Giving in

Life is too short to wear comfortable shoes, I’ve always said.

Thus, my closet is packed with about 100 pairs of heels, sky high boots, and glittery sandals.

It’s hard to find a pair of sneakers.

I do have a pair of Chuck Taylors.

And two pairs of running shoes.

Which is why it pains me to admit that I broke down and bought comfortable FLATS for my closet.

I just couldn’t take it anymore – walking in to work, balancing on delicate heels, trying not to break an ankle and turn into a yard sale.

My friend Barbara should be THRILLED.

She wears nothing but Tiek flats and she LOVES them.

You better love them if you’re spending over $300 a pair, is what I say!

I did not buy Tieks.

No, instead I bought a few pairs which I think will fit my unnaturally wide feet.

We’re not talking Hobbit-wide feet, just slightly wider than average.

Thus, these new pairs will be joining my closet in a week and will become staples for my wardrobe accessories.

I just can’t wear heels ALL DAY LONG anymore.

It hurts.

I give up!

Full disclosure: This MAY have something to do with me tripping TWICE in my black heels after a long day at work and literally almost RIPPING MY LITTLE TOE OFF MY RIGHT FOOT in the process.

Flats? Click. Buy.

A Sheer Disaster

So there I am, browsing through my Instagram when THIS picture pops up:

A beautiful curvy lady in ONE REALLY FUCKED UP DRESS.

WTF is going on here?

I had to take a better look.

She is wearing a see through dress embroidered with red roses. Underneath she’s wearing a matching nude bra and panty set with contrast black striping.

Is this a thing now?

First there were dresses with sheer panels.

Then sheer skirts and jumpsuits you have to wear your best knickers for.

AND NOW. . .

Now the whole frigging dress is sheer and requires you to be comfortable letting the world see you in your unmentionables.

This is why I like Burning Man events.

I can wear sheer clothes and no one blinks an eye.

I went to an Angels and Demons party dressed as a demon and the top of my dress was TOTALLY SHEER!

As much as I was tempted to go topless under it, I finally admitted to myself that my balls of steel were less steely and more squishy when it came to this.

I wore a black bandage bustier underneath it and was quite comfortable letting people peep my lingerie.

I even attended a “lingerie” party in. . . you guessed it. . . my LINGERIE!

But if you ask me if I would go on a date or out with my girlfriends wearing this dress, the answer is HELLO FUCKING NO!

Not unless I get to wear a full length wool coat buttoned up over my outfit.

And here I get confused. There’s a #MeToo movement on Facebook which asks women to post #MeToo in their status if they’ve ever been sexually assaulted.

Shouldn’t women be able to walk around in sheer clothes and underwear and feel safe from sexual predation?

Does wearing sheer clothing encourage the over-sexualization of women?

I don’t know the answer.

I suspect a PhD in Gender Studies could address the topic far better than I.

What I do know is this. . . I wear sheer clothes at Burning Man events BECAUSE it’s a safer environment where CONSENT IS KEY.

Out there in the Default World, I wouldn’t be caught dead in anything so sheer.

I heart SPANDEX!

I have a sophisticated and highly scientific approach to packing for Burning Man next year:

Bring as much spandex as possible.

Spandex, it turns out, takes up VERY LITTLE SPACE in your supplies and therefore is very compact.

It also helps that spandex fabric is used to make bodysuits, jumpsuits, and bathing suits.

Things that are PERFECT for Burning Man, in other words.

Now.

The thing about investing in a heavily spandexified wardrobe for Burning Man is that I will be FORCED to wear what I bring.

Which means people will see me running around in those bodysuits, jumpsuits and bathing suits.

But for a woman who at least CLAIMS to be comfortable with her body, this should be NO BIG BEAL.

Or is it?

Remember last year?

I got all excited about high waisted bikini bottoms?

I bought three pairs, invested in coordinating tops and accessories then DIDN’T WEAR THEM AT ALL?

Yeah, THAT!

And I can’t use the excuse that it was TOO DAMN HOT, because bikinis and tank tops are pretty much the accepted uniform for hot days on the playa.

