Category Archives: Fashion

Reformation

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Every now and then I run across a designer who makes outstanding clothes for curvy bodies.

We’re not talking baggy dresses, loose-fitting shirts and wide leg pants.

No.

We’re talking beautiful, feminine dresses, stylish skirts and tailored blouses.

That’s what Reformation is for me.

I got so excited when I found their clothes, sold online via some major companies, like Nordstrom.

I fell in love with these two dresses – the Butterfly and the Marbella:

Aren’t they gorgeous?

Feminine.

Stylish.

Flattering.

Everything I am looking for when I dress my body.

I was determined to get a cute pair of this season’s IT shoes to wear with these dresses – espadrilles.

I wanted three features:  ankle ties, peep toe and a low heel.

I simply can’t wear high heels now that I’ve become accustomed to wearing flats all the time.

So I got these Soludos Open Toe Platform Espadrilles, which I absolutely heart more than you can imagine:

I’ve got to admit, I can’t wait to put the whole look together.

Maybe I’ll get to wear it out with the new guy!

Steampunk Peacock

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My dear friend Nadine is having a birthday and I get to celebrate with her.

I celebrated last year at her party with a gorgeous LED stone necklace and a dress to die for:

This year, we’re doing something different.

Last year’s theme incorporated Nadine’s favorite colors – teal and lavender.

This year’s theme is Steampunk and Victorian.

Nevermind that I have two steampunk outfits and a Victorian outfit already assembled in my garage.

What I really need to do is create ANOTHER costume.

Starting with a peacock corset.

Ouch!  That thing just looks like it’s going to hurt, but you can’t say it’s not beautiful.

The next thing I need is a really VIVID TEAL shirt, with skirt hikes to bunch it up in the front like a proper steampunk princess:

Finally, there’s the blouse, a nice sheer black one which will complement the peacock corset very nicely:

As for the present, I delved into Nadine’s love of all things peacock to find a custom present for her.

I think she’ll love what I got her.

And of course, she has all my love.

Happy birthday love!

May you have another blessed spin around the sun.

Curves on the playa

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I MAYBE went on a little spending spree to get some outfits put together for Burning Man.

One thing I’ve noticed. . . my outfits are getting MUCH smaller.

Where I used to put together layers of clothing, I’ve now adopted a simpler methodology.

Short shorts and crop tops.

LOL

Seriously!

Bathing suits and micro skirts.

I have ONE long faux fur jacket I wear for warmth.

But otherwise, on the playa, I’ve got to stay cool and the best way to do that is to go naked. . .

Which I’m not going to do.

The second best way to accomplish that is to actually wear as little clothing as possible.

That I can handle.

Everyone will get to see my thick thighs and my bodacious boobs in these outfits.

Oh well.

It can trigger weird reactions in people.

Not everyone likes curvy women.

But some people do.

And I swear, if one person walks up to me to tell me how “BRAVE” I am to wear tiny outfits, I’m going to make them chew tinfoil while shaving their head with a cheese grater.

You see, it’s like this:

I see curvy women wearing minimal clothing ALL THE TIME and they look great, even with all those curves.

So I figure, the only thing stopping me from also looking great in tiny clothes is me.

I love my body.

It’s given birth three times.

I’ve nursed two babies and yet I still have great tits.

It’s survived 45 years of wear and tear.

It’s got plenty more mileage left to go.

So, without further adieu, here are the outfits for Burning Man 2019:  Metamorphoses:

Spank me

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I do not have a daddy complex.

I’ve never yelled “Daddy!” while in the throes of passion.

It always seemed counterproductive to bring my fathers into the mix.

I know of at least one boyfriend who wouldn’t have minded.

But enough about ex-boyfriends, more on sexual inclinations.

So, I don’t have a daddy complex but I have something close.

I have a schoolgirl complex.

That’s right.

Maybe it’s from NINE years of wearing schoolgirl uniforms at private school growing up.

Maybe I can blame it on Britney Spears.

Whatever caused it, I can honestly say that I’m about to delve DEEP INTO IT for Burning Man 2019.

Because yours truly has just gone and bought not one but TWO pleated plaid schoolgirl mini skirts.

One in purple.

One in red.

I’m thrilled that I found this new source of inspiration and I’m totally excited about wearing these skirts on the playa.

I hope someone offers to spank me!

Ooohhh. . . speaking of which I’ll need some nice panties to match, just in case.

Shrooms

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Shrooms. Funghi.  Toadstools.

Lately, they’ve been on my brain.

Like how can I make a Burning Man outfit out of shrooms?

And no, I’m not creating an outfit because I do shrooms.

I have enough trouble navigating reality, I don’t need a little alteration to confuse me more.

I’m creating an outfit because I like mushrooms.

They’re cute, forest-dwelling, fairy-inspired, little vegetables which I like to eat in a risotto sprinkled with a little lemon zest.

I looked long and hard for mushroom graphic leggings and finally found two pairs I liked on Amazon and eBay.

I know I shouldn’t be feeding the monsters which are Amazon and eBay, but I really couldn’t find mushroom leggings I liked on any independent websites.

Then it was just a matter of accessorizing the outfit.

Mushroom earrings from Wish.

