I could have danced all night

A volunteer organization I have worked with in the past is holding a Derby Fundraiser, complete with bourbon tasting.

Yum!

Now, I am not one to skip the opportunity to dress up and wear a fancy hat.

No siree!

Nor am I the type to skip a little bourbon tasting.

I love me some Maker’s Mark!

But since I’m a little nutty, I thought, “Wouldn’t it be nice to combine cosplay AND derby?”

Check out this $995 custom gown on etsy. . .

And two custom hats:

Now, I’m NOT saying I’m going.

Seriously, WHO would I take as a date?

But I am saying, IF I went, then I’d probably cosplay Eliza Doolittle.

Perfect rags to riches story.

Of course, wearing turtleneck longsleeve dresses is not my forte.

Why hide my assets under layers of lace and ribbon?

Still, it might be fun to adopt a British accent (I’m actually APPALLING at accents), and pretend to be a lady of leisure who sips bourbon and raises money for charities.

Two out of three ain’t bad!

Live Boldly

I am notorious for having a messy room.

The kind where you can’t see the floor through all the clothing on it.

It’s partially because I have a small closet.

And also because I have a shit ton of clothes.

Not to mention costumes.

The other day, I cleaned up my room and when I did, I came across this:

Yes, it’s a fishnet maxi dress.

I didn’t even remember having it, let alone buying it.

But I like it a lot.

And I am SO HOPING that I’m bold enough to wear it at the burn because I just got this to go with it:

Because what do you wear under a sheer dress?

A high waisted black bikini.

If Ashley Graham can do it, so can I.

Now, I have bought high waisted bikinis many times to wear at the burn.

Don’t forget my triple-waste-of-time-and-money bikini bottoms:

I certainly haven’t quite mastered the art of living boldly.

But I’ve got all the accessories!

Thick thighs and all

I’ve been putting together costumes for unSCruz.

Warm ones with onesies:

The thing is, I told a friend about my onesie fest and she kinda gave me a look that said, “But what if it’s hot?”

And ever since then I’ve been thinking about unSCruz being warm.

My first year it rained.

My second year it was cold.

My third year was warm.

It’s really hard to predict what the weather will be so I have to be prepared for everything, in a location somewhat close to the Pacific Ocean, where the weather can be super hot or alarmingly cold.

I’ve got two outfits for Burning Man, my Peacock outfit and my Butterfly outfit:

They’ll be completely assembled by May and I could definitely wear them at unSCruz if it’s warm.

The trick, of course, if working up the confidence to slip into a pair of short shorts and show the world my thick ass thighs.

I always cringe a little when I show my legs.

I am no Heidi Klum.

But the ONE PLACE you should be able to go judgment-free is unSCruz so I’m going to muster up the courage, place one foot in front of the other, and wander the rows in unSCruz, oblivious to the looks I’m getting.

Mind you, I have no intention of standing next to my beautiful skinny friends – you know who you are.

But I’ll be out there doing my best to be comfortable in my own skin.

Thick thighs and all.

Peacocking

So a dear friend of mine is a lover of all things peacock.

Her house is peacock blue.

Her nails are teal.

Even her eyeliner is turquoise.

So I’m putting together a peacock outfit to go with all her peacock trimmings.

Here’s the peacock kimono I fell in love with:

And I’m combining it with a bunch of peacock accessories:

And voilá!

My peacock outfit is complete.

You might think that it would be easy to find peacock accessories, but I’m here to tell you not so.

So many accessories are feathered and beaded – all things that cause MOOP, it was INSANELY hard to find accessories that worked with the outfit but didn’t cause MOOP.

In the end, I triumphed, though.

 

Metamorphosis

I’m working on an outfit for the Metamorphosis theme of Burning Man this year.

I fell in LOVE with this gorgeous light blue butterfly kimono:

Does anything represent metamorphosis more than a butterfly?

I think not.

So I bought the kimono and to go with it I have a beautiful ombre wig:

To be perfectly honest, I’m not sure how many showers I’ll get to take at Burning Man so I’m bringing wigs to cover up my ratty playafied hair.

Since I’m not planning on going naked UNDER the kimono, I’ve got a pair of white jeans shorts and a white crochet cami to go with it:

And (just to make things interesting) I have a pair of BABY BLUE antennae to wear with the outfit.

Just to show that I have indeed metamorphosized into a beautiful butterfly-woman.

I was tempted to buy little butterflies to put in my hair but MOOP.

And we can’t have MOOP!

So let’s see how long my white shorts stay white now, shall we?

Shopping for the Burn

I’ve been on etsy.

Scoping out the site for some awesome new threads to wear at Burning Man.

And etsy never disappoints.

There’s always something there to tantalize me.

I bought a GORGEOUS peacock kimono:

It made me think of a dear friend whose favorite color is peacock blue so I’m going to build a whole outfit around this peacock kimono and wear it in her honor.

Then I bought these cool, cut-out booty shorts.

I got them because they’re versatile, breezy, and I’ve already got the nude thongs to wear with them.

LOL

My final purchase was a pair of stained-glass skull leggings.

