Growing up

I’m almost ashamed to admit it.

I’ve been collecting shoes for so long based on how they look, for the first time in my life today I passed up on buying a pair of shoes because of how I think they will feel.

Cripplingly painful, is my assessment.

This is a BIG change for me.

In the past, I’ve never cared how shoes would feel on my feet.

I have several pairs of 2-hour shoes that can attest to that.

That’s right – I have shoes I can only wear for 2 hours at a time before they get incredibly painful and require their removal.

Believe you me, I have memories of a night out wearing black studded stiletto heels with an ankle chain and I REMOVED my shoes while walking the streets of San Francisco.

You know you’re desperate to get your shoes off when you’re willing to walk barefoot through grime instead of wearing them.

I think this signifies a shift in me from spending money on shoes which bring me happiness to buying shoes which don’t hobble me.

I’m growing up after all.

Feeling blue

What’s a woman to do when she purchases a royal blue off-the-shoulder velvet jumpsuit?

Why wear it, of course!

But first – ACCESSORIZE!

I first bought this stunning blue jumpsuit from Rebdolls because I fell in love with the vibrant color and the cheeky style.

Then I got this gorgeous royal blue fascinator, to go with the blue theme.

Of course, no outfit is complete without the shoes and so far I’m trying to decide between these three pairs of shoes:

As far as jewelry goes, I’m leaning towards some sleek silver drops and a delicate matching necklace.

But for my lipstick, it’s ALL NEON PINK:

I got grunge

I clearly remember thinking way back in the mid 1990s that I was bummed the fashion of my youth revolved around the grunge music scene.

For a glitter gal, the lure of the Spice Girls is stronger than the lure of Nirvana in comparison of their respective FASHIONS.

I spent my college years in boots, jeans, long sweaters, and beanies, as per the fashion of the day.

The generation behind me got faux fur, glitter, and fake eyelashes.

I’m not saying that the music was better.

I’m an alternative rock gal myself.

And I’m not saying glitter is better than plaid jackets.

I’m saying that the 21 year old in me longed for some of the glam and 90s vibe from that period.

And I knew it even back then that the young woman in me was rich and colorful and filled with strength and that she deserved more than the fashion void that was grunge.

That said, I do wonder why my “type” is always lumberjack.

Give me a man in boots, jeans, and a tight plaid flannel shirt and I’m one happy girl!

I mean perhaps, JUST perhaps, my young woman’s psyche started to fixate on the lumberjack type during my formative years immersed in grunge music and I have Pearl Jam to thank for my affection of all things big and bulky and brawny.

I’m not complaining.

In the roulette of life thankfully I landed on 1980s baby instead of 1880s baby.

I got grunge.

The Pacific Northwest.

And craft beer!

Who Knew

Something I learned along the way during my adventures at Burning Man:

“Fishnet tights HURT!”

I’m not kidding, like they REALLY HURT!

They also leave waffle marks on your legs and thighs.

Did you know that recycling old tights into new tights is currently impossible so far in the textile industry?

I did not know this but it makes me feel so much better when I say:

“Fishnet tights HURT!”

I could totally live without them.

Love how they look.

Hate how they feel.

And they’re not recyclable on top of that?

Screw that!

Fortunately, there are a few companies making eco-friendly tights that turn into biomass and gas after 5 years.

But you can do the google search as well as I can.

Just putting it out there because . . . who knew?!

Mini Dress Haul

I’ve been watching YouTube influencers and they’ve inspired me to buy a selection of dresses I normally wouldn’t buy because I really want to look sexy and cute in some adorable dresses so I can get my flirt on.

Yes, the season is starting to change from summer to fall, but throw on a pair of boots or booties and call it a day.

It works for me.

Here are the dresses I bought:

I think they’re all beautiful in their own way but I’m especially pleased with the keyhole leopard print dress (add a belt) and the red rose print wrap around dress, which would pair nicely with a set of thigh high boots and a wool jacket for winter.

The red dress I love because red is one of my favorite colors.

And I love the print on the purple floral print dress.

All in all, I’d say I’ve got several new flirtatious dresses to wear when I go out and want to feel pretty and poised.

If only I could find room in my closet to hang them up. . .

Mini dress hauls are fun but challenging when it comes to storage.

 

LINKS:

Keyhole leopard print midi dress ($15) – LINK
Red rose print mini dress ($19) – LINK
Red wrap-around mini dress ($16) – LINK
Purple floral print mini dress ($16) – LINK

Mask Up!

I’m TERRIBLE at remembering my mask.

I literally leave the house and forget mine ALL THE TIME.

So I’ve started to keep a stash in my car, for when just in case becomes absolutely necessary.

