Pasties and Age Limits

I’ve been shopping for Burning Man.

Again.

It’s seriously a never-ending saga with me.

And it’s all because I love make believe.

Costuming.

Putting together outfits for a special event.

The thing about Burning Man is that it can get hot.

Real hot.

Especially during the day.

So I’ve been looking into buying lingerie to wear as clothing.

Give me a teddy and some cut off jean shorts and color me happy.

The problem is (or maybe it’s not a problem at all given my exhibitionist proclivities) my nipples show through the thin lace fabric.

Hmmm.

What’s a gal to do when she has nipples showing through her teddy at Burning Man.

Nothing (technically)!

It’s all a-ok.

But for someone who doesn’t want to have her nipples stared at the obvious solution is pasties.

Pasties are basically a sticker that you put over your nipples to cover them up but still reveal your beautiful breasts.

In my lifetime I have bought half a dozen pairs of pasties and I’ve worn them exactly ZERO times.

It’s because as much as I want to look sexy, I’m not quite confident enough to pull them off.

I remind myself I’ve nursed 3 babies.

And I’m 45 years old.

Pasties are for 20-something year olds who have yet to ravage their bodies through bearing children.

Don’t pasties come with an age limit?

Sort of like those rides at the amusement park. . .

Your breasts must be THIS PERKY to wear these pasties.

Or some such nonsense.

It’s only because walking around topless in the heat at Burning Man sounds so liberating that I’m even CONSIDERING buying them again.

Maybe I’ll buy pasties, maybe I won’t.

Ultimately, I have to wear what I’m comfortable in and it seems I’m not quite ready to go there yet.

But hey, if I do?

You’ll see it here on unblunder first!

Obsession

Anyone who knows me, knows I have an OBSESSION with makeup.

Whenever I needed to cheer myself up when I was younger, I’d go to the drugstore or department store and I’d buy HUNDREDS of dollars of makeup.

I estimate that I have approximately a BUTTLOAD of makeup.

I have so much that I periodically purge my collection and pass on makeup to my awesome niece Bella (and her mom and grandma).

My boys actually BLOCK me football-style, when we’re in the mall passing Sephora, Ulta, Morphe or MAC.

He he he!

For the Santa Con in Campbell, I whipped up this look:

Truthfully, it wasn’t too challenging.

The learning curve for contouring your face is STEEP.

I looked like a mad woman for a while, with dark stripes under my cheekbones and around my forehead.

But I just kept blending and it all worked out.

Now, for the upcoming Dragon Party, I’ve decided I’m going to try to make myself into a dragon.

BRING ON THE FACE PAINT!

This is the look I’m going for, only in GREEN:

As near as I can tell, I’ll need to draw the horns and teeth first then add the rest of the face paint.

I’ve already purchased face paint from Amazon:

So here’s hoping my face paint skills are up to par and I can pull off this dragon look.

And just to make sure people know I’M A DRAGON, I got these really cool horns off of etsy.

To complete the look.

I’m nothing if not thorough.

Dragons

Another day, another themed party for the burner community.

Have I said recently how much I LOVE my burner community?

Because I REALLY do!

This time, the theme is DRAGONS.

Think green scaly things, maidens in distress, and knights in shining armor.

I will be sure to flirt with all the knights in shining armor.

What am I going as?

Why a dragon, to be sure.

A nice, comfortable, green dragon.

I bought this onesie off of Amazon for $25.

It’s the right costume at the right price, if you ask me.

I personally love the idea of a medieval party.

I was tempted to buy these beautiful “bat” wings off of etsy:

However, I remember what a PAIN IN THE ASS it is to wear wings (always bumping in to people and can’t move without knocking something over) and I scrapped that idea.

So its just me and my onesie.

And MAKEUP!

Check out this awesome tutorial for dragon makeup using (I think) fake gold nails for dragon scales. . .

I’m not sure I’m up to doing a whole face of dragon makeup, but I could probably muster something interesting to look at.

