I heart SPANDEX!

I have a sophisticated and highly scientific approach to packing for Burning Man next year:

Bring as much spandex as possible.

Spandex, it turns out, takes up VERY LITTLE SPACE in your supplies and therefore is very compact.

It also helps that spandex fabric is used to make bodysuits, jumpsuits, and bathing suits.

Things that are PERFECT for Burning Man, in other words.

Now.

The thing about investing in a heavily spandexified wardrobe for Burning Man is that I will be FORCED to wear what I bring.

Which means people will see me running around in those bodysuits, jumpsuits and bathing suits.

But for a woman who at least CLAIMS to be comfortable with her body, this should be NO BIG BEAL.

Or is it?

Remember last year?

I got all excited about high waisted bikini bottoms?

I bought three pairs, invested in coordinating tops and accessories then DIDN’T WEAR THEM AT ALL?

Yeah, THAT!

And I can’t use the excuse that it was TOO DAMN HOT, because bikinis and tank tops are pretty much the accepted uniform for hot days on the playa.

So here are three new pieces I’m using to create my new COMPACT Burning Man wardrobe:

Can I tell you just how much I LOVE them?!

Lets hope I actually WEAR them!

Shoes, Yosemite, Weddings and Fire. . .oh my!

Has it been fricking forever since I posted something about shoes?

I think it has.

Y’all know how much I LOVE shoes.

Lately, however shoes don’t love me.

They’re either too tight around the foot or the ankle.

FUCK weight gain!

Who knew your FEET could get bigger?

In any case, I need a pair of shoes to go with my yellow dress at the upcoming wedding in Yosemite (crosses fingers and says a prayer the fires will stay away).

I got a pair of flats for the outdoor ceremony.

No need to totter across stones, dirt, and grass in heels, right?

And then I got this GORGEOUS pair of heels, with a little flower by Pelle Mode to wear for the reception, which now that I think about it, might be outdoors as well.

No matter, the bottom line is I AM PREPARED.

Now if we can just extinguish those DISASTROUS fires, that would be PERFECT!

Burning Man Essentials: Men’s Fashion

I’ve been holding off on writing this post because of the TREMENDOUS undertaking that it is.

How to describe the fashion of men at Burning Man?

I classify the fashion loosely into five styles:

  1. Dystopian
  2. Hippie
  3. Rave
  4. Steampunk
  5. Tribal/Ethnic

First of all, let me preface this by saying YOU CAN WEAR ANYTHING YOU WANT AT BURNING MAN.

Channel your inner freak and GO WILD!

These are simply some ideas, organized into a blog post that might help inspiration to strike.

DYSTOPIAN

In a word? BLACK.  But not necessarily.  Think mesh, cargo pants, zippers, chains, holsters, thigh bags, combat boots, streamlined goggles, and sleeveless hoodies.  Contains affiliate links.

HIPPIE

This one really doesn’t require an explanation.  Think macrame, crochet, colorful pants, tie dye, dread locks, flower power, bell bottoms, and fringe.  Contains affiliate links.

RAVE

Think holographic, kaleidoscopic color, bodysuits and glimmer, see-through, neon and GLOW!  Contains affiliate links.

STEAMPUNK

Think neo-Victorian, steam-powered aesthetic, black and brown, lace and leather, and top hats with accoutrements.  Contains affiliate links.

TRIBAL/ETHNIC

Think bright colors, Indian-inspired patterned leggings, chestplates, chunky necklaces, and lots and lots of unique statement jewelry.  Contains affiliate links.

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Burning Man Essentials: Women’s Fashion

I’ve been holding off on writing this post because of the TREMENDOUS undertaking that it is.

How to describe the fashion of women at Burning Man?

I classify the fashion loosely into five styles:

  1. Dystopian
  2. Hippie
  3. Rave
  4. Steampunk
  5. Tribal/Ethnic

First of all, let me preface this by saying YOU CAN WEAR ANYTHING YOU WANT AT BURNING MAN.

