A Steady Diet of Kisses

When you’ve been single for a while, flirting comes as easily as breathing.

Breathe in.

Plant a kiss on your favorite single guy.

Breathe out.

So imagine me at unSCruz, trying to not flirt because I was there with The Swede.

All those delicious men who flirt back with me and make me feel sexy and appealing. . .

. . .they were off limits.

I’ve gotten in the habit of kissing as many people as possible.

It’s a hard habit to break and fortunately, given that The Swede has a more European view of things, I didn’t have to.

I went around kissing all my friends – male, female, trans, bi, gay, furry – you name it, I was kissing it.

Of course, the best kisser in the whole bunch was The Swede.

He would grab me and kiss me, just because.

Or say something provocative and then plant one on me.

For someone who is usually starving for affection, I got a steady diet of it during unSCruz.

So much so that I know it’s going to be hard for me to go without it.

The Swede leaves for Sweden today.

And I am going to miss him.

 

 

The Wedding

My wedding – February 2, 1996

If you ask me what are the top 5 weddings I’ve attended, the unSCruz wedding would have to be at the top of my list, just under my own wedding.

I got so emotional as I watched the father-of-the-bride walk his daughter down the rose lined aisle.

It was a beautiful ceremony and one that was infused with the flavor of the couple getting married.

The bride wore horns.

The groom wore a crown.

They were perfectly matched and watching them share their love with their family and friends, one couldn’t help but be moved by the total and utter devotion they showed each other.

It was truly a sight to see.

Of course, the family and friends of the bride and groom were equally festive for the nuptials.

I saw belly dancers, fairies, steampunk outfits, wedding dresses, Greek goddesses, peacocks, saris, you name it – it was out there on display.

Everywhere you turned there was something to look at.

The wedding was a melting pot of styles and flavors.

So beautiful.

The Swede saved me a spot up front by the bride and groom so I got to hear the exchange of vows and watch the handfasting up close.

They promised to love one another til the end of time.

What else is there?

 

Milestones

May 13, 2016

According to Tinder, that’s the day that I first met The Swede.

Some of you have been asking how I met The Swede and the truth is I met him on Tinder.

He was on a business trip to the Bay Area from his home in Stockholm, Sweden and was looking for a tour guide.

I was online looking to meet someone cool.

I agreed to take him to Santa Cruz.

I love going to Santa Cruz and playing tour guide to people who are unfamiliar with the area.

We ate on the Wharf, played air hockey, and I made him take off his shoes and dip his feet in the Pacific Ocean.

I taught him to eat raw oysters, though he wasn’t a big fan.

He was soft spoken and shy, unlike me.

He left for home the next day and I thought perhaps I might see him again if he came back for another work trip.

And of course, I did see him on his next trip.

And his next trip.

It took 3 dates to get him to kiss me, but now that we’ve kissed, the trick is getting us to STOP KISSING.

Well, the WHOLE reason why I’m writing this post is because it’s May 13, 2017 – which means I have officially known him for an ENTIRE year!

Milestones.

The Weekend Boyfriend

For the weekend of unSCruz, I had a boyfriend.

The Swede went with me and basically admirably filled the position.

  • He helped me load and unload my truck.

Twice!

  • He helped me get Tejas back to camp Friday night (after we lost him for 4 hours).
  • He helped cook and clean.
  • He wore costumes.
  • He held my hand and told me I was beautiful.
  • He kept me warm on the cold nights in Watsonville.
  • And he gave me a thorough tongue lashing.

Yes, that means EXACTLY what you think it does.

The Swede was sweet.

For all my worries that he would have trouble fitting in, The Swede did JUST FINE.

Better than fine.

He was AWESOME.

He even let me take post-coital photos of the two of us.

unSCruz was a blast and I can’t wait to blog about all the things that happened.

But by and large, the BEST PART OF THE WEEKEND?

The Swede.