Mushroom necklace from etsy.

And voilá!

My mushroom ensemble for Burning Man:

American boobs

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I bought a white dress for White Wednesday on the playa, envisioning this kind of outfit:

I got it to replace my last white dress which had seen better days.

The new dress came in the mail and, well, it came in a bag marked “Made in China” on it.

Oh no!

That means the dress is made for Chinese boobs.

Not my massive G-size American boobs.

But I decided to try it on anyway.

And wouldn’t you know, it fit.

Sort of.

I’m trying to decide if there’s too much side boob or too much underboob to wear on the playa.

Now, I know that Burning Man is clothing optional.

Clearly I could (and occasionally do) go topless.

And between you and me, sometimes bottomless too.

But I want a white dress to wear for this occasion.

So tell me, what do you think of this top?

Breathless

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I’ve fallen in love.

Yes, I have.

It’s such an easy thing for me to do.

I fall in love ALL THE TIME.

This handbag, for instance, caught my eye and I fell INSTANTLY in love with it.

The pistachio-caramel tropical scent of Brazilian Bum Bum Cream captured me as well:

But what I’m really hinting at, is this GORGEOUS red dress I found:

I can’t even BEGIN to tell you how much I love it!

It’s striking and I can’t wait to wear it in Florida and see The Swede get all flushed with excitement.

There’s nothing quite like a beautiful woman in a red dress now, is there?

Wearing red dresses is kinda my thing, as evidenced by this old picture of me with my friends going out for a night on the town:

And then there’s my custom-made velvet high school prom dress, inspired by Pretty Woman, which I wore to my college junior ball:

The bottom line is:

I LOVE RED DRESSES!

I can’t wait to steal someone’s breath away. . .

How many tiaras does one woman need?

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UnSCruz is coming!

It’s just around the corner and I realized (late) that with all the trips I’m taking this month (to Reno and Florida), there’s very little time to prep for unSCruz.

Fortunately, I have a really accurate inventory of all my camping gear courtesy of my neat-freak mother who made me go through all my stuff in the garage, clear out what I don’t need, and inventory what I’m keeping.

As is typical, I’m mostly worried about my outfits.

I haven’t had a chance to put anything new together.

I’d go with a standard tutu and tank top but all my tutus have been recycled because they’re OLD and covered in playa dust.

Honestly, off the top of my head I can’t come up with a SINGLE OUTFIT for unSCruz save my onesie outfits (which may be hot) and my peacock/butterfly outfits (which may be cold).

There’s not much in between.

There’s no time to shop so I’m just going to have to give it my best shot and go through the bins and bins of costumes I have and try to figure out what to wear.

Did I mention I have TEN itemized bins of costumes in my garage?

Indeed.

And that’s not even ALL of it.

I have bags of outfits in my bedroom.

Normally, I’d be in full consumer-mode right now, buying items to put together new costumes for unSCruz.

But that’s not going to happen this year.

I may have finally reached that threshold where I can raid my bins for outfits and find something appropriate to wear WITHOUT going shopping.

I so admire Burners who can create outfits without shopping for new clothes and accessories.

How many tiaras does one woman need?

One, right?

Unless you’re the Queen of England.

Exhibitionist

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I’ve been having SUCH A HARD TIME finding a yellow sundress.

The first dress I chose was X-rated.

All boob, no coverage.

The second dress I chose turned out to be WAY TOO BIG ON ME.

I was literally falling out of the top.

These boobs, man. . . they’re just determined to display themselves.

They’re such EXHIBITIONISTS!

I think I’ve finally found a dress that will work.

Mind you, all this is because I bought a yellow floral headband that I want to wear and I need a dress to go with it.

Now that I have PILES OF DRESSES to return to the store, it’s finally dawned on me – the purpose of shopping in a store in the first place.

To avoid fiascos like the one I’m facing.

Still, it’s nice to shop online and be able to hit Macys, Nordstrom, and a plethora of other shops all while one reclines in bed eating peanuts.

Yes, that really happens!

Swedish bikini

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I want this:

I want it for no reason other than it reminds me of Sweden.

The blue.

The yellow.

It’s like a deconstructed Swedish flag:

And lord knows I certainly like things Swedish.

Even though I’m of Norwegian descent.

I’m not buying it though.

Nope.

Because I have a habit of buying bikinis and never wearing them.

And I’m not going to do that anymore.

Let’s face it, I already have a Swedish bikini bottom I purchased from Globalkinis:

I intended to wear it with a Swedish flag tank top out on the playa with The Swede but then he wasn’t able to come to Burning Man:

So I scrapped the outfit.

I still have it though.

Maybe I’ll titillate The Swede by wearing it under my clothes and showing it to him in private.

Boy, does that man like all things Swedish.

Swedish coffee, Swedish candy, Swedish chocolate. . .

American women, though.

Lucky for me!

So even though I have a hankering to turn up on a beach in Florida wearing a Swedish colored bikini, I have a strong feeling that I will never actually follow through and do it.

Me and bikinis.

I imagine I’m bold enough to wear them but then I chicken out.

That’s just how I roll.

And as a parting gift from me to you, a picture of the Swedish Bikini Team:

You’re welcome!