New Year’s Eve

Barbara told me on New Year’s Eve that my favorite Korean Spa in Santa Clara was closed.

I was crushed!

But I managed to find a new, smaller Korean health center via Yelp and before you knew it, I was laying naked on a vinyl bed while buckets of warm water were thrown on me and my skin was scrubbed with raw silk mitts by women wearing black bras and underwear.

So in other words, more of what I was used to.

Noodles of dead skin came off me and as usual, I found myself trying to explain to my technician that I really do shower every day and wash myself.

She seemed unconvinced.

After the scrub, I got a massage with baby oil and left the Korean Spa feeling fresh as a daisy and soft as a baby’s bottom.

I went to the salon and got my hair done.

It was New Year’s Eve after all, and I was determined to get all dolled up.

I put on my mermaid ombré sequin gown which fades from gold on top to turquoise on the bottom, I slipped on a pair of sparkly shoes, and I hopped in the car with friends to get the party started.

We had a nice dinner in Santa Cruz before heading to a private NYE party in Aptos, which was OFF THE HOOK FUN!

There was a champagne toast and a balloon drop and I managed to hug and kiss many MANY people to ring in the good year.

I’ve decided that my overarching goal for 2020 will be to keep the momentum from NYE alive as I make my way through the year.

Be generous with my hugs and kisses.

Be thankful for my family and friends.

And look for ways to bring more pleasure and happiness into this world.

BOOBS!

michelleYes, this is a(nother) post about boobs.

The other day, a friend of mine told me that her nickname is “Boobs.”

Not surprisingly, she has a very impressive rack.

When I first met her, she was wearing a skull corset that set off her assets to PERFECT display.

And the other day at her birthday party, a friend took a group photo then made a point of zooming in on her cleavage and showing the rest of the group how LOVELY it was.

They ooohed and aaahed over it.

I felt sort of awkward, sitting at a table with modestly endowed women modestly dressed, being one of the few women there with impressive cleavage and rather immodestly putting them on display.

The woman sitting across from me told me she’d kill to have boobs like my friend and I.

I started to picture all the ways in which having big boobs is an asset:

  • Sneaking booze into concerts
  • Stuffing money/lipstick in your bra
  • Hiding sushi when you’ve taken too much at the all-you-can-eat sushi bar
  • Talking your way out of speeding tickets
  • Filling out a bikini
  • And so much more. . .

Sure, they often come with a bigger butt and thicker thighs but overall, I LOVE my boobs.

They’re one of the few things I actually LOVE about my body.

So score one for the well-endowed.

And cheers to “Boobs” for inspiring her friends’ admiration and awe!

It’s raining fish!

A few friends and I took to the seas and went fishing this past weekend.

We were fishing for crab and rock cod.

Despite the fact that I kept getting called “sweetheart” by the deck manager, I had a GREAT time.

Getting up at 3:45 am is not ideal, but it allows you to catch sights like the sunrise over the city.

And the Golden Gate Bridge as seen from the water

It took us 3 hours to motor out past the Farallons to our fishing “hole.”

I literally dropped my line in the water and came out with a fish.

It was RAINING FISH.

In the end, after about 4 hours of fishing, I caught 10 fish – mostly medium size rock cod.

Some were olive colored, some were red, and others were bright yellow.

It was rather amazing to see the diversity.

One guy on our boat caught a behemoth!

The thing was over 2 feet long and must’ve weight a good 20 – 30 pounds.

On our way back home from fishing, we stopped and checked our crab pots and we’d caught enough crab for everyone on the boat to get two crabs each.

A deckhand was kind enough to give me two extra so I had 6 crabs, including Tejas’ crabs.

I took the crabs to the bait shack when we got back and left them to be cooked and cleaned.

And that’s when it happened.

Someone STOLE MY CRAB.

Just walked off with the bag of my cooked and cleaned crabs, leaving me with my worthless claim ticket.

But the guys cooking the crab took mercy on me and managed to get me 6 other crabs to take home.

So all is well that ends well.