Channel your inner freak and GO WILD!

These are simply some ideas, organized into a blog post that might help inspiration to strike.

DYSTOPIAN

In a word? BLACK.  But not necessarily.  Think mesh, cargo pants, zippers, chains, holsters, thigh bags, combat boots, streamlined goggles, and sleeveless hoodies.  Contains affiliate links.

HIPPIE

This one really doesn’t require an explanation.  Think macrame, crochet, colorful skirts, tie dye, dread locks, flower power, bell bottoms, and fringe.  Contains affiliate links.

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RAVE

Think holographic, kaleidoscopic color, bodysuits and glimmer, see-through, neon and GLOW!  Contains affiliate links.

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STEAMPUNK

Think neo-Victorian, steam-powered aesthetic, black and brown, lace and leather, and top hats with accoutrements.  Contains affiliate links.

TRIBAL/ETHNIC

Think bright colors, Indian-inspired patterned leggings, chestplates, chunky necklaces, and lots and lots of unique statement jewelry.  Contains affiliate links.

Ultimately, Burning Man style is what you make of it. There are no rules and there are no limitations. So have fun and let you inner child out to play!

A special cause which is near and dear to my heart is plus size fashion on the playa.  I have a Pinterest board dedicated to all you curvy and thick ladies out there.  Check it out, if you’re so inclined.  100+ pins!


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Cookie Monster

You all know I like to shop at etsy.

I find really cool things on that site – like Star Wars hair clips, pirate hats, and rainbow bodysuits.

The latest thing I’ve found is a faux fur jacket.

And the woman who makes the jackets makes CUSTOM jackets.

I gave Tejas her name and contact info and he commissioned this:

A royal blue, full-length, faux fur burner coat to wear on the playa.

Pretty spiffy, huh?

Mine is neon green so we’ll make quite the pair walking around Black Rock City in our duds.

The only thing about this jacket, which I love by the way, is that it reminds me of Cookie Monster.

Once you’re seen it, you can’t UNSEE it.

And so I’m wondering, given that Tejas has TWO possible playa names at this point – Maximus and Thumper – if he will ultimately wind up with the playa name COOKIE MONSTER.

All on account of this jacket.

Commando

So I’m at work, wearing a lovely sunflower yellow sundress.

I got three compliments within 15 minutes of arriving at work.

One person told me “You better have a date tonight. It’d be a shame to waste that dress.”

The truth is I LOVE this dress.

I’m going to wear it to the wedding I’m going to in September.

It’s simple and understated yet festive and bright.

But I discovered a design flaw.

There is no lining.

And HOW did I discover this, you might ask?

Well I turned sideways to look at my butt in the bathroom mirror at work and discovered. . .

. . that my blue lace underwear was TOTALLY SHOWING THROUGH MY YELLOW DRESS.

Now I understand why so many people were looking at me when I went to lunch.

It wasn’t (just because ) I looked pretty.

No, it’s because they could see my knickers!

The thing is, now I have to figure out what to do to get myself through the rest of my work day without flashing too many more people my undergarments.

And I think I’ve come up with a pretty good answer.

One that will make all my “unblunder” followers proud.

I’m going commando!

 

You’re not alone, sister!

Almost 2 years ago I participated in Burning Man for the first time.

As is my usual habit, I spent A LOT of time planning and prepping.

I carefully reviewed every Burning Man Essentials list and incorporated all the items I was missing into my growing inventory.

In the end, I had 16 bins full of gear.

I may have gone overboard, but let me tell you, I was PREPARED.

Sunblock for my hair?

Check.

Essentials oils for my face mask?

Check.

Ridiculous now to think about them, but at the time I thought they were ESSENTIAL.

Needless to say, I spent a lot of time looking online for fashion guidance.

Self expression is BIG at Burning Man.

I was totally disappointed to find that 99.9% of the representations of women at Burning Man include slim women only.

Where are my thick girls? My curvy ladies?