Wish me luck!

Flirt

He told me I sucked at flirting, and boy was he right.

I’m terrible at flirting.

Honestly, I’m one of those people who (unless it’s totally obvious my love interest is also interested in me) basically tries to ignore my potential mate.

Feeling attracted to someone brings a flush of emotions – turn on being the most notable among them.

And it feels SO GOOD!

But there’s also notably FEAR.

Yes, I get scared.

Is he going to flirt with me?  Does he like me?  Should I flirt with him first?

So let’s get back to the guy who told me I sucked at flirting.

Two years ago, in a bar at Burning Man – a place basically CREATED with hookups in mind – and I’m trying desperately to get the attention of a charismatic older man.

Sure enough my attempts to flirt are bombing.

It probably would have been better if I hadn’t sent my friend in to find out more details about him – a textbook 6th grade flirting technique.

So then I became BOLD.

I stared at his lips.

I smiled at him and played with my hair.

And sure enough, he let me kiss him.

So it’s not like I TOTALLY BOMBED at flirting.

But I’d say that a 6th grade approach to flirting is a LITTLE outdated and should be abandoned for a more appropriate and mature approach.

So I mustered up all my courage and. . .

I invited him to my RV.

Yup. I sure did.

It’s a steep learning curve, but I eventually will get it.

Pagan Bunny Burn

There’s an event that takes place near Elk Grove, California called The Pagan Bunny Burn.

I attended last year and had a great time, despite the fact that it was pretty damn cold in my tent and it rained (just a little) during the weekend.

This year I wasn’t on the ball and I missed my opportunity to get tickets.

I have a few bunny outfits:

There’s my White Rabbit costume, my Playboy Bunny costume, my Pink bunny costume, and my Black Burner Bunny costume.

So I’m pretty bummed that I’m going to miss it this year.

But since my outfits are mostly designed for the hot weather on the playa at Burning Man, and not the chilly spring weather of Elk Grove, I’ll live with it.

Of course, tickets do come available as we approach the event date so it’s possible I may get to go.

I’m focusing on minimizing my footprint at burner campouts this year.

I have a small 8 x 7 foot tent:

It’s sufficient shelter in a rainstorm, but it’s not wildly insulated and I find I get chilled at night.

You know what I’m talking about – when you have to BURY yourself in the blankets and should anything peek out from underneath, it is met with frigid air and you beat a hasty retreat from the cold.

Yeah, it’s THAT cold.

So you MIGHT see me at the Pagan Bunny Burn.

I’ll be the one sitting on a bar stool at the Endorphin Orphan Bar, drinking a beer and dressed in my burner bunny finest!

 

Burning Man Beauty

I’ve got 10 events in 10 days at work so I’m reposting some old content I find funny.  New content will resume on February 6th.

Reposted from 2018:

 

It takes less then 24 hours for the playa to destroy your brand new gel manicure.

I’m not kidding.

My nails are destroyed.

My perfectly blown out hair is a hot mess.

Playa dust sticks to everything, including your hair, making it sticky and hyper-texturized so much so that you can barely run a brush through your hair.

If you shower, you need to IMMEDIATELY dry your hair or risk absorbing all the dust in the air into your freshly washed hair.

I learned this the hard way when I went on a bike ride into deep playa during a dust storm in 2015 right after I washed my hair in camp.

My dust storm this week happened while I was riding home with a friend from 9:00 and A to 6:00 and E (the long way, not the Esplanade way).

We rode our bikes to Tejas’ RV.

In a dust storm.

Riding into the wind.

When I arrived at the RV, My eyebrows and my formerly jet black lashes were “playa dust white.”

And yet, despite the elements, playa women look magically sexy and beautiful.

And I’m not talking about the ones who look like they’re fresh from the default world.

No, I’m talking about the ones who look like they’ve been up all night dancing in a dust storm at Opulent Temple.

