Heart sing

My see-through red dress FINALLY arrived in the mail.

It’s the right size this time, thank goodness.

And wasn’t I surprised to discover that it comes with BUILT IN PANTIES?!

You know you’ve got a dress of questionable style when it comes with knickers sewn into it.

This means that I won’t need to wear the bottoms of my red bikini when I wear the dress, although I suppose for hygiene reasons I really should.

I’m not kidding myself.

I know this dress can only be worn to Burner parties and get togethers.

Out in the Default World, it would be too revealing.

See-through dresses are relegated to the realm of the supermodel and actress.

See Gigi and Bella Hadid or Miley Cyrus and Rose McGowan.

Definitely not destined to be worn by a 46 year old, thick thighed administrator living out her fantasies by playing with costuming and dress up.

But no matter.

You only live once and this dress makes my heart sing.

micro burn

This past weekend I had a socially distant burn at a nudist resort in the Santa Cruz Mountains and I had a blast!

The better part of the weekend was spent laying out by the pool in the sun watching naked people frolic in the water.

Of particular interest to me was a beautiful African American woman who brought her pet snakes with her and was often seen with a large albino boa wrapped around her body.

Things you just don’t see in the default world.

That’s why I love Burning Man.

Mentally, I’m always having to check myself and see if I’m in reality or a dream.

The wildlife was out and about during my stay and I saw (among other things) wild turkeys, deer, raptors, jay birds, finches and raccoons.

Of course, at the real burn there would be no wildlife, other than the burners who attend.

Burning Man is held on a dry, flat, alkaline lake bed and as such is really incompatible with life.

No, it wasn’t the same as the 80,000 person burn in the Black Rock Desert of Nevada, but it still held the mysticism of the Burn for me.

Because Burning Man is more than just an event in the desert.

It’s more than the Ten Principles used to guide it.

Burning Man lives in the hearts of the people it has touched and whenever two or more burners get together, there’s magic that happens.

Hugs are abundant as is authenticity and connection.

And I’d say my Micro Burn had that in spades.

Happy Burn, y’all

So how was the Micro Burn?

Pics aren’t allowed, so I’ll just have to tell you that it was amazing!

It was hotter than you can possibly imagine, like being inches from the sun on Sunday.

We all hung out in the shade at the pool, and everyone enjoyed the cooling water.

Except for me with my newly pierced ears.

I took a couple of cold outdoor showers then laid out to relax.

I passed out bubbly on Saturday night.

I managed to partake a little too much myself and had to excuse myself for a few minutes to attend to matters.

There was music, and lights, and dancing, and VR goggles and snakes and a trained falcon and a televised burn.

So much to do.

Even a melting man statue to be unveiled as the ice it was encased in SLOWLY melted.

Well, maybe not so slow due to the excessive heat wave we experienced.

All in all, I think everyone had a blast.

Of course we all miss the playa and I was lucky enough to have a friend who drove out to the Black Rock Desert and sent me back pictures of what was going on out there.

I can’t tell you how nostalgic it made me to see their smiling, dusty faces.

The nice thing is that we won’t have to wait in line during Exodus for hours just to make it to Gerlach, ten miles away.

The bad news is the Burn is over, however you decided to celebrate.

Happy Burn, y’all.

Missing Burning Man

This week and in the weeks leading up to it, I’m especially missing Burning Man.

We should all be out on the playa, sweaty and dusty and happy.

Instead we’re at home, sheltering in place, missing our community.

Camping is rapidly approaching and I am frantically packing for my trip.

I’m driving less than 10 miles away to partake in my Burning Man activities, which suits me just fine.

The good news is that the place I’m going to has a restaurant with pretty good food which caters to people with food allergies and sensitivities.

So all I need to bring is booze, snacks and my tent set up.

I’ve decided that I’m going to share champagne with the group so I’ve bought a few bottles of champagne.

Nothing like cold bubbly on a hot day to refresh oneself?

There is a pool available but the only pool activity I’ll be doing is lying next to the pool, sunning myself on account of my new piercings.

Who goes to a camping resort and doesn’t use the facilities?

I do, that’s who.

Through with this shit

I’m pleased to report that I’ve actually made plans for the holiday weekend.

This would be Burn Week at Burning Man in the Black Rock Desert of Nevada and so I’m celebrating by being as authentic as possible.

Yesterday, I wore a tutu for most of the day.

For Tutu Tuesday, of course.

Tomorrow, I’m wearing a halo for no other reason than I have a halo and I sort of want to look angelic.

This weekend I will be camping at a campground with some burner friends.

I expect it’s going to be a ton of fun as we try to cram all our joy and enthusiasm for Burning Man into a long weekend.

I am bringing four outfits – my witchy woman, smokeshow, white witch and angel costumes.

Two outfits are black, two outfits are white.

In CLASSIC fuck-your-burn fashion my period has decided to rear its ugly head just in time for my micro burn.

I can’t tell you how irritated I am to be heading out to a weekend’s worth of camping with Aunt Flo in tow.

But in TRUE radical-self-reliance fashion, I’m taking a note from a swinger friend’s handbook and fast-forwarding the shit out of my period.

I’m through with this.

Winner winner chicken dinner!

