Just Because

When my son Douglas died, I was devastated.

I searched all over for things to do to comfort myself.

I adopted a rescue dog from the shelter, named him Mac and poured all the love I had for Douglas into that furry baby of mine.

I also donated all my milk to the Mother’s Milk Bank.

I can’t tell you how heartening it was to get Christmas cards from all the families who received my donations.

And I made up little business cards to pass out with random acts of kindness.

Once, I bought breakfast for the couple next to me in the diner and gave them the card that read “This random act of kindness done in loving memory of Douglas.”

I’ve been thinking a lot about random acts of kindness.

Mostly because Burning Man is flush with these kinds of gestures.

Someone following you on their bike for two city blocks to return an item you accidentally dropped on the playa.

Shared chapstick on a hot, dusty day (pre-covid, of course).

And someone stopping what they were doing to help you fix your broken bike.

Little miracles, is what I think of them.

Random acts of kindness and caring.

If you ask me, the world could use a little more care and a little less apathy.

Which is why I’m so excited that my work has launched a site to record random acts of kindness.

I’m reminded of those little business cards I passed out and am thinking I may resurrect them and log a few of my own random acts of kindness.

Just because.

Fake Vehicle Pass

I know a lot of burners out there with Burning Man vehicle passes stuck to their RV or car windows, displaying how many years they’ve been attending the burn.

Sadly, since 2020 didn’t take place, there will be a gap in their attendance, no?

No!

Check out this FAKE 2020 Burning Man vehicle pass, for the bargain price of $8.87 (plus $2.99 shipping):

I already bought one for Nadine.

Go get yourself one, if you’re so inclined.

P.S.  I get no commission or kick back for recommending this.  I just think it’s a cool idea.

Heart sing

My see-through red dress FINALLY arrived in the mail.

It’s the right size this time, thank goodness.

And wasn’t I surprised to discover that it comes with BUILT IN PANTIES?!

You know you’ve got a dress of questionable style when it comes with knickers sewn into it.

This means that I won’t need to wear the bottoms of my red bikini when I wear the dress, although I suppose for hygiene reasons I really should.

I’m not kidding myself.

I know this dress can only be worn to Burner parties and get togethers.

Out in the Default World, it would be too revealing.

See-through dresses are relegated to the realm of the supermodel and actress.

See Gigi and Bella Hadid or Miley Cyrus and Rose McGowan.

Definitely not destined to be worn by a 46 year old, thick thighed administrator living out her fantasies by playing with costuming and dress up.

But no matter.

You only live once and this dress makes my heart sing.

micro burn

This past weekend I had a socially distant burn at a nudist resort in the Santa Cruz Mountains and I had a blast!

The better part of the weekend was spent laying out by the pool in the sun watching naked people frolic in the water.

Of particular interest to me was a beautiful African American woman who brought her pet snakes with her and was often seen with a large albino boa wrapped around her body.

Things you just don’t see in the default world.

That’s why I love Burning Man.

Mentally, I’m always having to check myself and see if I’m in reality or a dream.

The wildlife was out and about during my stay and I saw (among other things) wild turkeys, deer, raptors, jay birds, finches and raccoons.

Of course, at the real burn there would be no wildlife, other than the burners who attend.

Burning Man is held on a dry, flat, alkaline lake bed and as such is really incompatible with life.

No, it wasn’t the same as the 80,000 person burn in the Black Rock Desert of Nevada, but it still held the mysticism of the Burn for me.

Because Burning Man is more than just an event in the desert.

It’s more than the Ten Principles used to guide it.

Burning Man lives in the hearts of the people it has touched and whenever two or more burners get together, there’s magic that happens.

Hugs are abundant as is authenticity and connection.

And I’d say my Micro Burn had that in spades.

Happy Burn, y’all

So how was the Micro Burn?

Pics aren’t allowed, so I’ll just have to tell you that it was amazing!

It was hotter than you can possibly imagine, like being inches from the sun on Sunday.

We all hung out in the shade at the pool, and everyone enjoyed the cooling water.

Except for me with my newly pierced ears.

I took a couple of cold outdoor showers then laid out to relax.

I passed out bubbly on Saturday night.

I managed to partake a little too much myself and had to excuse myself for a few minutes to attend to matters.

There was music, and lights, and dancing, and VR goggles and snakes and a trained falcon and a televised burn.

So much to do.

Even a melting man statue to be unveiled as the ice it was encased in SLOWLY melted.

Well, maybe not so slow due to the excessive heat wave we experienced.

All in all, I think everyone had a blast.

Of course we all miss the playa and I was lucky enough to have a friend who drove out to the Black Rock Desert and sent me back pictures of what was going on out there.

I can’t tell you how nostalgic it made me to see their smiling, dusty faces.