So here are three new pieces I’m using to create my new COMPACT Burning Man wardrobe:

Can I tell you just how much I LOVE them?!

Lets hope I actually WEAR them!

Shoes, Yosemite, Weddings and Fire. . .oh my!

Has it been fricking forever since I posted something about shoes?

I think it has.

Y’all know how much I LOVE shoes.

Lately, however shoes don’t love me.

They’re either too tight around the foot or the ankle.

FUCK weight gain!

Who knew your FEET could get bigger?

In any case, I need a pair of shoes to go with my yellow dress at the upcoming wedding in Yosemite (crosses fingers and says a prayer the fires will stay away).

I got a pair of flats for the outdoor ceremony.

No need to totter across stones, dirt, and grass in heels, right?

And then I got this GORGEOUS pair of heels, with a little flower by Pelle Mode to wear for the reception, which now that I think about it, might be outdoors as well.

No matter, the bottom line is I AM PREPARED.

Now if we can just extinguish those DISASTROUS fires, that would be PERFECT!

Burning Man Essentials: Men’s Fashion

I’ve been holding off on writing this post because of the TREMENDOUS undertaking that it is.

How to describe the fashion of men at Burning Man?

I classify the fashion loosely into five styles:

  1. Dystopian
  2. Hippie
  3. Rave
  4. Steampunk
  5. Tribal/Ethnic

First of all, let me preface this by saying YOU CAN WEAR ANYTHING YOU WANT AT BURNING MAN.

Channel your inner freak and GO WILD!

These are simply some ideas, organized into a blog post that might help inspiration to strike.

DYSTOPIAN

In a word? BLACK.  But not necessarily.  Think mesh, cargo pants, zippers, chains, holsters, thigh bags, combat boots, streamlined goggles, and sleeveless hoodies.  Contains affiliate links.

HIPPIE

This one really doesn’t require an explanation.  Think macrame, crochet, colorful pants, tie dye, dread locks, flower power, bell bottoms, and fringe.  Contains affiliate links.

RAVE

Think holographic, kaleidoscopic color, bodysuits and glimmer, see-through, neon and GLOW!  Contains affiliate links.

STEAMPUNK

Think neo-Victorian, steam-powered aesthetic, black and brown, lace and leather, and top hats with accoutrements.  Contains affiliate links.

TRIBAL/ETHNIC

Think bright colors, Indian-inspired patterned leggings, chestplates, chunky necklaces, and lots and lots of unique statement jewelry.  Contains affiliate links.

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Burning Man Essentials: Women’s Fashion

I’ve been holding off on writing this post because of the TREMENDOUS undertaking that it is.

How to describe the fashion of women at Burning Man?

I classify the fashion loosely into five styles:

  1. Dystopian
  2. Hippie
  3. Rave
  4. Steampunk
  5. Tribal/Ethnic

First of all, let me preface this by saying YOU CAN WEAR ANYTHING YOU WANT AT BURNING MAN.

Channel your inner freak and GO WILD!

These are simply some ideas, organized into a blog post that might help inspiration to strike.

DYSTOPIAN

In a word? BLACK.  But not necessarily.  Think mesh, cargo pants, zippers, chains, holsters, thigh bags, combat boots, streamlined goggles, and sleeveless hoodies.  Contains affiliate links.

HIPPIE

This one really doesn’t require an explanation.  Think macrame, crochet, colorful skirts, tie dye, dread locks, flower power, bell bottoms, and fringe.  Contains affiliate links.

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RAVE

Think holographic, kaleidoscopic color, bodysuits and glimmer, see-through, neon and GLOW!  Contains affiliate links.

Save

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STEAMPUNK

Think neo-Victorian, steam-powered aesthetic, black and brown, lace and leather, and top hats with accoutrements.  Contains affiliate links.

TRIBAL/ETHNIC

Think bright colors, Indian-inspired patterned leggings, chestplates, chunky necklaces, and lots and lots of unique statement jewelry.  Contains affiliate links.

Ultimately, Burning Man style is what you make of it. There are no rules and there are no limitations. So have fun and let you inner child out to play!