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FLASHBACK – UnSCruz 2016: Day 2

IMG_9569Here’s a flashback to last year’s UnScuz:

 

The upside of camping at UnSCruz is that you get to party with your friends in one of the most creative and stimulating environments you can imagine.

The downside of camping at UnSCruz is that you may partake just a wee bit too much of the jungle juice and wind up with a wicked hangover the next morning. . . and the memory of taking a tumble on the grass in front of everyone.

Which is basically what happened to me.

Yes, too many vodka and lemonades for me made for a REALLY fun Friday night but a VERY somber Saturday.

I managed to drag myself around the fairgrounds with a friend on Saturday. We saw the sights – a guy with a baby gosling. A stegasauraus art car. We even visited the rose garden and saw a rose called (I kid you not) Ketchup & Mustard.

rose_Ketchup_And_Mustard IMG_9572

We even saw a derby race where pairs of people ran around a course, one with their arms tied around the others waist and the other wearing a horse head which effectively blinded them from seeing where they were going. Great fun, btw!

But I was flat.

Deadpan.

I was barely making it from one step to the next.

My head was ringing.

I was determined not to let anyone see how hungover I was.

Silly girl needs to watch her liquor intake!

Finally, after sampling a little of my sangria at Mist’R Cool’s potluck, I begged off the evening’s activities.

I climbed into bed, put in my earplugs, slipped myself two ativans, and crashed in my tent trailer.

Not exactly the illustrious ending to my camping trip I was hoping for.

Next year, I will be better company.

I will drink beer instead of vodka.

And I will dance til the sun comes up.

Just saying. . .

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FLASHBACK – UnSCruz 2016: Day 1

IMG_9569Here’s a flashback to last year’s UnScuz:

 

UnSCruz was a pounding, loud, nipple-sucking, rainy weather, chilly, vodka-filled, sangria-soaked, cheesy good time.

More on the nipple sucking later.

It started out laborious.

We had to set up our camps in the pouring rain.

Definitely. Not. Fun.

Both Marina and I were challenged to operate in these adverse conditions and we finally found ourselves sitting around the table in my little tent trailer, eating KFC and taking shelter from ALL THAT RAIN.

Todd, Marina’s boyfriend, was a trooper. He kept our spirits high while he himself was soaked to the bone.

If I was on Survivor, I’d definitely want Todd and Marina on my team.

So my little tent trailer got set up.

IMG_9528I sacked out inside the tent and attempted to warm up with some vodka and lemonade before the evening’s festivities.

The rain stopped around 6 pm and we all ventured outside to cook dinner (spaghetti and meatballs) and then go mingle with friends.

Ali Bar Bar was CRAZY FUN!

It could be that a girl, who shall remain nameless, wound up showing off her breasts to a handful of people, two of whom decided to play with her nipples AT THE SAME TIME.

Wild.

Much drinking and merriment ensued and I am happy to report I did not go to bed alone.

I had a bed buddy who helped me warm up my bed so I was nice and toasty before I fell asleep.

Sigh.

It’s the little things – like a nice warm bed – that make me happy.

IMG_9533 IMG_9535
IMG_9540 IMG_9545
IMG_9546 IMG_9547

 

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Nerves

I’m starting to feel a little overwhelmed by unSCruz.

A lot EXCITED but a little NERVOUS.

After all, I’m cooking for two men (and myself) and serving as “Entertainment Director” for my visitor from Sweden.

That’s A LOT.

Just the other day Tejas asked me how he was going to get refills of his drink if I’m wandering around with The Swede.

You see, Tejas’ knees make it improbable for him to wander around on the uneven surface of the Fairgrounds.

It’s better for him to pick a spot (like Ali Bar Bar) and set himself up in a seat there and chat with visitors at that location than it is for him to hike all over meeting people.

I told him, “You’ll just have to wait until I swing by.”

Or, BRING A VERY BIG CUP!

Truth is, there’s a lot that could go wrong at unSCruz this weekend.

I hope I get to relax and I’m not running around cooking and cleaning the whole time.

