Sweatsuit

At the latest Village meeting for Burning Man, the theme was Super heroes and Super Villains.

After contemplating several options, including quite a few Marvel villains, I decided to go with Natasha Romanoff (aka Black Widow).

The thing about the costume is that it JUST BARELY FIT.

Which means I was struggling to get into it.

AND I was struggling even harder to get out of it.

I struggled so hard to get out of it that I SPLIT THE ZIPPER!

Yes, indeed.

I busted the zipper while sitting on the toilet going pee.

Honestly, you spread your knees JUST A LITTLE BIT SO YOU CAN WIPE and WHOOPS!

You’ve busted your zipper.

TMI?

In any case, I took the outfit to Tejas’ house and he proceeded to stitch me into my costume with leather thread and an industrial strength needle.

This is important when sewing through a faux leather costume.

The important thing to note here is that I only had the capacity to stay as long as my bladder wasn’t full.

The minute I had to pee, I had to go home.

It’s an adventure, folks.

I’ve never backed down from a challenge.

I even drank beer when I was there.

In the end, I had a blast as a BLOND Black Widow.

Tejas made me take off my red wig.

He said I made a lousy redhead and I’m not sure he wasn’t’ right.

The addendum to this post is that when I got home, I had to pee rather desperately, but I couldn’t get out of my jumpsuit.

Did I pee my pants?

No.

I had to ask my 19 year old son for help.

You can imagine how THRILLED he was helping his mom out of a sweaty bodysuit.

I believe he let out a string of expletives then suggested that I “act my age.”

Never!

Eliza Doolittle

I have a deep affection for My Fair Lady.

It comes from years of watching the movie with my parents while I was growing up.

My Fair Lady and The Sound of Music.

My parents were big on musicals.

So you can imagine my excitement to discover that My Fair Lady was playing on TV the other day.

I immediately sat down to watch it.

And wouldn’t you know it, my appreciation of it was only amplified by its absence in my life for the last four decades.

Yes, indeed.

I had a newfound appreciation for it, looking upon it with my new, wiser eyes and mature mind.

Take the Ascot scene.

I had forgotten that each woman who was dressed up for that scene was a work of art.

The dresses.

The hats.

The monochromatic color scheme.

And the lyrics?

I never realized that they were so tongue-in-cheek growing up.

My adult ears heard the lyrics about the attendees getting “excited” and “keyed up” whilst they outwardly exhibit absolutely no passion at all.

More than ever, I am convinced that I need to create a My Fair Lady Ascot outfit for cosplay.

I love it more than anything and have done research on it.

I’ve ALREADY been working on it!

Of course, if I can think it, then it’s already been done, as evidenced by this My Fair Lady inspired wedding.

I may not be the first one to the party, but I’m sure going to KILL IT when I arrive.

Á la Eliza Doolittle!

Lesson Learned

I am notorious for buying outfits for themed events – such as the Star Wars Party or 80s Rock Stars Party – and then not trying the clothes on until just before the event.

Sometimes, this results in a few snafus.

For instance, I got this lovely dress for the Teal and Lavender Party.

I’m going to tell you right now, how I managed to find the PERFECT dress is a total mystery to me, but there you have it, a dress with TEAL and LAVENDER!

I snapped it up.

Unfortunately, it didn’t REALLY come in my size so I had to hope that the forgiving cut of the design would accommodate my curves.

There I am, getting dressed in the hotel and I try to slip on the dress and OH GOD, IT’S STUCK ON MY BOOBS.

Sure enough, the dress was long and flowing but the under slip was tight and form fitting and I SWEAR I HAD TO STUFF MY BOOBS INTO THAT SLIP LIKE I WAS STUFFING A WATERMELON INTO A SAUSAGE CASING.

Fortunately, it made wearing a bra totally unnecessary.

I turned to look at myself in the mirror and that’s when I noticed. . .

The dress was pretty much see-through.

Yup, if you stared at it, you could see everything – my panties, my lack of a bra, my nipples, even my flipping belly button!

Now, what you need to know is that I had a second dress with me.

A long tie dye maxi dress.

So I technically COULD HAVE changed into that.

But I was so determined that I was going to wear that beautiful ombre dress that I refused to change.

Instead I brought the second dress with me as a “wardrobe change.”

I spent most of the evening sitting in the shade at the party, trying to hide my nakedness from the partygoers.

Until it came time to jump in the hot tub.

Then the clothes came off. . .

Put your money where your mouth is

Well, I did it.

I bought my Freddie Mercury costume.

Incidentally, in case you’re wondering what the hardest part about crafting this costumes is, it’s finding those freaking white track pants with the red side stripe.

Red track pants with white side stripe, no problem.

But white with red?

Not so easy.

Turns out, I had to buy baseball pants to get what I need.

I mean yes, that red stripe should be wider, but I can’t be too picky for this costume or it’ll never be completed.

I also got a lovely white t-shirt with a v-neck to go with it.

And, just to be as realistic as I can be considering I’m a blond woman with breasts and a pussy and not a Persian man from Zanzibar with chest hair and a mustache, I got some hairy accessories to go with:

Of course, this outfit would be COMPLETELY incomplete without this:

I swear, it gives me chills just thinking about slipping on this costume.  I can’t wait to pair it all with the LED light up white sneakers:

They’re not quite Freddie Mercury style but they are burner style and so I’m going to wear them to complete the outfit.

Can’t wait for my birthday now and the chance to wear my costume!