A special cause which is near and dear to my heart is plus size fashion on the playa.  I have a Pinterest board dedicated to all you curvy and thick ladies out there.  Check it out, if you’re so inclined.  100+ pins!


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Cookie Monster

You all know I like to shop at etsy.

I find really cool things on that site – like Star Wars hair clips, pirate hats, and rainbow bodysuits.

The latest thing I’ve found is a faux fur jacket.

And the woman who makes the jackets makes CUSTOM jackets.

I gave Tejas her name and contact info and he commissioned this:

A royal blue, full-length, faux fur burner coat to wear on the playa.

Pretty spiffy, huh?

Mine is neon green so we’ll make quite the pair walking around Black Rock City in our duds.

The only thing about this jacket, which I love by the way, is that it reminds me of Cookie Monster.

Once you’re seen it, you can’t UNSEE it.

And so I’m wondering, given that Tejas has TWO possible playa names at this point – Maximus and Thumper – if he will ultimately wind up with the playa name COOKIE MONSTER.

All on account of this jacket.

Commando

So I’m at work, wearing a lovely sunflower yellow sundress.

I got three compliments within 15 minutes of arriving at work.

One person told me “You better have a date tonight. It’d be a shame to waste that dress.”

The truth is I LOVE this dress.

I’m going to wear it to the wedding I’m going to in September.

It’s simple and understated yet festive and bright.

But I discovered a design flaw.

There is no lining.

And HOW did I discover this, you might ask?

Well I turned sideways to look at my butt in the bathroom mirror at work and discovered. . .

. . that my blue lace underwear was TOTALLY SHOWING THROUGH MY YELLOW DRESS.

Now I understand why so many people were looking at me when I went to lunch.

It wasn’t (just because ) I looked pretty.

No, it’s because they could see my knickers!

The thing is, now I have to figure out what to do to get myself through the rest of my work day without flashing too many more people my undergarments.

And I think I’ve come up with a pretty good answer.

One that will make all my “unblunder” followers proud.

I’m going commando!

 

You’re not alone, sister!

Almost 2 years ago I participated in Burning Man for the first time.

As is my usual habit, I spent A LOT of time planning and prepping.

I carefully reviewed every Burning Man Essentials list and incorporated all the items I was missing into my growing inventory.

In the end, I had 16 bins full of gear.

I may have gone overboard, but let me tell you, I was PREPARED.

Sunblock for my hair?

Check.

Essentials oils for my face mask?

Check.

Ridiculous now to think about them, but at the time I thought they were ESSENTIAL.

Needless to say, I spent a lot of time looking online for fashion guidance.

Self expression is BIG at Burning Man.

I was totally disappointed to find that 99.9% of the representations of women at Burning Man include slim women only.

Where are my thick girls? My curvy ladies?

I could find no representation of women on the playa for women OVER A SIZE 12.

What up?!

I began to wonder if I’d be the only thick girl on the playa.

Of course, that turned out to not be the case, but it still bothers me to this day that the diversity that exists on the playa is not captured by playa photographers.

And, of course, I had to remedy the situation not just by posting my playa photos on the internet, but also by creating a Pinterest board with fashion inspiration for the curvy lady planning to go to the playa.

You’re not alone, sister!

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F*CKING BOOTS!

I found a new love!

Don’t be surprised. You know I’ve been shopping around.

And the other day, WHAM!

It just happened.

I fell in love.

Friends, meet Trashville.

Isn’t he wonderful?!

Black, buckles, AND platform!

What more could a girl ask for?

This is one of the reasons why I LOVE Burning Man.

Because it gives me a place to wear SHOES LIKE TRASHVILLE!

And that pleases me more than you could imagine.

I love these shoes because they have a nice platform without being too over the top.

I have this pair of Qosmo platforms from YRU and, to be honest, I’ve turned into a yard sale more than once wearing this shoes.

Yes, I was drinking if you must know.

But Qosmo shoes are HARD TO WALK IN.

And given all the walking that goes on on the playa, I think it’s best to be a bit more subdued.

Shocking, I know.

Hold on to your panties!

Michelle actually made a RATIONAL decision.

Well, MORE rational than say these (which I also love):

stomper

It’s all relative. . .