Sweatsuit

At the latest Village meeting for Burning Man, the theme was Super heroes and Super Villains.

After contemplating several options, including quite a few Marvel villains, I decided to go with Natasha Romanoff (aka Black Widow).

The thing about the costume is that it JUST BARELY FIT.

Which means I was struggling to get into it.

AND I was struggling even harder to get out of it.

I struggled so hard to get out of it that I SPLIT THE ZIPPER!

Yes, indeed.

I busted the zipper while sitting on the toilet going pee.

Honestly, you spread your knees JUST A LITTLE BIT SO YOU CAN WIPE and WHOOPS!

You’ve busted your zipper.

TMI?

In any case, I took the outfit to Tejas’ house and he proceeded to stitch me into my costume with leather thread and an industrial strength needle.

This is important when sewing through a faux leather costume.

The important thing to note here is that I only had the capacity to stay as long as my bladder wasn’t full.

The minute I had to pee, I had to go home.

It’s an adventure, folks.

I’ve never backed down from a challenge.

I even drank beer when I was there.

In the end, I had a blast as a BLOND Black Widow.

Tejas made me take off my red wig.

He said I made a lousy redhead and I’m not sure he wasn’t’ right.

The addendum to this post is that when I got home, I had to pee rather desperately, but I couldn’t get out of my jumpsuit.

Did I pee my pants?

No.

I had to ask my 19 year old son for help.

You can imagine how THRILLED he was helping his mom out of a sweaty bodysuit.

I believe he let out a string of expletives then suggested that I “act my age.”

Never!

The adventure never ends

I must be going to Burning Man.

I know that I’ve made up my mind to go because I bought a Burner Express ticket from Black Rock City to Reno/Tahoe Airport at the end of the burn.

Aaaaannnd I bought my flight home.

I will literally arrive at 7 am and immediately head out to my son’s final MRI to prep him for his dermoid cyst removal surgery.

And then his surgery is the next day.

I know what you’re thinking.

You’re thinking, didn’t she say she felt unbalanced and needed to equalize in order to go to the burn?

Why yes, I did say that.

I would not be going to the Burn if I felt like I wasn’t doing better.

I’m so high on anti-anxiety meds I can’t even worry about a hangnail.

Sure, this may impact my drinking.

I may not consume as much as I usually do when I’m on vacation, but that’s a good thing.

So here’s the plan:

Thursday: Load up the Motorbeast with Tejas.

Friday: Drive to Reno in the Motorbeast and stay with my sister.

Saturday: Head into Black Rock City as early as possible. Expect 4 – 8 hour lines, even with Early Arrival.

Sunday through Sunday: Enjoy Burning Man (check out Scotchfest, enjoy the Saunadome, visit my friends in Ali Bar Bar, watch the man burn, get my cocksucking certificate for the 4th year in a row, ride on the Partysnail, check out the Slut Olympics. . .)

Monday: Leave on the Burner Express bus to go back to Reno and stay at my sister’s house (enjoy the hot tub after a thorough washing in her waterfall shower).

Tuesday: Fly home at butt-crack-o’clock in the morning. . .

And then the work begins as I look after my little boy (he’s 6’3” but he’s still little to me).

The adventure never ends. . .

 

 

Good Company

For the better part of last week I considered not going to Burning Man.

Yes, my son is the reason for this contemplation.

I know he’ll be fine.

And I know he’s going to be busy with his friends paying me no attention whatsoever, but still.

He’s my baby.

Truth be told, I’m not worried about him as much as I’m worried about me.

This whole head surgery business has got me stressed out (unsurprisingly).

I’m having trouble sleeping.

My anxiety levels are THROUGH THE ROOF.

And overall, I feel a little unbalanced.

Not EXACTLY the best mental state to be in when going to Burning Man.

I could literally lose it on playa and be a burden to my campmates.

And that’s not cool.

In 2016 I went to Burning Man a little off center and by the time it ended, I was a bitchy little thing.

That’s what 12 days in the desert will do to me apparently.

Even though I’m only looking at 10 days in the desert this time, I’m still nervous about holding it all together.

Burning Man is a seething cauldron of emotions and excitement.

Adventure and relaxation.

You never know what will bubble to the surface.