Still.

Someone stole my catch!

Bad form!

Boring crafty quilting life

I’ve begun working on a new quilt which is a nice way of saying I sat down and bought fabric for the quilt.

Personally, I wanted to see if the fabrics I selected would look good together so through photoshop magic I swapped out the blue and green colors in the original quilt for the teal and lavender fabrics I selected.

Not too shabby.

Then I found 108” wide fabric for the backing with a BEAUTIFUL watercolor floral pattern in blues and purples and I WAS SOLD.

The fabric is PERFECT for the backing of the quilt and requires no sewing on my part since it’s 108” wide.

It also ties in all the colors quite nicely and will make a good contrast against the pieced side of the quilt.

Honestly, I’m so excited about working on this quilt.

My least favorite part is cutting the fabric, and I can already tell that’s going to take the LONGEST time with this quilt.

For Barbara’s quilt, it took me 6 hours to cut all the fabric.

This time, I’m guessing it’ll be about 9 hours.

Who knows, maybe I’ll get lucky and find a short cut.

But you know I’m in a domestic mood when talking about “getting lucky” means the quilt I’m working on will take only 9 hours to cut.

This is my boring crafty quilting life.

Girlfriends

Girlfriends.

We’ve all got them.

A long time ago, I realized that the quality of my life was dependent on the quality of my friendships.

The better the friendships, the better my life.

Sex and the City gives us an idea of how integral a woman’s friendships are to her health and happiness.

I’m fortunate to have several really good friends and several new friends who help complete my life.

If you can measure the quality of my life by the quality of my friendships then I, my friends, am WINNING!

 

 

Renaissance Man

This weekend, I took a photography class from a friend who is an outstanding photographer.

He started in the beginning with how photographs are actually made, starting with the infamous “pinhole” camera.

I asked him to teach me about cameras because I want to learn to take better photographs.

For this blog and elsewhere.

And I admired his style and skill with a camera.

I learned all about apertures, f-stops and depth of field.

I learned about ISO and how higher ISO can capture images but also lose resolution, hence the need to play with exposure time and f-stop.

I discovered that you can play around with things like focal points to achieve dramatic results – such as a face that is in focus while the background is illuminated yet slightly out-of-focus creating a soft look.

Don’t worry.

I may not be explaining it well, but I took good notes and soon I’ll have my own camera to play around with.

Just as a side note, my friend took a look at my truck which had its “check engine” light on.

He figured out that I needed a new MAP (Manifold Air Pressure) sensor.

And he discovered that at one point mice were living in my air filter because they left behind EXCREMENT.

UGH!

That got cleaned up REAL FAST.

He also showed me the 5 week old kittens living in his shed and the rescue dog in his house named (I’ve been assured appropriately) Loki.

I’d love to take any foster pets from my friend and his wife but sadly, my living situation doesn’t allow.

Despite the fact that I CLEARLY am in need of rodent control at my house.

And for your viewing pleasure – a picture of the rodent poo in the air filter of my truck.

Eeeewwwwwww!

Kitten pictures would’ve been much nicer!

Queen

It’s my favorite time of year – the build-up from Halloween, and my birthday to Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Needless to say I do not suffer from season affective disorder, though I know a few people who do and it’s a terrible thing to have happen.

I love the holidays.

I EVEN love holiday music.

Yes, I’m one of THOSE people.

I think my love of the holidays comes from my mother.

Growing up, we’d decorate, cook, and listen to Christmas music during the holiday season.

I remember Mom would put on Christmas music and we’d bake cookies and pies until the dining room table was FILLED WITH TREATS!

This year I’m doing what I did last year and I’m QUILTING for the holidays.

My work shuts down for two weeks during the holidays and it’s the PERFECT time to start a quilting project.

This time, I’m looking at two quilt patterns:

The trick is that I really should make the Spruced Goose quilt because I have all the supplies to make it.

However, it’s a gift for a friend and the Star Gazing quilt is actually a more appropriate color scheme for her.

So I’m stuck.

