Who Knew

Something I learned along the way during my adventures at Burning Man:

“Fishnet tights HURT!”

I’m not kidding, like they REALLY HURT!

They also leave waffle marks on your legs and thighs.

Did you know that recycling old tights into new tights is currently impossible so far in the textile industry?

I did not know this but it makes me feel so much better when I say:

“Fishnet tights HURT!”

I could totally live without them.

Love how they look.

Hate how they feel.

And they’re not recyclable on top of that?

Screw that!

Fortunately, there are a few companies making eco-friendly tights that turn into biomass and gas after 5 years.

But you can do the google search as well as I can.

Just putting it out there because . . . who knew?!

Mini Dress Haul

I’ve been watching YouTube influencers and they’ve inspired me to buy a selection of dresses I normally wouldn’t buy because I really want to look sexy and cute in some adorable dresses so I can get my flirt on.

Yes, the season is starting to change from summer to fall, but throw on a pair of boots or booties and call it a day.

It works for me.

Here are the dresses I bought:

I think they’re all beautiful in their own way but I’m especially pleased with the keyhole leopard print dress (add a belt) and the red rose print wrap around dress, which would pair nicely with a set of thigh high boots and a wool jacket for winter.

The red dress I love because red is one of my favorite colors.

And I love the print on the purple floral print dress.

All in all, I’d say I’ve got several new flirtatious dresses to wear when I go out and want to feel pretty and poised.

If only I could find room in my closet to hang them up. . .

Mini dress hauls are fun but challenging when it comes to storage.

 

LINKS:

Keyhole leopard print midi dress ($15) – LINK
Red rose print mini dress ($19) – LINK
Red wrap-around mini dress ($16) – LINK
Purple floral print mini dress ($16) – LINK

Mask Up!

I’m TERRIBLE at remembering my mask.

I literally leave the house and forget mine ALL THE TIME.

So I’ve started to keep a stash in my car, for when just in case becomes absolutely necessary.

Like that time I suddenly wanted to buy cake for the family at Nothing Bundt Cakes but didn’t have a mask so I couldn’t stop for the treat.

Such a shame!

What started all this was that I decided I needed to get a mask for my youngest kid and I picked out a custom bird-themed mask from Redbubble.com – an Australian company which gives over 700,000 artists and designers a meaningful new way to sell their creations.

Then, because I have TWO kids, I decided to get a flag-themed mask for my eldest child who is a proud American.

And then I picked up two more, simply because momma needs masks too. . .

Somehow, between my blinged-out and sequined masks and these masks, I should do better.

Mask up, folks!

Help prevent the spread of covid AND spoil your kids at the same time.

VOTE

I found a new shop online that I’m totally crushing on right now.

It’s Akira.com and they have quirky designs that I love.

Take for instance this GET OUT AND VOTE shirt, which I just purchased:

Now, I’m not sure if wearing it is going to encourage people to vote.

I certainly hope so.

I will probably pair this shirt with some edgy black pleather leggings, a rhinestone belt, a white handbag with black trim accents and some seriously kick ass black booties.

My birthday is the day before election day this year and I plan to wear this shirt dress ALL DAY LONG in support of democracy and the democratic process, in the hope that this election year the popular vote matches the electoral college vote.

One can only hope.

 

LINKS:

“Vote” shirtdress – $59.90 at Akira (CHEAPER)
Rhinestone buckle belt – $11.90 at Romwe
White handbag – $54.95 at Nordstom (CHEAPER) (CHEAPEST)
Pleather leggings – $44.00 at Lulu’s (CHEAPER) (CHEAPEST)
Black booties – $149.25 on sale at Macys (CHEAPER) (CHEAPEST)

A Moment of Silence

Well, I said I would report back on the boob tape and here is my assessment:

If you have larger than a C cup, I do not advise wearing boob tape or adhesive bras.

They simply don’t work that well.

That said, I WAS able to get a combination of bunny ear adhesive bras and boob tape to work.

Gratuitous shot of my cleavage.

But I had to pile so much tape on my chest and over my shoulders that I looked like a mummy all wrapped in bandages.

There is no trick to getting boob tape to work, you simply need to use A LOT OF IT.

It’s an over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder.

LITERALLY.

Now, were someone to make those bunny ear adhesive bras such that they wrap over your chest and down the back of your shoulders, that MIGHT be enough to hold larger breasts in place, but the short little ones don’t work very well at all.