I could find no representation of women on the playa for women OVER A SIZE 12.

What up?!

I began to wonder if I’d be the only thick girl on the playa.

Of course, that turned out to not be the case, but it still bothers me to this day that the diversity that exists on the playa is not captured by playa photographers.

And, of course, I had to remedy the situation not just by posting my playa photos on the internet, but also by creating a Pinterest board with fashion inspiration for the curvy lady planning to go to the playa.

You’re not alone, sister!

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F*CKING BOOTS!

I found a new love!

Don’t be surprised. You know I’ve been shopping around.

And the other day, WHAM!

It just happened.

I fell in love.

Friends, meet Trashville.

Isn’t he wonderful?!

Black, buckles, AND platform!

What more could a girl ask for?

This is one of the reasons why I LOVE Burning Man.

Because it gives me a place to wear SHOES LIKE TRASHVILLE!

And that pleases me more than you could imagine.

I love these shoes because they have a nice platform without being too over the top.

I have this pair of Qosmo platforms from YRU and, to be honest, I’ve turned into a yard sale more than once wearing this shoes.

Yes, I was drinking if you must know.

But Qosmo shoes are HARD TO WALK IN.

And given all the walking that goes on on the playa, I think it’s best to be a bit more subdued.

Shocking, I know.

Hold on to your panties!

Michelle actually made a RATIONAL decision.

Well, MORE rational than say these (which I also love):

stomper

It’s all relative. . .

Booty-Hanging-Out Shorts

This past weekend, my friend Kimberly and I went to the Sonoma County Fairgrounds to experience the weekend-long music festival Country Summer.

It was FUCKING hot.

I nearly melted into a puddle of sweat and self-tanner, it was that fucking hot.

John Michael Montgomery, who wears all black – black jeans, black longsleeve shirt, black cowboy hat, had to leave the stage and douse himself with water HE WAS THAT FUCKING HOT.

Needless to say, most of us festival goers dressed more appropriately, but I would like to bring up the titillating trend that I noticed at the festival – the tendency of women to wear cutoff jeans shorts with THEIR BOOTIES HANGING OUT!

You think I jest, here’s proof. . .

Yes indeed, a snapped a surreptitious photo of one of the more dramatic women I saw there.

I couldn’t help myself.

It was just there, like a mound of jello, waiting to jiggle.

And I kid you not, she was not the only one.

There were numerous women I encountered during the day whose booties were hanging out for all to see.

It’s takes a brave woman to let the whole world be your gynecologist!

Nevertheless, I’m a firm believer in “Flaunt it if you’ve got it.” So I heartily support this fashion trend.

It could be a lot worse after all.

They could be wearing these. . .

Pasties

Pasties.

No, I’m not talking about the delicious British meat pies, I’m talking about nipple covers.

Tiny little pieces of feather and tassle that adhere to the nipples.

I have a bag with 8 pairs of blinged out, rainbow pasties.

Have I ever worn them?

No.

Will I ever wear them?

Not likely.

And yet I still insist on dragging them to and from the playa every Burning Man for the past two years.

They’re packed for me to bring them again this year.

I’m not sure what insanity compels me to bring them.

It’s likely that anyone over a C cup SHOULD NOT WEAR PASTIES.

And Lord knows, I’m a G!

The most reasonable cause for my insanity is that I simply LIKE how pasties look on other people and I IMAGINE that I would have the balls to pull off wearing them myself.

In reality, my balls would have to be a lot bigger for me to do that.

Incidentally, I did slap on a pair of pasties years ago when I was visiting Tahoe with a boyfriend.

I thought it would be fun for him to “discover” me wearing them underneath my clothes.

Needles to say, he was surprised, but when it came to taking them off, PASTIES REMOVAL IS ONE OF THE MOST PAINFUL THINGS A WOMAN CAN EXPERIENCE.

Rather like vacuuming one’s nipples with a super strength hoover.

Not at all pleasant.

That is all.