Do I make the quilt that’s better for her or the one I’ve got all the supplies for?

Oh, the dilemma.

Turns out, I may just try to make both and decide what to do with them later.

Also, I have THIS quilt top which needs to be finalized and I haven’t created the backing for it yet so maybe I’ll finish THREE QUILTS this holiday season.

What can I say?

I am a quilt making QUEEN!

Birthday!

My birthday is coming up!

Last year I hosted a Bohemian Rhapsody themed birthday party at the premiere of Bohemian Rhapsody, the Freddie Mercury biopic.

Two years before that, I hosted a pirate’s pub crawl in Campbell with my friends.

All very fun.

This year, I’m going to my aunt and uncle’s house in Castro Valley to celebrate a late Halloween party.

I’m dressing up as a Lizzo-inspired performer.

Quite frankly, that’s as close as I can get to that bad ass bitch.

I’m excited, however.

Getting another year older is NBD.

It’s a luxury denied to many so I remind myself as I start to feel my creaking knees and spot gray hair on my head that I should be thrilled.

Lord knows that but for the grace of God, or the unraveling of the universe, I might not be where I am today.

Celebrating my birthday with family and friends.

I plan to celebrate my birthday for as long as I can and see as many friends and family as possible.

It’s just a BONUS that there’s costumes involved.

Woot!

Big Sexy Weekend!

It’s been quite a week for me, and we’re only on Tuesday.

I’ve had to recycle some blog posts because I’ve been so busy.

The Big Sexy Weekend was a BIG HUGE SUCCESS.

First, Nadine and I stopped in Port Costa for a drink at the local pub.

It turns out I didn’t even KNOW Port Costa existed, but now I know it’s there and you can stay in a hotel which was formerly a bordello.

Incidentally, the difference between a bordello and a brothel, is that a bordello is usually a higher-class establishment.

I looked it up out of curiosity.

We went on to Sacramento and hit Big Sexy Brewing for beers.

Nadine had stout, I drank Belgian golden ale.

Both were delicious and MUCH beer was imbibed.

As a bonus, the Blue Angels were flying overhead and so we enjoyed an impromptu air show while we were there.

There was a dunk tank (I managed to miss every time), a hoop performer doing a dance with LED hoops, and a woman who danced with long silk fans.

It was amazing.

The band that played (and sorry am I that I have forgotten their name) was something else.

The lead singer had a voice like Bob Dylan – all raspy, like he gargles with glass/

The music was a combination of influences including Southern Rock, Jimi Hendrix, and more.

All in all, a good time was had by all and I didn’t even mind that at some point in the evening a truckload of firemen showed up.

BONUS!

Who doesn’t enjoy attractive men in tight blue shirts?!

Not me!

Old Lady

I have an interesting hobby for a 45 year old woman.

I quilt.

I’ve been quilting for 20 years and because of this, my Instagram feed show a lot of work in progress quilts and finished quilts.

My Instagram is linked to my Tinder account so all the men I match with can see my handiwork.

Some of my quilts turned out quite beautiful, like this one I made for Barbara over Christmas break last year and one I made for family friends who lost their son with a pattern called
Storm at Sea:

If you were to ask me what kind of art do I make, I’d tell you I’m into textile arts.

I LOVE my quilts and every single one I’ve made has been donated to friends or family, with a lot of love.

It takes time and patience and a little bit of serendipity to turn fabric by the yard into a pieced quilt.

I proud of the work I do.

So you can imagine my surprise when someone on Tinder MADE FUN of my quilting.

“Wouldn’t know you’re 45 except for the quilting,” he texted me.

I defended myself, saying that I make modern quilts, not grandma quilts.

He replied by saying, “All quilts are grandma quilts.”

So, I present to you my impression of a grandma quilt and my impression of a modern quilt and you tell me if you can’t tell the difference:

Needless to say, homeboy didn’t get too far in seducing me.

Women don’t take kindly to being aged beyond their years and just because I make quilts DOES NOT make me a grandma.

Hmph!