Naked karaoke

I karaoked.

Yes, I did.

But first, let me tell you a little bit about the MeetUp.

About 20 men showed up.

And the only woman there was me.

Nice odds, eh?

Anyway, it was a sausage fest.

There I am, sitting at a table full of men, while someone GARGLED “Thunderstruck.”

Yes, he practically GARGLED the song.

It was wild!

So I get up to sing and discover that the lyrics are being projected to a screen across the room and ME WITHOUT MY GLASSES, I CAN’T READ THEM VERY WELL.

Needless to say, my performance didn’t go as planned.

I was pitchy.

Stiff.

I even started singing in harmony.

Thankfully it was over in less than 5 minutes.

But I’ll tell you this – I’m not going to win any awards for my performance.

I think I’m going to ditch “We Belong” as my karaoke song and find a new one.

“Dancing Queen” by ABBA.

Or “My Immortal” by Evanescence.

Truthfully I love “What’s Going On” by Four Non-Blondes, but I’m just not sure I could pull off such a powerful song.

That, and I have friends from Burning Man who PUT ME TO SHAME when they sing that song.

So there you have it, karaoke on a Wednesday night.

What could be more embarrassing?

I suppose naked karaoke.

That would be a sight!

I’m a quilter

I am a quilter.

I have no idea WHERE the desire to quilt comes from.

I’m not a particularly PATIENT person.

I don’t think of myself as terribly ARTISTIC.

And yet, I quilt.

I’ve made upwards of 30 – 40 quilts so far.

I’ve given all of them away as gifts to friends, families, and ex-boyfriends.

The things I do when I’m in love.

Oy!

Anyway, as it turns out, quilting may be in my DNA.

The Norwegians have a long tradition of quilting.

And I discovered that the lodge I’m trying to join has a history of quilting:

I’m hoping, should they ever respond to my request to join, that this will work in my favor.

I’m a quilter AND a little bit Norwegian.

Check out some of my quilts (sorry for the bad lighting):

Shoot the shit

Tonight I am going to karaoke with a bunch of strangers.

I tried to talk Barbara into going with me so I wouldn’t be all alone but she’s working.

So I’m left to my own devices.

This is a MeetUp event.

And I’m going because I think it’s important for me to get out and do things that I normally wouldn’t do.

Time to make more friends.

Hang out with interesting people.

Sing my head off with Pat Benatar.

“WE BELONG!”

It’s my standard karaoke performance.

That and “My Immortal” by Evanescence.

Which is CONSIDERABLY harder than “We Belong.”

It has been WAY TOO EASY for me to just hang out at home, watching TV, and relaxing with my boys.

I need to get out and mingle.

Shoot the shit.

You never know when you’re going to meet someone awesome.

But I’m pretty sure it’s not going to happen if I keep sitting on the couch in my living room watching reruns of NCIS.

So I’m going out.

Happy Fall!

I love Fall.

It’s my FAVORITE time of year.

The weather gets crisp.

The leaves turn color.

Pumpkin spice everything is everywhere.

And BEST OF ALL, it’s my BIRTHDAY!

That’s right.

In less than two weeks I’ll turn (gasp) 45.

I’m going with friends and family to see “Bohemian Rhapsody” – the Freddie Mercury biopic.

I can’t wait!

Everyone is dressing up like 80’s rock stars – Cindy Lauper, Madonna, Bruce Springsteen, Bono, Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson. . .

I am going as Freddie Mercury, in his yellow Wembley Stadium jacket.

I even got a little patch of hair for my chest and a short brown wig to make me look like Freddie Mercury.

But since that’s probably insufficient to transform me into Freddie, I also bought a mask of his face.

I’m SO EXCITED!

I clearly do not suffer from seasonal affective disorder.

I get excited and happy instead of moody and blue.

I already bought my Christmas cards and I’m planning Christmas presents AS WE SPEAK.

The big news, of course, is that my oldest son has joined the Army Reserves as Military Police.

He starts boot camp on December 31, 2018.

Even though I am excited for him, I will also miss him terribly.

But that’s a small price to pay to see him launch himself successfully into a career.

Woot!

Happy Fall, y’all!

Novelty Seeking Gene

I have one copy of the Novelty Seeking gene.  [I worked in genetics for 5 years after I graduated college and I tested my own DNA against a lot of genetic markers.]

It’s a real thing and you can read about it here.

Besides attributing the existence of this blog to my poor memory (it’s my diary, of sorts), I also like to chronicle my adventures in blog posts.

I’ve run with the bulls.

Raced stock cars.

Kayaked with whales.

Took a Blow Job 101 class.

Posed for boudoir photos.

Gone to Burning Man four times.

Took an Orgasmic Meditation class.

Made beer.

Gone whale watching.

Sailed the Bay.

Caught salmon in the ocean.

Skydived.

And so much more.

I get bored easily so I’m always trying to plan my next adventure.

I also am always up for a dare.

Take for instance, the Bug Eating Dare.

Apparently, it’s a Korean delicacy to eat silkworm grub.

Yes, indeed.

And there I was, standing around the campfire, when someone offered me a grub.

My first instinct was to say no.

But then I thought, “Why not?”

It’s not as if I’ll ever get the chance to do this again.

And so I ate one.

I know what you’re wondering.

You’re wondering what it tasted like.

It tasted like dirt and had a gritty texture.

Delicacy, I don’t think so!

I spit it out into the fire.