Like that time I suddenly wanted to buy cake for the family at Nothing Bundt Cakes but didn’t have a mask so I couldn’t stop for the treat.

Such a shame!

What started all this was that I decided I needed to get a mask for my youngest kid and I picked out a custom bird-themed mask from Redbubble.com – an Australian company which gives over 700,000 artists and designers a meaningful new way to sell their creations.

Then, because I have TWO kids, I decided to get a flag-themed mask for my eldest child who is a proud American.

And then I picked up two more, simply because momma needs masks too. . .

Somehow, between my blinged-out and sequined masks and these masks, I should do better.

Mask up, folks!

Help prevent the spread of covid AND spoil your kids at the same time.

VOTE

I found a new shop online that I’m totally crushing on right now.

It’s Akira.com and they have quirky designs that I love.

Take for instance this GET OUT AND VOTE shirt, which I just purchased:

Now, I’m not sure if wearing it is going to encourage people to vote.

I certainly hope so.

I will probably pair this shirt with some edgy black pleather leggings, a rhinestone belt, a white handbag with black trim accents and some seriously kick ass black booties.

My birthday is the day before election day this year and I plan to wear this shirt dress ALL DAY LONG in support of democracy and the democratic process, in the hope that this election year the popular vote matches the electoral college vote.

One can only hope.

 

LINKS:

“Vote” shirtdress – $59.90 at Akira (CHEAPER)
Rhinestone buckle belt – $11.90 at Romwe
White handbag – $54.95 at Nordstom (CHEAPER) (CHEAPEST)
Pleather leggings – $44.00 at Lulu’s (CHEAPER) (CHEAPEST)
Black booties – $149.25 on sale at Macys (CHEAPER) (CHEAPEST)

A Moment of Silence

Well, I said I would report back on the boob tape and here is my assessment:

If you have larger than a C cup, I do not advise wearing boob tape or adhesive bras.

They simply don’t work that well.

That said, I WAS able to get a combination of bunny ear adhesive bras and boob tape to work.

Gratuitous shot of my cleavage.

But I had to pile so much tape on my chest and over my shoulders that I looked like a mummy all wrapped in bandages.

There is no trick to getting boob tape to work, you simply need to use A LOT OF IT.

It’s an over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder.

LITERALLY.

Now, were someone to make those bunny ear adhesive bras such that they wrap over your chest and down the back of your shoulders, that MIGHT be enough to hold larger breasts in place, but the short little ones don’t work very well at all.

I did pull the boob tape off in front of a friend, just to get a little sympathy for what turned out to be a MAJOR PAIN IN MY ASS.

All that tape I put on had to come off and it was reluctant to do so without inflicting an incredible amount of pain.

Try waxing your nipples and see how you feel.

LINKS:

Bunny Ear Adhesive “Nipple Covers”– $5.00
Boob Tape – $9.00
Fashion Nova Mustard Dress – $54.99

Braids

While surfing TikTok, I came upon the COOLEST hairstyle imaginable:

I love the faux hawk and all the silver jump ring detailing.

It reminds me a little of Selling Sunset.

In that show, several female real estate agents spice up their looks by adding braids to their hair repertoire.

There’s not much I’d emulate from this show, but the braids definitely get me.

I love them.

The trick of course is finding someone who is really good with braiding because personally I SUCK.

I can do a standard three-part braid and a French braid and THAT’S ABOUT IT.

Perhaps a good place to start would be the blow dry place by me, which offers braiding as part of their services.

I’ve got a good picture of the hairstyle.

And there’s even a tutorial put out by the stylist showing how to do it.

Whoop whoop!

When I do it, I’ll be sure to post pictures to unblunder.

Boobs

A few weeks ago, I bought this dress from Fashion Nova:

I happen to love it and think it makes a perfect fall dress.

Well, two things – one, it’s super long. Like so long I had to hem it a good 8-12 inches, so that it wouldn’t drag on the ground.

And two, you can’t wear a bra with this dress due to the plunging neckline in front AND in back.

So yesterday, I hopped online and I bought a bunch of adhesive bras.

Yes, I am going to attempt to use adhesive to tame my size G kittens.

Who knows if it’ll work or not.

First, I bought your classic boob tape:

Then I got some special “lifting” adhesive bras, just in case the engineering of a bra using tape is beyond my capacity:

And finally, I bought some of those cute bunny eared adhesive bras because YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT’S GOING TO WORK:

In reality, it’ll probably take a combination of these three items to actually secure my breasts in their proper place while wearing this dress.

For inspiration, I’m looking at this pic of Kim Kardashian:

Kim’s got some serious cleavage too and she got the tape to work for her (of course, she’s using duct tape), so I am hopeful that I will have similar results.

Wish me luck!