I did pull the boob tape off in front of a friend, just to get a little sympathy for what turned out to be a MAJOR PAIN IN MY ASS.

All that tape I put on had to come off and it was reluctant to do so without inflicting an incredible amount of pain.

Try waxing your nipples and see how you feel.

LINKS:

Bunny Ear Adhesive “Nipple Covers”– $5.00
Boob Tape – $9.00
Fashion Nova Mustard Dress – $54.99

Braids

While surfing TikTok, I came upon the COOLEST hairstyle imaginable:

I love the faux hawk and all the silver jump ring detailing.

It reminds me a little of Selling Sunset.

In that show, several female real estate agents spice up their looks by adding braids to their hair repertoire.

There’s not much I’d emulate from this show, but the braids definitely get me.

I love them.

The trick of course is finding someone who is really good with braiding because personally I SUCK.

I can do a standard three-part braid and a French braid and THAT’S ABOUT IT.

Perhaps a good place to start would be the blow dry place by me, which offers braiding as part of their services.

I’ve got a good picture of the hairstyle.

And there’s even a tutorial put out by the stylist showing how to do it.

Whoop whoop!

When I do it, I’ll be sure to post pictures to unblunder.

Boobs

A few weeks ago, I bought this dress from Fashion Nova:

I happen to love it and think it makes a perfect fall dress.

Well, two things – one, it’s super long. Like so long I had to hem it a good 8-12 inches, so that it wouldn’t drag on the ground.

And two, you can’t wear a bra with this dress due to the plunging neckline in front AND in back.

So yesterday, I hopped online and I bought a bunch of adhesive bras.

Yes, I am going to attempt to use adhesive to tame my size G kittens.

Who knows if it’ll work or not.

First, I bought your classic boob tape:

Then I got some special “lifting” adhesive bras, just in case the engineering of a bra using tape is beyond my capacity:

And finally, I bought some of those cute bunny eared adhesive bras because YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT’S GOING TO WORK:

In reality, it’ll probably take a combination of these three items to actually secure my breasts in their proper place while wearing this dress.

For inspiration, I’m looking at this pic of Kim Kardashian:

Kim’s got some serious cleavage too and she got the tape to work for her (of course, she’s using duct tape), so I am hopeful that I will have similar results.

Wish me luck!

Winner winner chicken dinner!

I’m sure it’s going to come as a GIANT SHOCK to everyone that my red dress arrived and was WAY TOO SMALL to even be considered as a fashion option.

Honestly, it looked like nylons, when I took it out of the box.

I laughed out loud.

LOL.

Unwilling to admit defeat, I decided to EXCHANGE this dress for one that is bigger.

The good news is that I showed the dress anyway to a good friend of mine.

Like any red-blooded hetero male, he acknowledged that it was an INCREDIBLE dress.

He also admitted that I will look AMAZING in it, regardless if I buy one that is less clingy.

Cling or no cling, it’s a winner in his book.

And it’s a winner in my book too.

Seeing Red

I’m currently looking for items that go with a few outfits I’m working on.

First, the red mesh dress:

I’ve narrowed down my necklace choices to a few select items on Etsy:

Then I found these red razor blade sunglasses on Shein and my mind started spinning a whole new way:

Why not get one of those bloody chokers I’ve seen people wearing:

I haven’t made any decision yet.

I’m still scoping out possibilities.

But this red mesh dress has already got me hot and bothered and I can’t wait to finalize the outfit.

I’m going to be seeing red for days and days and days.

You never know

Once again, I fell in love with a dress and had to buy it.

Sadly, they didn’t have it in my size so I opted to sign up for notifications should it be restocked.

Lo and behold, I got a message yesterday letting me know the dress was back in stock.

So I moseyed on over to the website and snapped up one:

I’m not sure what I want it for.

I just love the colors and the chevron striping.

And I’m big on maxi dresses for fall.

It looks fairly sheer so I may need to add a slip to the dress, but overall I’m quite pleased with my selection.

One of the things I love about this fashion site is that they show their clothing on standard size models AND plus size models.

Side by side, it’s very compelling to show how clothing looks on different body types.

I applaud their creativity.

So there you have it.

A new dress for me.

Perhaps I’ll wear it around the house and enjoy sheltering in place in style.

Maybe I’ll go out on a date.

You never know.