You can be a successful businessman with a masters in Marketing and a really fantastic VP of Marketing job. You can live in a gorgeous house in Santa Cruz with a 10-year-old mortgage, no ex-wife, and no children (which you really, really want). You can have an adorable lab who loves to kiss my (crazy) dog. You can have bonuses and quarterly stock options up the wazoo.
But when you lick my ear for 3 minutes straight, I am REALLY going to question our suitability.
It’s not that I want to be bitchy about it but I swear, anything more than a little nibble makes me want to shower with Ajax!
So I got a new tattoo in Reno – a watercolor butterfly on my foot.
And I loved it until the artist decided to color outside the lines.
Now it reminds me of a drawing by a kindergartner…
on my foot…
Oh crap! What have I done?!
You’d think that would be the worst of it, but no, YOU’D BE WRONG!
You see I (accidentally aka stupidly) got my foot wet in my sister’s hot tub right after I got the tattoo. So today I spent the afternoon at the hospital, getting a raging foot infection looked at.
And now I’m on antibiotics.
All for a lousy tattoo a toddler could have given me.
… but at the end, I’m pretty sure he throws up the birthday cake he ate on his 5th birthday. This is why I will never be on Fear Factor.