Viking Braids

I’ve been all about braids lately.

I first noticed braids on the show Selling Sunset because real estate agent Heather Rae Young often wears her long blond hair in really outstanding braids.

You can hardly blame me for getting excited about the prospects of having my long hair braided.

So I jumped onto Yelp to find someplace that braids hair and would be willing to style my hair.

These are my inspo pics:

 

Of course, I could just buy a lace front braided wig (costing around $250) because it may be cheaper than getting my hair braided.

But since I have long blond hair which is perfect for braiding, I’m going to try that first.

The first place I contacted doesn’t do braids.

Le sigh.

The other two places cater to African American hair, but might be willing to do my Viking braids.

Speaking of hair, I get my first haircut in over a year in less than a week and I’m totally excited about it.

I’m going to ask my regular lady if she can do braids because why not?

Maybe she’s as good at braids as she is at color and cuts.

Lagertha

I’m toying with the idea of making a Lagertha costume so I’ve been all over Amazon picking out the costume.

Who would think you can get everything you need from Amazon to make the costume?

  1. Lagertha Viking shield ($199)
  2. Blond Lagertha wig ($13.23)
  3. Blond clip in dreadlocks ($159.95)
  4. Viking dreadlock beads ($18.99)
  5. Navy blue shirt ($8.65 – $34.99)
  6. Faux chainmail tunic ($52.30)
  7. Dark brown over-the-bust corset ($29.99 – $35.99)
  8. Women’s brown pants ($20.90)
  9. Brown slouchy boots ($16.05 – $35.28)
  10. Brown faux leather braces ($12.99)
  11. Medieval ring belt ($12.99)
  12. Viking sword ($43.02)

I’m totally loving this outfit, not for Burning Man, but for Halloween or a Vikings party.

If I work on this costume, and I’m not saying I will, there’s a chance I will take a picture of myself in the costume to send to Scandinavia.

Just because I have friends there who might get a kick out of seeing me in full Viking garb.

 

 

 

Contains affiliate links

That 70s vibe

While browsing Pinterest for Burning Man outfit ideas, I came across the most inspirational pin:

I’m loving the whole 70s vibe coming off this photo.

Love the red flares.

Love the gold chain mail halter top.

Of course I have to do one for myself, even though pants are Burning Man (during the day) can be exceptionally hot.

Here are the velvet flares I WANTED to buy:

And here are the red velvet flares that I BOUGHT:

On to the top.

Finding a gold rhinestone chain mail top in my size is no easy task.

It involves poking around in a lot of lingerie shops for plus size gold women’s tops.

I found this one:

Which I love, but refuse to spend over $50 for anything coming to the playa with me because the alkaline dust will ruin EVERYTHING.

So in exchange, I got these::

Sadly, I do not like them as much as the chain mail top but they’ll likely be a better fit for the girls and will do a better job keeping them in line (aka under wraps) than the skimpy top.

Anyway, this should make a decent night time outfit with a little work on my hair and a pair of 70s inspired sunglasses.

Perhaps I’ll wear my “Elton John” yellow heart sunnies which I love:

I can just picture me flitting about the playa looking like a 70s wanna-be starlet with feathered bangs and rocking a pair of bell bottoms.

Getting it right?

I’ve been getting a lot of advice on my Tank Girl costume.

Apparently, she is a well-loved character and it’s important I get her right.

Starting with the goggles.

I bought a pair of blue sunglasses to wear with the outfit.

But she wears WWII era aviator goggles.

So I broke down and bought a cheap pair off Wish which I can customize when it arrives.

Secondly, Tejas has informed me that I need to have bazooka boobs which shoot rounds at the enemy.

This I am ignoring.

I see Tank Girl in ripped t-shirts and bikini tops and that’s what I’m going with.

The last thing I need to do is make my chest even bigger, no?

The outfit is shaping up really well.

And in case you haven’t seen the trapper hat that goes with the outfit, here it is:

I’ve been slowly amassing pins to decorate her hat and I’m loving the BOMB ASS BITCH pin (which I destroyed accidentally and had to replace).

Also, of note:

Babes Against Bigots

Socially Awkward

Dismantle Patriarchy

Rebel

And Punk is not Dead

All in all, the outfit is coming together nicely.

Even the black canvas utility belt I bought looks good with the outfit, so I’m 95% done with the costume.

All that’s left is to get the TANK belt buckle made into a belt with some orange cotton belting (hopefully something my shoe repair man can do).

And voilá. . .

Tank Girl!

Predictably lost

My star bikini top arrived today.

As predicted, I have NO idea how to put it on.

It’s a bunch of straps and two tiny shiny black vinyl stars, probably too small to cover my nipples to any degree of confidence.

Of course, I didn’t buy it so that I could look perfect.

I bought it for Burning Man and a certain amount of outfit flexibility is built in.

Yes, I could wear a plain old bikini top.

But I like the look of the stars and perhaps someday, I’ll figure out how to put it on properly and wear it out of the house.

But for now, I’m standing in my bathroom, topless, strangling myself with black elastic straps that don’t seem to go where they are supposed to go.

I keep winding up with stars in my armpits, a good six inches away from where they truly belong.

I feel like this is going to be a trial and error project.

If I just keep adjusting the straps, eventually I’ll get it on right.

