Ariana Grande meets Tank Girl

I’m going to tell you an old story.

I went to the unSCruz festival in Santa Cruz in May of 2017.

I didn’t go alone.

I brought The Swede with me.

Because I had a guest with me, I went nuts planning my outfits, including all my nighttime attire.

I bought this black, strappy teddy to wear to sleep, similar to this:

You know, to TEMPT The Swede.

So there I am, at night, in a tent, a little bit tipsy, in the dark, trying to get into this strappy black teddy.

I could not for the life of me figure out how to put it on.

And The Swede was watching, which made me feel EXTRA awkward.

Also?

It was freezing cold, so it seemed like a poor idea to sleep in next to nothing.

In the end, I scrapped my black lingerie plans and put on all the warm clothes I had INCLUDING a full length faux fur jacket.

Yeah, it was THAT cold.

I’m telling all of you this because I actually CONSIDERED getting the rave star bikini top for my Ariana Grande meets Tank Girl costume despite the fact that it’s probably designed for a C-cup or smaller:

Then I remembered how bad I am at figuring out how to put on strappy lingerie.

So I’ve decided that I won’t be wearing a star bikini top to Burning Man.

I will HOWEVER buy one of these to wear over whatever top I decide on (most likely a black bikini halter top from my current collection of swim suits):

It goes nicely with my pseudo Tank Girl theme, don’t you think?

Valentine’s Day 2020

I had a WONDERFUL Valentine’s Day!

First of all I drove my mom to the airport so I had an early start to my Friday which meant when my office closed early for the holiday weekend, I got to start my weekend EVEN EARLIER!

Woot!

Many people sent me text messages wishing me a Happy Valentine’s Day.

I mean, how can you be SOUR when your friends and family pepper you with love?!

Then I took an uber to Campbell and I had a lovely dinner with Nadine before we commenced drinking and socializing with our friends for the Onesie Pub Crawl.

We hopped around from bar to bar and at each location, I drank a gin and tonic or two.

Round about 11 pm everyone headed to my least favorite spot In downtown Campbell so I called it a night and proceeded to head home.

Where I spent the next fee hours swiping right and left on Tinder.

Ah ha ha!

All in all, it truly was a lovely day and an even better evening.

I really had a blast watching people’s faces LIGHT UP when they spotted us in our crowd of onesies.

But the BEST part of the evening had to be when a firetruck filled with handsome firemen drove by me on the street and I caught the fireman on the rig smiling reflexively when they saw us.

Happy Valentine’s Day indeed!

Classy, sassy and a little smart assy

First of all, I am NOT working on another costume inspired by this model/celebrity:

But IF I were, the first thing I’d notice is that it’s rather easy to purchase a “PLUS SIZE BLACK THONG BIKINI BOTTOM.”

Etsy, FTW!

It is remarkably HARD however to find a transparent mesh bodysuit to wear over it [NOTE TO SELF:  It’s only hard until you check lingerie sites like Yandy.com and SpicyLingerie.com]

And right about the time I googled “plus size see-through jumpsuit” I started to wonder if perhaps in my enthusiasm for the “Buss It” phenomenon sweeping TIkTok that I might be going a bit TOO FAR in the costume department.

I am a 47 year old mother who probably doesn’t need to hang my ass out for all to see.

And I maybe took a second to snap a few pics of what appealed to me, no matter how bright and bold:

Realizing that all these jumpsuits are pretty ridiculous and I don’t need to buy them.

And then I stumbled across the Shangri La of jumpsuits:

Now of course, you’re thinking I’m crazy but picture it with these earrings:

And THIS hair:

Add a pair of roller skates and some doublemint gum and I am the rolling 70s!

Spanx you very much

With all the planning and purchasing and designing that went in to my Strawberry Dress would you be surprised to learn that I have every last detail of the outfit ironed out EXCEPT the dress?!

That’s right!

I have a strawberry hat, a strawberry necklace, strawberry earrings, strawberry shoes, strawberry purse, strawberry wallet, strawberry bag charm, and strawberry nails BUT I HAVE NO DRESS!

It’s not for lack of trying.

I’ve bought three strawberry dresses.

The first two were just a bit too tight.

So I finally found a source with larger sizes.

But it has yet to arrive.

In the meantime, I received a strawberry bikini in the mail.

Size 2XL.

But I’m afraid that size 2XL in this bikini is a size 8 in the USA and I am more voluptuous than that.

So I have two strawberry dresses and one strawberry bikini that need to be returned.

I’ve decided that the strawberry bikini is completely unnecessary and I wonder what prompted me to buy it in the first place.

Mama don’t need no size 8 bikini for under her strawberry dress, no!

Mama needs SPANX!

Feeling BLUE

I decided to revisit my electric blue velvet jumpsuit.

Instead of adding a blue fascinator, as I was planning on doing, I’ve opted to wear the jumpsuit with a blue fedora adorned with a pearl ribbon.