In the end, I decided that I will go to the Burn this year.

Not because I’m feeling better or have a better handle on my mental health going in, but because I figure I won’t be the only person going to Burning Man a few cans shy of a six-pack.

I’ll be in good company!

 

Love and Connection

For the better part of three days, Lupin Lodge was transformed into the Bare Burn.

My eyes drank in the sights – from the beautiful black and white Bacchanalia-style décor to the gorgeous people who gathered around the pool and hot tub to soak and socialize.

There was a couple with a big light up mushroom hat which faded from color to color, rhythmically.

There was another colorful couple who offered coconut oil massages to guests and I carefully peeked inside their tent every time I passed to see if I could sneak in for a quick massage.

The pool was filled to the brim with naked bodies, enjoying the sunshine and fresh air.

At night, a crowd of people would gather on the Main Lawn to enjoy the music coming from the DJ booth.

All our DJs knocked it out of the park when it came to spinning creative, chill, fun tunes for everyone to enjoy.

If I close my eyes, I can smell the lawn and see all the people bobbing and dancing to the music of the Silent Disco, a genius addition to the Bare Burn (thanks Marco and Mark for your contribution)!

The entire event was selflessly supported by the Bare Burn Leadership Team and I have to thank everyone for being responsible and engaged during the event.

It was a magical place free from judgment and filled with connection and love.

On my part, I could feel my friendships deepening and becoming fuller and stronger.

I hope laughter flowed as freely as all the wine we were drinking and that everyone who attended felt loved and connected.

Because what I think the Bare Burn is all about is community.

Connection.

Authenticity.

And love.

I certainly experienced all of it in spades this weekend.

As did everyone else, I hope.

Coke jokes

I might have let it slip among my friends at the Bare Burn that I nicknamed my friend “Coke Can Dan.”

I might have said, “I call him Coke Can Dan” but his real name is John so you better not call him Dan.

And they were good about it.

They never called him Dan.

But there we were at the Bare Burn, and literally all my friends were making Coke jokes.

Honestly, it didn’t bother Coke Can Dan.

He’s used to be heralded at parties and the like by women, much like myself, who can’t seem to keep their mouth shut about getting STUFFED!

Sometimes I wonder what it must be like, to have an appendage so big it needs its own zip code.

When lubrication isn’t a suggestion but a NECESSITY.

I joked with Coke Can Dan and told him that my lady parts could comfortably accommodate something half the size of his parts.

And in a way, that’s true.

When it comes to sparkling beverages, I’m more of a Red Bull kind of gal than a Coke Can kind of gal.

Of course, I’m being converted.

You all may get a giggle out of this post and wonder, silently, if I’m walking all right or if I have to step gingerly.

The answer is I can walk just fine, but I’d probably benefit from sitting on an ice pack.

Disappointed

The Swede is not coming to Burning Man.

I would say that I’m sad about it, but in truth I saw it coming and was resigned to it before it even happened.

I was really looking forward to having him there and seeing Burning Man through the eyes of someone who has never been there before.

He was a good sport about it, and I have to give him credit for that.

Not everyone wants to spend a week in a hot and dusty desert surrounded by freaks, hippies, ravers, artists and musicians.

I think he initially agreed to go simply because of my enthusiasm for the event.

But it’s not like I’m going to Burning Man by myself.

I’ll be traveling with Tejas and I have my whole camp there as my small community within the larger Burning Man community to keep me entertained and connected.

Still, it gives me pause.

I will miss The Swede.

And even though I was expecting this, I am sad to lose his companionship.

I will have to send him pics and texts from the burn.

It’s not the same as being there, but it’s the best I can do to let him know that he is missed.

Sore

To be honest, I’m a little bit out of it right now.

It probably has something to do with a little bit of sleep deprivation, drinking, and frolicking with friends at the Bare Burn.

It could also have something to do with all the WORK that went into producing the event.

I didn’t get home from the Bare Burn until 10:30 pm Sunday night.

Lupin, if you haven’t been there, is on a steep hill and so I spent the ENTIRE weekend going up and down and up and down the hill.

By the end of the weekend, I was ALMOST used to it.

But today, there is this soreness that has settled into my legs and I realize that what I did all weekend long going up and down the hill is a lot like doing a million squats.