I may need to call in some reinforcements here to help.

Right?*

 

*OMG, with a little guidance from Nadine I was able to get the damn thing on and HOLY COW! I actually don’t think I can post it here.  Or wear it out. Think of a busted can of biscuits. . .

Rainbow shorts

While looking for custom tie dye shorts, I came across this lovely pair of custom painted shorts with the word “GODDESS” on the back:

Interestingly enough, this is a pseudo playa name I use on account of some people find my other playa name triggering.

I don’t advertise it, nor do I ask people I use it.

It’s just certain people who choose to use it instead of my real playa name.

I love these shorts but sadly they are not available in my size (story of my life).

So I decided to pursue getting custom made tie dye jean shorts.

I found a pair of white tattered jean shorts online at Missguided for super cheap AND on sale:

Now all I need to do is find someone skilled at tie dye who can make them into RAINBOW shorts for me!

I’m loving these designs from etsy:

I could try to tie dye them myself, but I’ve only tie dyed clothing a few times and both times the results were a little muddled.

So I’ve questioned the Hive Mind (via a FB Recommendations post) and I have two people who can possibly help me create the perfect custom rainbow tie dyed shorts for me!

Tank Girl Pins

Would any Tank Girl costume be complete without pins?

I found a couple online which are perfect for the outfit:

And since I’m expecting it to be hot on the playa, I also got camo shorts and a shortalls set just in case I need some cooler options:

And FINALLY, some dagger earrings to go with the outfit.

Needless to say, I’m totally in love with Tank Girl right now and can’t wait to assemble it completely to see how it looks!

Ariana Grande meets Tank Girl

I’m going to tell you an old story.

I went to the unSCruz festival in Santa Cruz in May of 2017.

I didn’t go alone.

I brought The Swede with me.

Because I had a guest with me, I went nuts planning my outfits, including all my nighttime attire.

I bought this black, strappy teddy to wear to sleep, similar to this:

You know, to TEMPT The Swede.

So there I am, at night, in a tent, a little bit tipsy, in the dark, trying to get into this strappy black teddy.

I could not for the life of me figure out how to put it on.

And The Swede was watching, which made me feel EXTRA awkward.

Also?

It was freezing cold, so it seemed like a poor idea to sleep in next to nothing.

In the end, I scrapped my black lingerie plans and put on all the warm clothes I had INCLUDING a full length faux fur jacket.

Yeah, it was THAT cold.

I’m telling all of you this because I actually CONSIDERED getting the rave star bikini top for my Ariana Grande meets Tank Girl costume despite the fact that it’s probably designed for a C-cup or smaller:

Then I remembered how bad I am at figuring out how to put on strappy lingerie.

So I’ve decided that I won’t be wearing a star bikini top to Burning Man.

I will HOWEVER buy one of these to wear over whatever top I decide on (most likely a black bikini halter top from my current collection of swim suits):

It goes nicely with my pseudo Tank Girl theme, don’t you think?

Valentine’s Day 2020

I had a WONDERFUL Valentine’s Day!

First of all I drove my mom to the airport so I had an early start to my Friday which meant when my office closed early for the holiday weekend, I got to start my weekend EVEN EARLIER!

Woot!

Many people sent me text messages wishing me a Happy Valentine’s Day.

I mean, how can you be SOUR when your friends and family pepper you with love?!

Then I took an uber to Campbell and I had a lovely dinner with Nadine before we commenced drinking and socializing with our friends for the Onesie Pub Crawl.

We hopped around from bar to bar and at each location, I drank a gin and tonic or two.

Round about 11 pm everyone headed to my least favorite spot In downtown Campbell so I called it a night and proceeded to head home.

Where I spent the next fee hours swiping right and left on Tinder.

Ah ha ha!

All in all, it truly was a lovely day and an even better evening.

I really had a blast watching people’s faces LIGHT UP when they spotted us in our crowd of onesies.

But the BEST part of the evening had to be when a firetruck filled with handsome firemen drove by me on the street and I caught the fireman on the rig smiling reflexively when they saw us.

Happy Valentine’s Day indeed!

Classy, sassy and a little smart assy

First of all, I am NOT working on another costume inspired by this model/celebrity:

But IF I were, the first thing I’d notice is that it’s rather easy to purchase a “PLUS SIZE BLACK THONG BIKINI BOTTOM.”

Etsy, FTW!

It is remarkably HARD however to find a transparent mesh bodysuit to wear over it [NOTE TO SELF:  It’s only hard until you check lingerie sites like Yandy.com and SpicyLingerie.com]

And right about the time I googled “plus size see-through jumpsuit” I started to wonder if perhaps in my enthusiasm for the “Buss It” phenomenon sweeping TIkTok that I might be going a bit TOO FAR in the costume department.

I am a 47 year old mother who probably doesn’t need to hang my ass out for all to see.

And I maybe took a second to snap a few pics of what appealed to me, no matter how bright and bold:

Realizing that all these jumpsuits are pretty ridiculous and I don’t need to buy them.

And then I stumbled across the Shangri La of jumpsuits:

Now of course, you’re thinking I’m crazy but picture it with these earrings:

And THIS hair:

Add a pair of roller skates and some doublemint gum and I am the rolling 70s!