Now, I’m not much of a skull person.

I sort of leave that to my sister – she’s got a large sugar skull tattoo on her left arm.

But I simply fell in love with this design.

I imagine I’ll pair it with some sort of crochet black tank top and call it a day.

I’m trying to keep my wardrobe for the burn down to a minimum because I’ve got to be very conscientious of how much I bring when it’s me riding in someone else’s car.

Swimsuits, shorts and tank tops will be my bread and butter when I’m out on the playa.

Oh!

My final purchase off of (can you believe it!) Poshmark (a vintage/used clothing shop which is questionably vintage/used clothes and more like a cheap Chinese clothes market) is a flames backpack.

So PERFECT for the Burn!

Obsession

Anyone who knows me, knows I have an OBSESSION with makeup.

Whenever I needed to cheer myself up when I was younger, I’d go to the drugstore or department store and I’d buy HUNDREDS of dollars of makeup.

I estimate that I have approximately a BUTTLOAD of makeup.

I have so much that I periodically purge my collection and pass on makeup to my awesome niece Bella (and her mom and grandma).

My boys actually BLOCK me football-style, when we’re in the mall passing Sephora, Ulta, Morphe or MAC.

He he he!

For the Santa Con in Campbell, I whipped up this look:

Truthfully, it wasn’t too challenging.

The learning curve for contouring your face is STEEP.

I looked like a mad woman for a while, with dark stripes under my cheekbones and around my forehead.

But I just kept blending and it all worked out.

Now, for the upcoming Dragon Party, I’ve decided I’m going to try to make myself into a dragon.

BRING ON THE FACE PAINT!

This is the look I’m going for, only in GREEN:

As near as I can tell, I’ll need to draw the horns and teeth first then add the rest of the face paint.

I’ve already purchased face paint from Amazon:

So here’s hoping my face paint skills are up to par and I can pull off this dragon look.

And just to make sure people know I’M A DRAGON, I got these really cool horns off of etsy.

To complete the look.

I’m nothing if not thorough.

Dragons

Another day, another themed party for the burner community.

Have I said recently how much I LOVE my burner community?

Because I REALLY do!

This time, the theme is DRAGONS.

Think green scaly things, maidens in distress, and knights in shining armor.

I will be sure to flirt with all the knights in shining armor.

What am I going as?

Why a dragon, to be sure.

A nice, comfortable, green dragon.

I bought this onesie off of Amazon for $25.

It’s the right costume at the right price, if you ask me.

I personally love the idea of a medieval party.

I was tempted to buy these beautiful “bat” wings off of etsy:

However, I remember what a PAIN IN THE ASS it is to wear wings (always bumping in to people and can’t move without knocking something over) and I scrapped that idea.

So its just me and my onesie.

And MAKEUP!

Check out this awesome tutorial for dragon makeup using (I think) fake gold nails for dragon scales. . .

I’m not sure I’m up to doing a whole face of dragon makeup, but I could probably muster something interesting to look at.

Wish me luck!

Playing Dress Up

It was one of those weekends.

I changed into my pajamas Friday night and didn’t change out of them until Monday morning.

That’s just how I roll sometimes.

Truth is, I didn’t feel great after eating sushi.

My son always tells me, “Never eat leftover sushi. Or shrimp.”

And did I listen:

NO.

I did get some work done.

I managed to organize almost all of my costumes.

And do you know, it turns out I have ten 64 quart totes now filled with those costumes!

You want Star Wars?

I can be Chewbacca or Princess Leia.

Onesies?

I’ve got The Grinch, a brown bear, a rainbow unicorn, and The Lorax. . . and that’s only the ones in bins 1 – 5 . . .

Truth is, I’d forgotten about a lot of these costumes – ones which I have gathered over the years of burns and local burner parties.

Yes, I’m THAT friend.

I’m the dress up friend.

I like getting dressed up, especially the less an occasion calls for it.

Going to a dive bar?

Wear mother’s pearls and carry a pocketbook.

Opera?

Spandex and faux fur.

Backyard barbecue?

Rainbow jumpsuit with rainbow hair falls.

Maybe I’m a wee bit cartoon-y, but I just can’t help myself.

I guess I never got through playing dress up.

 

ABC the hard way

I’ve given up on wearing a latex dress for the ABC (Anything But Clothes) party.

I don’t want to be steamed like Instapot cauliflower by wearing such an insulated fabric.

Also, it’s pretty unforgiving to lumps and bumps, of which I have a few.

And it seems like it’s not quite in keeping with the theme of the party to BUY a latex outfit and call it ABC because it’s TECHNICALLY not fabric.

So I’m back to the drawing board.

I’m pretty sure I’m going to use garbage bags for my outfit.

I’ve found a few inspirational pics online which seem to indicate that using garbage bags and duct tape is a viable option for making an ABC outfit.

Maybe I can make a cardboard corset or get a plastic belt to liven up ALL THAT BLACK:

Or maybe I should embrace the futuristic appeal of the outfit and buy THIS hat:

All I need is a black Japanese motorcycle and a Doberman with a spiked collar.