Goddess

New outfit alert!

I’m going to an event where the theme is Bacchanalia.

Well, I’m not only GOING to the event, I’m helping to PRODUCE it.

It’s not until July, so I have a little time to work on my Bacchanalia costume.

It’s a little known fact that not everyone likes my playa name, Bombshell.

I was given that name by Tejas and it just stuck so I accepted it.

But a close friend of mine SWEARS that my playa name should be Goddess and so that’s what she calls me.

So you can imagine, I expect she’ll get a thrill when I actually dress the part.

I picked out a standard white maxi dress to wear:

Then I selected a crown worthy of Bacchus himself.

I think the two will be lovely together.

Add accessories – sandals, necklace, belt, and bracelets.

And voila!

We have an outfit.

Just to be complete, I threw in a faux fur white cape.

Now, the trick is going to be not being so busy with the event that I miss out on wearing my new outfit!

And of course, not repeating what happened to me the last time I wore a white goddess dress (I sprayed myself from head to toe with grape soda!).

Tie Dye vs Ombre

Don’t you just LOVE Geminis?

I know I do.

I grew up with one (my sister).

They are incredibly loyal and fiercely protective of those they love.

But Geminis have two sides to them and you do not want to cross them.

You’ll feel the heat.

I will be celebrating another Gemini’s birthday this weekend.

MotherP is having a birthday celebration.

The theme is her favorite colors – teal and lavender.

All my lavender and teal clothes are “work appropriate” and not exactly “party material” so of course I had to go shopping for something better.

I found this tie dye dress which seemed to fit the bill.

But it’s coming from Hong Kong, which means sizing and on time delivery are questionable so I HAD to get a backup dress:

This one I LOVE.

It’s so pretty with all it’s colors bleeding into each other.

Way more subtle transitions than tie dye.

Of course, I’m not sure the fascinator hat I bought will work with BOTH outfits:

Which one do you like?

Superheroes and Supervillains

I’m working on a new costume.

This time, it’s for a Village meeting in July.

The party theme is Superheroes and Supervillains.

I first checked out SUPERVILLAIN costumes:

Like Emma Frost, who only resembles me in that she is blond with big boobs.

But crafting that costume seemed a little complicated

And honestly, I don’t have the balls to wear something that skimpy.

So I kept looking.

Personally, I love She-Ra, Princess of Power.

But since she is neither a Marvel or a DC comic book character, I scrapped my plans to do her.

Finally, I settled on a costume.

Natasha Romanoff, aka Black Widow.

There’s a few reasons why.

#1 – I bear a slight resemblance to Scarlett Johansson.

#2 – I’ve always wanted to be a redhead.

#3 – Black Widow KICKS ASS in Avengers!

Luckily, I found a company that makes cosplay costumes and they agreed to work on mine.

So come July, I’ll be slipping my body into a black bodysuit and transforming into Black Widow.

Riiiiiiight after I encase my body in full length head-to-toe SPANX.

Thank you very much!

Rainbow Bright

I have fallen in love.

No, it’s not what you’re thinking.

I’m not quitting my job and moving to Sweden.

Oh, my Swedish is ATROCIOUS!

No.

I’ve fallen in love with a summer dress.

Don’t you just love it too?

I have a fundraiser coming up and I’ve decided I’m going to wear it for the fundraiser.

I bought a pair of yellow heels:

And a cute little yellow flower fascinator to wear.

I’m not sure why I get captured by outfits the way I do.

I’m going to a Village meeting this Saturday and I’m wearing a steampunk outfit to that:

But this rainbow striped dress?

So lovely!

YOLO

Finally!

I’m getting to work on a costume that ISN’T RELATED TO BURNING MAN.

I’m so excited!

It’s for the Beerhound group I’m a part of.

They’re doing a Sazerac Safari!

And my favorite cocktail?

SAZERAC!

And the theme???

You guessed it!

SAFARI!

I actually have nothing even REMOTELY safari-esque with the exception of some khaki cropped pants and an olive green jacket.

But I wanted A DRESS.

A safari dress.

With lots of pockets and a trim little belt.

And lo and behold, I FOUND IT!

Granted, I found a few dresses that were more suitable, but overall I’m pleased with this dress.

I have a nice belt to go with it.

And I bought a pith helmet, khaki boots and some accessories:

Just to be cheeky and to FULLY EMBRACE THE THEME.

Because I considered a nice, floppy, wide-brimmed hat instead, which I would get WAY MORE USE OUT OF.

But you know, YOLO!

I could have danced all night

A volunteer organization I have worked with in the past is holding a Derby Fundraiser, complete with bourbon tasting.

Yum!

Now, I am not one to skip the opportunity to dress up and wear a fancy hat.

No siree!

Nor am I the type to skip a little bourbon tasting.

I love me some Maker’s Mark!

But since I’m a little nutty, I thought, “Wouldn’t it be nice to combine cosplay AND derby?”

Check out this $995 custom gown on etsy. . .

And two custom hats:

Now, I’m NOT saying I’m going.

Seriously, WHO would I take as a date?

But I am saying, IF I went, then I’d probably cosplay Eliza Doolittle.

Perfect rags to riches story.

Of course, wearing turtleneck longsleeve dresses is not my forte.

Why hide my assets under layers of lace and ribbon?

Still, it might be fun to adopt a British accent (I’m actually APPALLING at accents), and pretend to be a lady of leisure who sips bourbon and raises money for charities.

Two out of three ain’t bad!