I’m talking about the ones who look a little “rode hard and put away wet” but also wear a smile that could power a million light bulbs.

Inner radiance.

That’s where true beauty lies.

ABC the hard way

I’ve given up on wearing a latex dress for the ABC (Anything But Clothes) party.

I don’t want to be steamed like Instapot cauliflower by wearing such an insulated fabric.

Also, it’s pretty unforgiving to lumps and bumps, of which I have a few.

And it seems like it’s not quite in keeping with the theme of the party to BUY a latex outfit and call it ABC because it’s TECHNICALLY not fabric.

So I’m back to the drawing board.

I’m pretty sure I’m going to use garbage bags for my outfit.

I’ve found a few inspirational pics online which seem to indicate that using garbage bags and duct tape is a viable option for making an ABC outfit.

Maybe I can make a cardboard corset or get a plastic belt to liven up ALL THAT BLACK:

Or maybe I should embrace the futuristic appeal of the outfit and buy THIS hat:

All I need is a black Japanese motorcycle and a Doberman with a spiked collar.

Lucky Charms

Last unSCruz costume post, I SWEAR!

Today I put the finishing touches on my final unSCruz onesie outfit.

I fell in love with this purple star onesie on Amazon:

It’s just so pretty and so perfect for unSCruz.

I’ve decided to go with a head-to-toe lavender look, including shoes, barrette, and wig:

It’s nice to not have to worry about accessories like fishnet tights or jewelry.

I love the simplicity of onesies.

I’ll bring some long underwear for underneath, just in case it’s really cold at unSCruz.

It just occurred to me that I’m SCREWED if it’s hot at unSCruz so I’ll have to bring some less insulated clothing to wear.

Good thing I have plenty of outfits for when it’s hotter than hell at Burning Man!

But I’m guessing it’ll be nippy during the day and cold at night so I’ll dress appropriately for moderately cold weather.

I’ll be prepared!

Costume Workshop and Clothing Exchange

I will be hosting a costume workshop and clothing exchange in March.

I have fond memories of my first costume workshop.

It was my first Burning Man event EVER!

I’d managed to land a ticket to Burning Man in the 2015 sale and I needed to find a camp to stay with at the burn.

So I conducted a Google search and found a group of Burners who were putting on a costume workshop.

At Lupin Lodge.

I’d been there before so I was fully prepared to see naked people but at the workshop where I was, everyone was clothed and working on creating costumes.

I brought stuff to make a tutu out of red netting.

Can I just tell you, I NEVER FINISHED THAT TUTU!

That’s right.

I start projects and never finish them.

Which is why I will be bringing some of my hat making supplies to the costume workshop.

I’m sure other people will find my knick knacks very useful for their projects and it’ll help clear out some of the clutter that’s in my room.

Ribbons, sequin appliques, and hats.

I’m totally excited about the workshop and clothing exchange.

Not just because I’m big time into costumes, but because it’s my first time producing an event with a new burner group.

And I’m totally stoked to be part of the team.

Every year I think, “Yeah, I just going to SLOW DOWN all my burner activities.”

And every year I get sucked back in.

Can’t fight it.

I love the Burning Man community!

Pineapple

I pulled together a pineapple outfit for Burning Man:

And wonder of all wonders. . .I ACTUALLY wore it at Burning Man:

So when it comes to unSCruz, I thought, “Why not revisit my pineapple accessories and put together a warm pineapple outfit?”

And so I did just that.

Internet, meet my PINEAPPLE ONESIE:

And my PINEAPPLE BEANIE:

As if that’s NOT ENOUGH PINEAPPLES, I’ve got my pineapple necklace, earrings, and sunglasses to include with the outfit.

Oh, that’s TOO MUCH I know, but I can’t help myself.

I just love the design of pineapples.

Irony is though, I actually don’t like to eat pineapples.

Something about the texture bothers me.

So even though I’ll be a pineapple girl at unSCruz, you won’t find me eating any pineapples!