I think it makes for a much edgier outfit and I like the way the hat screams “I’m in charge.”

Of course this means I can finally accessorize and I’ve decided to go with a multi=strand pearl choker.

I don’t yet have earrings but I imagine and pearl earrings will do.

I did finally buy a pair of shoes to wear (which I HOPE aren’t too painful to wear).

And for a final touch, the purse:

And there you have it.

Now I just need an excuse to wear it!

2020 Costumes

2020 was a pretty slow year, as far as socializing goes.

No burner parties, no social gatherings.

Just sheltering in place.

And while I sheltered in place, here are the outfits I worked on in 2020:

My vinyl Velma costume, complete with red vinyl skirt and orange knee socks.

My Fleur Delacour costume from Harry Potter.

My smokeshow costume – to be worn at Burning Man 2021 (hopefully).

My witchy woman costume, worn for the Micro Burn (the one time I did go out).

Who doesn’t love themselves some Spaceballs?  Here is my Barf costume for Burning Man 2021.

My Egyptian costume, just a fun outfit for Burning Man.

My red sheer dress outfit.  I’ve got all the accessories, now do I have the balls to wear it?

Wednesday Addams, because she’s a bad ass bitch!

Pretty Woman costume, because I just couldn’t help myself.

Cher from Clueless, I bought two versions of the same costume, only one fit.  So my cousin Jennifer got the one that was too small.

Miss Piggy – only my most EPIC Halloween costume EVER!

An electric blue velvet jumpsuit, because you can never own too  much velvet!

The strawberry dress.  I’m so in love.  Enough said.

So maybe I didn’t work on as many outfits as I would have if covid had not happened, but I worked on a tidy bunch of costumes and I think they turned out great.

Now I just need to take pictures in them.

Strawberry Fever

In case you’re wondering the depths to which I travel when I’m working on a new outfit for Burning Man, here is a visual:

Dress (Amazon – $23.99)

Wedge heels (Amazon – $54.99)

Beret (Amazon – $21.99)

Strawberry appliqués (Etsy – $1.35/5)

Strawberry pendant (Etsy – $22.90)

Gold necklace (Etsy – $20.00)

Earrings (ebay – $40.00)

Bag (Amazon – $20.99)

Wallet (Amazon – $25.99)

Charm (Amazon – $7.99)

Strawberry nails (Etsy – $25.00)

Pink heart sunglasses (Birdy Grey – $6.00)

Strawberry enamel bracelet (Ali Express – $14.14)

Apparently this dress has its own following on TikTok, all you need to do is search for “Strawberry Dress” and it pops up all over.

I’m not much of a pink person but since this dress sang to me (and many many others) I decided to buy it and accessorize it.

But now you don’t have to choose between your inner pink princess and your dark goth tendencies because they make the dress in BLACK now:

Isn’t it beautiful in black too?

Strawberry Beret

I found the PERFECT hat to go with my STRAWBERRY DRESS:

Sadly, it’s all sold out so I will have to make my own STRAWBERRY HAT if I want to have one.

I started with a pale peachy pink beret with rhinestones:

And I’ll add several cute kawaii strawberries:

And voila!

A perfect STRAWBERRY beret to go with my outfit.

Mind you, I still have NOWHERE to wear this outfit, but when has that ever stopped me from working on a project?

Oh covid, how I HATE thee!

The Strawberry Dress

I’m not sure I can write a word right now unless it has something to do with The Strawberry Dress.

That’s right, I have a CRAZY strawberry dress.

It’s pink tulle with red strawberries and it’s SO DREADFUL that it’s perfect.

I’m not sure I can wear it anywhere else besides a burner event, but for better or worse, I’m now the proud owner of a really FRILLY, totally WACKO, and completely UNUSUAL strawberry dress.

And you know what you need to go with a strawberry dress, do you not?

Oh, how I wish the answer to that was a $2,000+ strawberry Gucci bag. . .

But instead I got these:

Nowadays you need to match your outfit to a suitable mask, you know.

I’m scoping out strawberry handbags, necklaces and earrings but when I started checking out strawberry hats, I had to slow my roll. . .

. . . and get these strawberry nails from Shein instead:

But then I saw these:

And I was a goner.

Send help.

No Santa Cons

I’m horribly disappointed this year.

There are no Santa Cons.

To me, the south bay Santa Cons are a hallmark of the coming festivities and I LOVE to get dressed up and attend.

Every year I go as something different.

I’ve been a reindeer, a Grinch, Mrs. Claus, a Santa-ette and a lavender Christmas cutie.

More than anything though I miss seeing my friends.

It was so nice to go from bar to bar, sipping on drinks and socializing with friends.

So take a walk with me down memory lane and see some of my past Santa Con pics:

Pour yourself a glass of your favorite beverage, hop on a zoom with your favorite friends and have a little Santa Con!

Merry Christmas to one and all!