The nice thing is that we won’t have to wait in line during Exodus for hours just to make it to Gerlach, ten miles away.

The bad news is the Burn is over, however you decided to celebrate.

Happy Burn, y’all.

Missing Burning Man

This week and in the weeks leading up to it, I’m especially missing Burning Man.

We should all be out on the playa, sweaty and dusty and happy.

Instead we’re at home, sheltering in place, missing our community.

Camping is rapidly approaching and I am frantically packing for my trip.

I’m driving less than 10 miles away to partake in my Burning Man activities, which suits me just fine.

The good news is that the place I’m going to has a restaurant with pretty good food which caters to people with food allergies and sensitivities.

So all I need to bring is booze, snacks and my tent set up.

I’ve decided that I’m going to share champagne with the group so I’ve bought a few bottles of champagne.

Nothing like cold bubbly on a hot day to refresh oneself?

There is a pool available but the only pool activity I’ll be doing is lying next to the pool, sunning myself on account of my new piercings.

Who goes to a camping resort and doesn’t use the facilities?

I do, that’s who.

Through with this shit

I’m pleased to report that I’ve actually made plans for the holiday weekend.

This would be Burn Week at Burning Man in the Black Rock Desert of Nevada and so I’m celebrating by being as authentic as possible.

Yesterday, I wore a tutu for most of the day.

For Tutu Tuesday, of course.

Tomorrow, I’m wearing a halo for no other reason than I have a halo and I sort of want to look angelic.

This weekend I will be camping at a campground with some burner friends.

I expect it’s going to be a ton of fun as we try to cram all our joy and enthusiasm for Burning Man into a long weekend.

I am bringing four outfits – my witchy woman, smokeshow, white witch and angel costumes.

Two outfits are black, two outfits are white.

In CLASSIC fuck-your-burn fashion my period has decided to rear its ugly head just in time for my micro burn.

I can’t tell you how irritated I am to be heading out to a weekend’s worth of camping with Aunt Flo in tow.

But in TRUE radical-self-reliance fashion, I’m taking a note from a swinger friend’s handbook and fast-forwarding the shit out of my period.

I’m through with this.

Winner winner chicken dinner!

I’m sure it’s going to come as a GIANT SHOCK to everyone that my red dress arrived and was WAY TOO SMALL to even be considered as a fashion option.

Honestly, it looked like nylons, when I took it out of the box.

I laughed out loud.

LOL.

Unwilling to admit defeat, I decided to EXCHANGE this dress for one that is bigger.

The good news is that I showed the dress anyway to a good friend of mine.

Like any red-blooded hetero male, he acknowledged that it was an INCREDIBLE dress.

He also admitted that I will look AMAZING in it, regardless if I buy one that is less clingy.

Cling or no cling, it’s a winner in his book.

And it’s a winner in my book too.

Thick girl in a red dress

The truth about shopping for Burning Man, at least for me, is that I look for really outlandish clothes.

Bright colors.

Neon glow.

Weird patterns.

Strange styles.

Every now and then I stumble across a site that has tons of weird stuff and I go nuts.

Kikiriki is one of my favorites, though seldom do they make anything in my size.

Just the other day I stumbled across Asoph, which has really fun and occasionally tacky clothes.

Perfect for Burning Man events.

I bought a red polka dot mesh dress which I fell in love with:

Strange, isn’t it?

I can totally see me wearing it for Valentine’s Day or for a Red Party.

I totally object to the white bra the model is wearing underneath, however.

Instead, I bought a red high-waisted bikini to go with it:

Sure, it’s slightly funky.

And maybe even a little outrageous.

But it suits me, so I have to have it.

Thick girl in a red dress.

What could be better?

Hugs needed

I’m missing my Burning Man community something fierce.

I’ve managed to keep in touch with some people, like Nadine and Tejas, but overall I’m missing the camaraderie of the larger burner community.

There used to be get togethers every week, it felt like.

Now, we’re all sheltering in place in our own personal spaces, missing one another.

I for one can’t wait until the Shelter in Place order is lifted and small group gatherings are permitted.

More than anything, I DREAM about having a weekend campout, perhaps at a certain nudist resort in the Santa Cruz Mountains, with my friends.

I have costumes to test out, after all.

And I have free hugs to give (and receive).

Plus, there’s naked swimming and naked pool volleyball to be had.

I can just picture myself lounging in the hot tub, tasty beverage in hand, laughing with friends.

I suppose this is all just a way to say I miss everyone I used to see regularly at Burner events and I can’t wait to share hugs and affection with them when we do gather together again.

It’s hard to believe we won’t be at Burning Man together in 11 weeks.

Normally, I’d be in the throes of preparation for my trip but instead I’m just reorganizing supplies and dreaming of TTITD.

Hugs needed.

I’m lonely.