The things we do for our kids

I’m not a BIG fan of guns.

TBH, they scare the shit out of me.

I had a boyfriend who collected guns and he made me pick up and handle all his guns in the hopes that I’d get comfortable with handling them.

I never got comfortable.

He took me to gun ranges to shoot hand guns.

We used shot guns to blast skeet apart.

I still never got used to guns.

In fact, when I’m around people who are firing guns, the compression waves I feel in my chest when each bullet is fired, is alarming to me.

This is the preface I give you BEFORE I let you know that I BOUGHT A GROUPON TO LET MY 19-YEAR OLD SON SHOOT A MACHINE GUN IN NEVADA during our summer vacation.

He will absolutely ADORE it.

I will be secretly cringing in a corner.

But what makes the boy happy makes me happy, eventually.

And this is what he likes.

Bohemian Rhapsody

So I’ve got this BRILLIANT idea for my birthday party.

It’s on November 2nd, when the Freddie Mercury biopic movie called Bohemian Rhapsody comes out.

And I’m thinking that’s the PERFECT reason to have an 80s party – starting with the movie and ending at a dance club.

I mean, when I was asked what person I’d most want to spend a day with at Burning Man, my answer was Freddy Mercury.

And the person, living or dead, I’d most like to see in concert?

Freddie Mercury!

Again!

I just love Freddie Mercury.

Can you tell?

So, it goes without saying that I will DRESS UP LIKE FREDDIE MERCURY.

There are so many outfits out there to choose from but the one I like the most has a yellow jacket and striped white track pants.

Oh, be still my heart!

How much I can’t wait to cross dress as Freddie Mercury!

The only thing I’m sort of neglecting to mention is that my birthday isn’t for another 5 months.

So I’m A BIT ahead of schedule.

Even for me!

That’s just my devilish fantasy

supernatural1I spent two days in bed last week recovering from a wicked cold.

Two days of sleep, herbal tea, and Supernatural.

Yes, that’s right. I binged watched Supernatural while I was ill.

Based simply on the fact that the actors who play Sam and Dean Winchester are HAWT with a capital H, I can justify watching that show.

But it’s more than just the hunky good looks of Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki that make me watch episode after episode like a junkie going on a beefcake binge.

The acting is incredible!

Ah, you laughed.

Well, tell me, could YOU really deliver a line like “I’ve been tortured by the devil himself so you, you’re just an accent in a pantsuit. What can you do to me?” without cracking a grin?

No seriously.

It’s all so surrealistic it’s IMPRESSIVE that Jared and Jensen can deliver their lines and be even SOMEWHAT believable!

I can’t help but picture their director, trying to give them guidance. . . “Ok. What we’re doing here is reanimating a Nazi army of necromancers and you two have to defeat them.”

I’m reminded of a comedian who was asked in an audition to get really excited about BEEF STEW.

So he screamed, “BEEF STEW!” at the top of his lungs.

There’s no precedent for what the actors on Supernatural do and so I’m amazed that they manage to pull it off believably.

My personal aside is that Jensen Ackles is a BRILLIANT actor and his portrayal of Dean Winchester is SPOT on.

It doesn’t hurt that he has the most symmetrical face in Hollywood.

No it doesn’t.

supernatural2And as another aside, as an out-of-the-closet lumberjack lover, Jared Padalecki really rocks my boat as “Moose” aka “Lumberjack” standing a whopping 6’4″ tall.  Oh how my thighs are quivering.

supernatural3My only complaint is that the Winchester brothers don’t spend enough time shirtless or in compromising situations with women.

What I wouldn’t give to see Sam and Dean stripped out of their tight shirts and tighter jeans, sharing a hotel room with double beds, a buxom blonde and a busty Asian beauty (per Dean’s preferences).

Oops! My bad.

That’s just my devilish fantasy.

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Do you send nude pics to your partner/s?

photo(26)I am a connoisseur of the naughty pic.  Not only do I love taking my own selfies, I love collecting the photos which are sent to me.

You’d be surprised how many buttoned-up businessmen are willing to take it off and show it off when properly motivated by a selfie I’ve sent them.

I have so many photos, I had to get a special app – called PhotoSafe Pro – to keep them locked down and secure on my phone.

The first thing I did when I bought a new phone was transfer all my naughty photos over.

There’s just something about exchanging photos that reminds me of foreplay.  I love a man who reciprocates.  My photos get increasingly sexier when he sends back his own.

Not everyone feels this way, however.  So I’ve created a brief poll to get to the heart of the matter:

Ren Faire Peasant Wench

My collection of costumes is growing. Currently I have:

  • St. Pauli Girl
  • Ringleader
  • Mad Max
  • Pirate
  • Goddess
  • White Wizard
  • Police Officer
  • Dominatrix
  • Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz
  • Nurse
  • 70s Disco Jumpsuit
  • Dickens Faire gown

I just bought a costume for the upcoming Renaissance Faire I’m going to with Kimberly.

Here’s the outfit:

wenchAnd here’s the floral crown (which I love):

il_570xN.780421817_ljt8I’ve been wondering what other costumes I need to get in order to keep up with all the Burner costume parties and I’ve come up with the following list:

  • Burner Bunny
  • Santa Outfit
  • Furry Raver Outfit
  • Steampunk Outfit

That’s just a beginning list. I’m sure more will come up as I go along. But for now, I have an outfit for my next big party – The Ren Faire!

Full Monty = Fair Play

I’m a big fan of Games of Thrones. And True Blood. And Vikings.

And I have to admit that one of the reasons why I like these shows is because I like the nudity.

But I’ve noticed that there’s a tendency to show female nudity and exclude male nudity.  What’s up with that?!

I think that directors and producers should cater to men and to women and show a little of both.  Turnabout is fair play, no?

So you can imagine my delight in watching the TV show “Da Vinci’s Demons” and discovering that they somehow adhere to my desires to see more naked men on TV.

And imagine my delight when in episode 6 of season 1 (at the 12:30 mark, if you’re curious) there is a nice little scene with men in a sauna and one of them is VERY WELL ENDOWED. Like “check out that snake” endowed.

It’s always the ones you don’t suspect.

So here I am hooked on a new show. Not just because of the nudity, but definitely impressed by the equality of it.

Perhaps it makes me a bit of a perv to admit I like nudity, but the full Monty gets one big fat thumbs up from me.

ale nudity