Which I found rather disappointing.

If you’re expecting a repeat performance of Demi Moore in Striptease, you’re bound to be disappointed.

What I can say about pole dancing is this.

It’s athletic and artistic and sexy ALL AT THE SAME TIME!

I’m not very good at it.

Honestly, it’s hard to get myself twelve inches off the floor on a pole, but I keep trying to improve.

Of course, it’s challenging when you don’t have your own pole to practice on.

Lap dancing is MUCH easier.

You can do it anywhere.

I still remember some of the rules:

  1. Move  s l o w l y
  2. Touch yourself
  3. Make eye contact
  4. Smear yourself across your partner

There is more good news as well.

I can now attend a pole dancing expo in my local studio, open to women only.

I’m guessing I’ll sign up and go.

Nothing like spending $20 to watch beautiful women show off incredible dance moves on and off the pole.

Count me in!

Strippers

It must be the season.

All I want to do is bake cookies, quilt, and curl up in bed with a book and a cup of tea.

I’m nesting.

At least that what it feels like.

All I need to start my creative juices flowing is for the weather to turn a little chilly and I’m ready to become Martha Stewart.

I don’t know when I became so domesticated.

It used to be that I’d spend my weekends doing anything but staying at home working on projects.

I was out traveling, doing things, and exploring the Bay.

Now, I’m quilting, working on costumes, and just taking it easy.

It’s football season, and I find myself sitting on my couch letting the NFL entertain me.

But it’s a solitary joy because NO ONE IN MY FAMILY WATCHES FOOTBALL BUT ME.

This weekend I’m going to a dear old friend’s new home in Monterey to celebrate his housewarming.

And that’s it.

I was going to go to the Renaissance Faire but my plans fell through.

Instead I’m going on a date to see Hustlers, the movie with Jennifer Lopez and Cardi B.

His choice, not mine.

And there you have it.

A nice, mellow recharge weekend!

With strippers.

Renaissance Man

This weekend, I took a photography class from a friend who is an outstanding photographer.

He started in the beginning with how photographs are actually made, starting with the infamous “pinhole” camera.

I asked him to teach me about cameras because I want to learn to take better photographs.

For this blog and elsewhere.

And I admired his style and skill with a camera.

I learned all about apertures, f-stops and depth of field.

I learned about ISO and how higher ISO can capture images but also lose resolution, hence the need to play with exposure time and f-stop.

I discovered that you can play around with things like focal points to achieve dramatic results – such as a face that is in focus while the background is illuminated yet slightly out-of-focus creating a soft look.

Don’t worry.

I may not be explaining it well, but I took good notes and soon I’ll have my own camera to play around with.

Just as a side note, my friend took a look at my truck which had its “check engine” light on.

He figured out that I needed a new MAP (Manifold Air Pressure) sensor.

And he discovered that at one point mice were living in my air filter because they left behind EXCREMENT.

UGH!

That got cleaned up REAL FAST.

He also showed me the 5 week old kittens living in his shed and the rescue dog in his house named (I’ve been assured appropriately) Loki.

I’d love to take any foster pets from my friend and his wife but sadly, my living situation doesn’t allow.

Despite the fact that I CLEARLY am in need of rodent control at my house.

And for your viewing pleasure – a picture of the rodent poo in the air filter of my truck.

Eeeewwwwwww!

Kitten pictures would’ve been much nicer!

Queen

It’s my favorite time of year – the build-up from Halloween, and my birthday to Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Needless to say I do not suffer from season affective disorder, though I know a few people who do and it’s a terrible thing to have happen.

I love the holidays.

I EVEN love holiday music.

Yes, I’m one of THOSE people.

I think my love of the holidays comes from my mother.

Growing up, we’d decorate, cook, and listen to Christmas music during the holiday season.

I remember Mom would put on Christmas music and we’d bake cookies and pies until the dining room table was FILLED WITH TREATS!

This year I’m doing what I did last year and I’m QUILTING for the holidays.

My work shuts down for two weeks during the holidays and it’s the PERFECT time to start a quilting project.

This time, I’m looking at two quilt patterns:

The trick is that I really should make the Spruced Goose quilt because I have all the supplies to make it.

However, it’s a gift for a friend and the Star Gazing quilt is actually a more appropriate color scheme for her.

So I’m stuck.

Do I make the quilt that’s better for her or the one I’ve got all the supplies for?

Oh, the dilemma.

Turns out, I may just try to make both and decide what to do with them later.

Also, I have THIS quilt top which needs to be finalized and I haven’t created the backing for it yet so maybe I’ll finish THREE QUILTS this holiday season.

What can I say?

I am a quilt making QUEEN!

The Highland Games

imageThere was once a time in my life when I was embedded in the Highland Games circuit.  I went to a Games every weekend and watched the heavy athletics, the bands, and the living history show.

But those times were long ago.  Although going to this Highland Games did make me a little nostalgic for my ex Steve, who was a superb Highland athlete with a whopping 56″ chest.  Ah, I miss that chest!

In any case, I went to this game with my BFF, her boyfriend, and two other friends with their boyfriends, making me the whopping 7th wheel.  But we all had fun.

 

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We checked out the Birds of Prey display and hit up the Whisky Tasting Room to try a few single malts (Oban, Lagavulin, and Laphroig were my favorites).  We also checked out the shinty exhibition game, the heavy athletics, the bands massing, and the food vendors.

All in all, a fabulous time, considering I managed to sample over 12 kinds of whisky and not get wasted.  Plus I got to hear 600+ pipers play Amazing Grace so beautifully, the hair on my arms stood up.

Here’s a few pics from the afternoon.  Hope you like!

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Birthday!

My birthday is coming up!

Last year I hosted a Bohemian Rhapsody themed birthday party at the premiere of Bohemian Rhapsody, the Freddie Mercury biopic.

Two years before that, I hosted a pirate’s pub crawl in Campbell with my friends.

All very fun.

This year, I’m going to my aunt and uncle’s house in Castro Valley to celebrate a late Halloween party.

I’m dressing up as a Lizzo-inspired performer.

Quite frankly, that’s as close as I can get to that bad ass bitch.

I’m excited, however.

Getting another year older is NBD.

It’s a luxury denied to many so I remind myself as I start to feel my creaking knees and spot gray hair on my head that I should be thrilled.

Lord knows that but for the grace of God, or the unraveling of the universe, I might not be where I am today.

Celebrating my birthday with family and friends.

I plan to celebrate my birthday for as long as I can and see as many friends and family as possible.

It’s just a BONUS that there’s costumes involved.

Woot!