Hopefully my ass looks nice and perky from all the exercise.

In case you were wondering, I did get to spend some time relaxing at the pool and socializing with friends, it wasn’t ALL work.

I also managed to squeeze in some mattress dancing with my friend Coke Can Dan.

It was nice having him there because apart from the OBVIOUS reason, his presence reminded me to find time to chill, explore, and relax.

I’m not sure I would’ve relaxed as much without him there.

If you must know, more than my leg muscles are sore.

I should be walking like a bow legged cowboy.

And I sort of need to sit on a ice pack ALL DAY LONG to recover from the vigorous entertainment he provided.

Despite all these sore muscles however, rest assured that there is a BIG smile on my face.

Huge!

Stressed

The first thing you need to know about producing a “burner-esque” event in the Santa Cruz Mountains is that IT IS A LOT OF WORK!

It would be ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE without the help of a team of talented people helping to organize it.

I spent the better part of Wednesday pouring through emails, creating spreadsheets, picking up checks, and putting out fires.

It’s the last minute details that will get you.

The thing about burner events, is that nothing goes as planned.

Everything has a kink in it.

Which is STRESSFUL for someone who PLANS THINGS OUT for a living.

But yes, I must agree.

In my experience Burning Man is what happens when you plan something wonderful, and something extraordinary happens.

So TECHNICALLY, I shouldn’t be stressed.

Because no matter what I do, things will be EXTRAORDINARY!

But I’m stressed.

So stressed, I’m reduced to self medicating with alcohol.

Vodka lemonade, to be exact.

I’ll survive, I know I will.

It’s just being at the forefront of an event designed to entertain and enthrall guests that has me SUPER STRESSED OUT.

Do you think it’ll be easier next year????

 

Cuddle Puddle

cuddleI’m pretty sure my first experience in a cuddle puddle was at a HAI Level 1 retreat at Harbin Hot Springs.

There was a break in the activity and some of us opted to lay down on a pile of pillows.

Snuggling and cuddling just happened.

Try to imagine prickly, stuffy old me being invited into a cuddle puddle with a bunch of relaxed, down-to-earth people.

But I’ll try anything and so I did.

I laid down with virtual strangers and gave myself over to the experience.

And it was amazing.

Now I know it’s hard to picture me enjoying snuggling.

Everyone knows I’m an action girl and I scoff at snuggling (at least until after the main event).

But this appealed to me.

The smiling. The hand holding. The gentle touches. The bodies cuddled up to mine.

I was relaxed and enjoying myself.

Fast forward eight years and I’m at SoulFire in a cuddle puddle with two women and a man.

Same result.

Relaxing, snuggling, cuddling, soft sensation.

It was all too brief but satisfying.

So here I am looking at my inbox today and there’s a new invitation to a Santa Clara cuddle puddle.

Do I want to go?

Hell yes.

Then what’s stopping me?

Probably the fear that it won’t be my scene. That I won’t feel a connection to any of the people there.

Maybe I’m a little bit afraid of the person I might become if I finally let my hunger for intimacy out into the open without the post-coital justification there to mitigate it.

Maybe I’ll have to admit there’s more to intimacy than just sex.

And that I am woefully BAD AT IT.

Maybe…

 

Collars up the wazoo

Honestly.

You buy one teensy weensy little collar and all of a sudden etsy SLAMS you with ads for BDSM accouterments.

collarFirst of all, I wasn’t even AWARE that there’s something out there called “Kitten Play.”

Although I imagine it’s probably a lot like “Puppy Play” which I have heard of.

I’m not into Furries, though.

I would likely NEVER wear a collar that says “Kitten.” Too soft and girly for me.

Personally, I’d go with “Fucktoy.”

OMG, I can’t believe I wrote that.

Too much honesty?

In any case, I bought a white leather collar to wear with my white wizard outfit.

collarAnd then I bought a rainbow chainmail collar with a heart hanging off it for my rainbow outfits.

collar rainbowAnd oh yeah, I bought a unicorn collar, just for shits and giggles.

collarSo I guess etsy isn’t too far off in recommending collars for me. I certainly seem to be acquiring quite a few for my collection.

Can’t wait to wear at SoulFire!