Last year, I was very nicely taken care of by Marina’s boyfriend Todd.

He did almost all the cooking and cleaning for us.

In the drizzling rain, no less!

Fortunately, Marina and Todd are coming to unSCruz this weekend as well and they’re bringing friends.

Newbie friends.

Can’t wait to see what they think of the whole regional Burning Man experience!

My favorite picture from last year’s unSCruz is a picture of Marina and Todd, in my tent trailer, eating KFC after setting up in the rain.  They’re wet and they look bedraggled.

Yeah, the weekend was off to a rough start but got much better after that.

This weather forecast calls from sunny/cloudy weather, which will be PERFECT for unSCruz.

Although I admit there’s a lot that can go wrong, I’m just going to go ahead and predict SUCCESS on my part right now.

Gonna knock it out of the ballpark!

Bra fitting

Last Saturday, Barbara convinced me to go for a bra fitting at Nordstrom.

She lured me in with the promise of the best Taiwanese dim sum at Din Tai Fung.

They have a Michelin star.

And boy was the food awesome!

I licked my plate clean, I swear.

But on to the bra fitting.

I went into a fitting room with Debbie, my Nordstom bra fitter.

I got topless.

She pulled out her measuring tape and measured me. . .

. . .  and declared me to be a 38G.

Holy shit!

G?!

I didn’t even know that boobs could grow that big, let alone that they make bras that big!

All along I thought I was a D.  Perhaps a double D.

But Barbara knew better.

Debbie proceeded to find me bras and helped me try them on.

Odd being topless around a fully clothed stranger, but okay. . .

In the end, I bought one bra.

For $100!

Apparently well sized bras for big boobs don’t come cheap.

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Get off?

Yvonne’s has been planning a party for months to celebrate the life of her husband who passed away a year ago.

Since I am an event planner, I helped her with some of the details.

I made a very detailed production plan for her I was quite proud of.

The party was this past weekend.

Consider all these elements coming together: camping all weekend long, a motorcycle ride, a DJ, a dance floor, an authentic shawarma machine, a fire pit, a photo booth, luxury restrooms, a potluck buffet dinner, an after party, and so much more.

It was a HUGE undertaking and came off without a hitch.

Well, except for the get off.

Which doesn’t mean what you think it means.

Apparently in motorcycle riding lingo, a get off is when a motorcycle and its rider part company due to instability, impending accident, or a sudden maneuver.

It was frightening to hear about even though we were all assured the rider was okay.

So there was A LITTLE drama, but not much.

The speeches were beautiful.

The dancing was fun.

And the company was outstanding.

And just because I took photos in the photobooth with Tejas and Yvonne, I’m going to post them here and say: LOVE YOU BOTH!

Family Photo Time

It’s time again for my annual family photo and I’m so happy that this year the lovely Yvonne will be taking our picture.

She’s already given me GREAT advice about what to wear, bring, etc.

The trick, as always, is getting my boys there.

The first time I did this to them they gave me a hard time about it.

The second time went smoother.

And this time, I think it’ll be even easier.

In true motherly fashion, I have GUILT TRIPPED my boys into taking the photo.

I reminded them: MOTHER’S DAY IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER. . .

Truth be told, I wish my boys were a little more helpful and participatory when it comes to helping out and doing things.

This past weekend, Yvonne held a party for her late husband and close to 60 people showed up to remember him fondly.

Yvonne is also mother to two boys and they showed up and helped out and were basically incredible.

It made me a little wistful thinking of my own boys.

Hopefully they will mature into men who are more helpful and supportive. Hopefully I’ve laid the right groundwork and it’s just a matter of time until I see them mature into the fine young men I know they can be.

But for now it’s all about video games, and cars, and animals, and avoiding me.

Sigh.

So here are the outfits my boys and I are wearing for our photoshoot – pastel green, blues, and purples for us. Should be BEAUTIFUL!

We’re going to Natural Bridges in Santa Cruz to take our photos.