So maybe it doesn’t count because I spit instead of swallowed, but I’ve eaten a Korean silkworm grub and I DID NOT LIKE IT!

Remind me to tell you about the time I ate chocolate covered ants.

Gotta love that novelty seeking gene!

 

 

Interactive Party

I went to a birthday party this weekend and it was OUTRAGEOUSLY FUN!

Yes, the birthday boy is a burner so it was bound to be spectacular, but really it was EXTRAORDINARY!

First of all, street clothes were discouraged (although it did not take precedence over having friends attend).

Instead, we were asked to dress in themes that represented our true self.

Burner wear, costumes, lingerie, etc were all present and accounted for.

I wore my Ashley Graham outfit.

The theme for the party was participation, so everyone was encouraged to share their talents with the crowd.

I wore a silver and black hat I made and I talked to people about how I made it and gave out little cards with the names of suppliers, for ribbons, rhinestones, base hat, etc.

It was a fantastic evening and I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I had the MOST AMAZING TIME!

When it came to entertainment, the party guests really knocked it out of the park:

  • Naked fire dancing
  • Belly dancing
  • Ropes and suspensions
  • Jazz singing
  • Dancing
  • DJ music
  • Guitar playing
  • Flogging

By the time I was ready to leave, I was fully saturated with entertainment and fun!

What an excellent idea for a party!

Go ahead and rip off the idea for your next party. . . I guarantee it’ll be the most fun you’ve ever had at a party!

Surprise in deep playa

One of the things I LOVE about Burning Man is that the unexpected happens.

Of course, that can be a double edged sword when your RV breaks down in Gerlach a mere 10 miles from the event.

Or, it can work in your favor when you’re gifting chapstick and come upon a group of people in desperate need of chapstick.

Truth.

While I was venturing out to the trash fence in deep playa with my friend and her kid, we noticed a bunch of lights off in the distance.

And since we are a curious bunch, we decided to go there to see what it was about.

And we stumbled on an OASIS!

A guy in a fuzzy yellow wig had built himself a little BICYCLE BAR.

That’s right.

He had a bar around his bike and he pedaled out into deep playa, set up speakers, played some wonderful tunes – and sure enough – people flocked to him.

He was serving chilled beer or a tiki drink made with pineapple juice.

Oh, so delicious!

Isn’t it lovely?!

You can be just exploring a new area, expecting absolutely nothing to come of it, when all of a sudden something lovely drops into your lap!

So here’s to the Dusty Pineapple bicycle bar in deep playa.

I salute you in all my pineapple finery!

May the sun always shine on you and your endeavors!

Just call me bartender

I love bartending.

I have an ex-boyfriend who is a bartender and he taught be everything I know (which granted, isn’t that much but it’s more than most).

For Burning Man, my friend and her kid decided that we’d like to offer Oktoberfest fixings to thirsty burners.

Believe you me, it is not easy at all to chill 6 mini kegs of Oktoberfest beer when you are on the playa.

We must’ve gone through 20 bags of ice, chilling the beer over the course of 2 days.

In the end, we were successful though and we had TONS of ice cold beer to serve to guests.

The best part of all this was that my friends got to serve beer in authentic drindl and leiderhosen. AND we had authentic German music playing over the loudspeakers, thanks to some quick thinking by the incomparable Stu.

Me, I was in my typical St. Pauli Girl costume.

Well, if you must know the Oktoberfest Happy Hour went REALLY well.

My friend’s kids was a great barker and got people off their bikes and into the bar for drinks.

My only complaint?

My feet hurt.

Two hours of standing on the playa will make your tootsies hurt SO BAD.

Next year?

Non-stress mat!

Temple and The Man

I finally managed to get to the man on Friday night right before it closed to visitors to prepare it for the burn the next night.

It was stunning.

Inside the structure were large wraparound movie screens playing animation which finally ended in a tribute to Larry Harvey, the recently deceased founder of Burning Man.

Here is a picture of the man during the day (not sure who to credit the photo to, so if it’s yours, lmk):

After wandering around the man for a bit, we headed over to temple.

Temple was serene and reverent and I took the time to leave my tribute for my children and my pets in the temple (see blue fabric on wooden beam, below).

The temple smelled amazing with incense burning everywhere.

Everywhere you looked there were tributes to everyone.

I felt emotional.

I’m pretty sure at some point I’m going to breakdown and have a good cry.

It’s been a good burn but so much has happened I feel like I’m behind in processing my feelings.

I may just cry when I leave the playa.

And it will be cathartic.

Lost Penguin

Yummy, who I’ve known for about three years, showed up at my camp Wednesday afternoon and we arranged to meet up later and tour the playa.

First we checked out his camp in the Lost Penguins.

Then we took off to go to  my camp to get goggles and a face mask – two CRITICAL items I forgot to grab.

After that, it was just a hop, skip, and a jump over to the Empress Tea Room to have a cup of tea – SERVED IN REAL TEA CUPS WITH SAUCERS!

We were also served cookies.

The tea was outstanding and is called Bengal Spice Tea – apparently it’s Celestial Seasonings and you can buy it virtually anywhere.

It was delicious!

We rode out to Esplanade and dodged traffic on our bikes until we arrived at Ali Bar Bar.

None of my friends were bartending so we left and rode all the way down E Street (cue the Bruce Springsteen jokes) into a headwind from 9:00 to 6:00 during a dust storm.

A quick shower before we jumped into the water feature for a nice soak and conversation.

Have I mentioned how much I LOVE Burning Man?!