Smoke Show

I have decided my next costume will be titled “SMOKE SHOW.”

For a very obvious reason:

This is the tank I’m wearing with THIS delightful long fringe skirt:

Add a black high-waisted bikini and THIS lovely layered necklace and some boots and you got a lewk.

Please note:  Yes, I am aware I am not a smoke show.  But at Burning Man, I always FEEL like one, so I’m just gonna go with it.

Hold On

Super pink full moon last night, did you see it?

Supposedly, a pink moon signifies new birth, the promise of young buds in spring, and growth.

There’s been ZERO developments in my love life, not surprisingly.

We are in the middle of a pandemic and surviving is much more important than making a connection.

Although I am flirting with an Irishman in Scotland, a Brit in the United States, and not one but TWO AUSTRALIANS.

I have a SERIOUS NEED FOR DISTRACTION.

Sheltering-at-home has been harder for me this 5th week, mostly because my kids are suffering.

They clearly want to go out and be with friends and they can’t and it’s making them a little depressed.

I was feeling kind of lousy when a Facebook reminder popped up:

Virtual burner party, with a performance from my favorite bawdy songstress, who just happened to release a new video, The Unicorn Song.

[As a member of her Patreon, I got to see the video in preview so since it’s not on the internet, I’m just posting a link to all her OTHER videos which are equally depraved and irreverent.]

And just like that, my night improved.

We are not alone.

And we are all here for each other.

Hold on.

 

 

 

Fleur Delacour

Remember I had a sudden and instant desire to splurge on a Fleur Delacour hat:

Well the dress I have to go with it, while somewhat appropriate (it’s the right length and color) is not suitable for Burning Man:

There’s no way I’m wearing a velvet dress in the desert.

I’m not COMPLETELY nuts.

I need to make it a bit more burner-esque.

So I bought a light blue latex (or perhaps PVC vinyl) skirt to wear instead:

And I searched for a light blue camisole – something rather lightweight, to be honest.

I came across two VERY expensive options:

But there’s NO WAY I’m gonna spend even $50 on a shirt for Burning Man, the potential to get ruined it far too likely.

Plus, now that I look at it, the color is totally off.

Instead, I got this cami:

And this cape:

Fleur and her cohorts wear black nylons (I’ll substitute some black fishnet tights) and black and white saddle shoes:

Apart from needing a wand, I think I’ve got a Burning Man version of the outfit I can wear out.

Boho black lace outfit

I’ve been working on a black lace dress outfit for Burning Man on account of how much I liked my white lace dress outfit that I brought with me last year.

The premise is pretty simple:

Take a transparent lace dress and put a high-waisted bikini on underneath it.

Add a few accessories, like a belt, and you’re good to go.

So I bought a black lace dress off the internet:

And then I bought a bikini to go with the dress:

What I really want to add to it now is a bunch of bangles, a skinny bohemian scarf, AND A FAUX FUR VEST.

Plus some OUTRAGOUS boho earrings.

I realize that in all likelihood, the Burn will be cancelled this year and I will have nowhere to wear my outfits (new or old) due to social distancing, but it makes me feel good to be working on something.

Apocalypse

Just for shits and giggles, I came across a Google game and I played.

You enter your name plus “Apocalypse Costume” and look at the images that pop up:

Just want to point out all the BAD ASS BITCHES who turn up, including Michelle Rodriguez:

Truthfully, all this reminds me of is Burning Man:  Where people regularly wear dystopian clothing and adornments (for men and women) portraying their inner selves.

So give it a shot and see what turns up.

Maybe you’ll be inspired to revamp your wardrobe.

For sure, you’ll start wearing gloves and a mask.

As a burner, I have at least 3 masks which I use at the Burn – two RZ neoprene masks and my “disco” mask which is pretty but useless at doing anything except keeping me from touching my face:

Stay safe out there, my friends.

 

Fleur

More than anything, I want to find a dress like this in my size to complete my Harry Potter Fleur Delacour outfit:

Doesn’t it go PERFECTLY with my Fleur hat:

Mostly, I’m having trouble finding a dress because I want to be some kind of post-apocalyptic Fleur Delacour, with an eye catching cape dress maybe:

Sadly, I’m just not finding anything that wows me, except for this:

Leave it to me to fall in love with latex all over again!

UPDATE:  Turns out I already have the perfect dress in my closet already – a slinky light blue velvet dress I have yet to wear out:

Shelter in Place

Per government order, I am sheltering in place at home with my family.

It’s quite a thing we’re going through now and I confess I am having a hard time writing with all the worry that’s shooting around in my brain.

I’m sure the same worries are floating around in your head as well so I won’t beleaguer the topic.

The bad news is that I’m stuck in a house.

The good news is that so far we are all healthy.

I scoped out Amazon for wigs yesterday, wanting to find a wig for my Latex Velma costume.

At first I thought MAYBE I could get away with something edgy – like an orange wig with brown roots:

Then I decided against it because Velma is nothing if not a slave to her geeky fashion and ombre hair is just a little too hip for that hipster.

I was going to get this:

But then I remembered that the costume I bought for Velma automatically came with a brown bob wig and glasses, so BONUS!

I just saved some money.

Lisa from Weird Science

My royal blue suspender bathing suit bottom took a tour all over the world (by accident) before arriving at my house.

I anxiously opened the package only to realize with dismay that it was entirely too small to fit me.

Not horribly small, just not sized right.

[These things sometimes happen when ordering custom clothes from etsy.]

In any case, I decided to just buy a royal blue high-waisted bikini bottom:

And therefore the whole outfit:

Of course, I laughed about the costume with Tejas before he pointed out to me that the ENTIRE character of Lisa is a representation of men’s fantasies, which conflicts with my new goal to be less sexy and more real when it comes to how I behave.

The irony of being told this by the person who nicknamed me BOMBSHELL is not lost on me.

MOOP managed

The other day, while browsing Instagram, I came across a photo tagged with #BurningMan2018.

It was a photograph of a nearly naked Caucasian woman.

Covering her breasts were glitter and rhinestones.

She wore a tiny thong.

And on her head she wore a rainbow mohawk made of feathers.

Now.

I’m not a hater or an internet troll, but this picture bothered me.

It was an ideal representation of MOOP and cultural appropriation, two things I think Burning Man discourages.

Don’t get me wrong.

The woman was BEAUTIFUL.

And the picture was flawless.

But did it really represent Burning Man 2018?

No.

MOOP?

Yes.

MOOP is a HUGE problem at Burning Man and pictures like this promote the myth that things like glitter and questionably attached rhinestones are the norm at Burning Man.

Several people expressed their dislike of the photo in the comments section and I liked a comment that said, “This doesn’t represent Burning Man to me.”

The photographer responded with a “Hey, self-expression is encouraged at Burning Man.”

True.

But not when it creates MOOP.

Leave No Trace, buddy.

Anyway, I went back to Instagram to grab the photo for this post only to discover that it had been taken down.

Or perhaps the #BurningMan2018 hashtag had been removed.

MOOP managed.