I’m sure it’s going to come as a GIANT SHOCK to everyone that my red dress arrived and was WAY TOO SMALL to even be considered as a fashion option.

Honestly, it looked like nylons, when I took it out of the box.

I laughed out loud.

LOL.

Unwilling to admit defeat, I decided to EXCHANGE this dress for one that is bigger.

The good news is that I showed the dress anyway to a good friend of mine.

Like any red-blooded hetero male, he acknowledged that it was an INCREDIBLE dress.

He also admitted that I will look AMAZING in it, regardless if I buy one that is less clingy.

Cling or no cling, it’s a winner in his book.

And it’s a winner in my book too.

Thick girl in a red dress

The truth about shopping for Burning Man, at least for me, is that I look for really outlandish clothes.

Bright colors.

Neon glow.

Weird patterns.

Strange styles.

Every now and then I stumble across a site that has tons of weird stuff and I go nuts.

Kikiriki is one of my favorites, though seldom do they make anything in my size.

Just the other day I stumbled across Asoph, which has really fun and occasionally tacky clothes.

Perfect for Burning Man events.

I bought a red polka dot mesh dress which I fell in love with:

Strange, isn’t it?

I can totally see me wearing it for Valentine’s Day or for a Red Party.

I totally object to the white bra the model is wearing underneath, however.

Instead, I bought a red high-waisted bikini to go with it:

Sure, it’s slightly funky.

And maybe even a little outrageous.

But it suits me, so I have to have it.

Thick girl in a red dress.

What could be better?

Hugs needed

I’m missing my Burning Man community something fierce.

I’ve managed to keep in touch with some people, like Nadine and Tejas, but overall I’m missing the camaraderie of the larger burner community.

There used to be get togethers every week, it felt like.

Now, we’re all sheltering in place in our own personal spaces, missing one another.

I for one can’t wait until the Shelter in Place order is lifted and small group gatherings are permitted.

More than anything, I DREAM about having a weekend campout, perhaps at a certain nudist resort in the Santa Cruz Mountains, with my friends.

I have costumes to test out, after all.

And I have free hugs to give (and receive).

Plus, there’s naked swimming and naked pool volleyball to be had.

I can just picture myself lounging in the hot tub, tasty beverage in hand, laughing with friends.

I suppose this is all just a way to say I miss everyone I used to see regularly at Burner events and I can’t wait to share hugs and affection with them when we do gather together again.

It’s hard to believe we won’t be at Burning Man together in 11 weeks.

Normally, I’d be in the throes of preparation for my trip but instead I’m just reorganizing supplies and dreaming of TTITD.

Hugs needed.

I’m lonely.

SoulFire 2016: The Heatstroke Chronicles

white witch michelleMaybe it was just me.

Maybe everyone else did just fine.

But I managed to get myself good and overheated as well as dehydrated at SoulFire TWO DAYS IN A ROW!

Tejas and I arrived on Friday at 10 am and set up camp in the heat. Once camp was set up we drank rum and cokes until I started to worry that I wasn’t getting enough liquid so I drank 3 diet cokes.

Just a word of advice: Diet Coke DOES NOT PREVENT DEHYDRATION.

No it does not.

Because at about 9 pm after battling a dehydration headache for about two hours, I gave up and went to bed with 3 Tylenol RIGHT WHEN THINGS WERE GETTING GOOD!

I laid there, freezing cold, wanting a bed partner to snuggle with while I recovered.

But no, there were no bed partners to be found.

I laid in bed until about 1 am, then got up to party only to find that the party was winding down.

So back to bed.

Try again another day.

Cue Saturday.

I’m drinking TONS of coconut water to keep me hydrated and yet with the 95 degree heat I still manage to overheat.

Dante took me to the Restaurant to sit in air conditioning and cool down.

I was dizzy walking up the hill to the Restaurant (even though I was wearing nothing but pink ruffled panties and a crochet bikini fringe top).

There was an art exhibit going on in the Restaurant and I found that if I positioned myself just right I could stare at a picture of a dolphin while the vent blew cold air up my butt.

It was amazing!

So, lessons learned:

Diet Coke is not the same as water

Coconut juice will not prevent overheating

Do what you need to take care of yourself

However, if you fuck up (like me) then friends are so helpful when you’re not feeling well.

Love to Tejas for giving me Tylenol and love to Dante for cooling me down.

michelle and tejas

Egyptian princess

I have a beautiful Egyptian collar that I bought for roughly $25 in 2016.

I have never worn it, but I love it and REFUSE to donate it, even though all it does is take up space in my jewelry cabinet.

So I’m thinking the perfect thing to do is to build an outfit around it, maybe even a burner outfit.

I got inspired by THIS photo on Pinterest:

Turn the white dress into a white bathing suit and add a gold belt (preferably not beaded so that it doesn’t MOOP) and you’ve got a LEWK!

But it doesn’t stop there.

Oh no!

Because I also fell in love with this gold and turquoise Egyptian look:

I think it’d be fabulous to take a diaphanous white or gold fabric and make those arm bands with them.

For makeup, I’m loving the look on this model:

And there you have it, everything I need for my Egyptian princess look.

I have only one hesitation.

Is it culturally appropriate for a Nordic woman to wear an Egyptian style costume or will I catch hell for wearing it?