Valentine’s Weekend

Valentine’s Day came and went and if I was expecting to get spanked by the holiday, I was in for disappointment.

Red roses arrived at the house, as did a large pink heart made from (of all things) a pool noodle, and a box of (my favorite) dark chocolate.

But that’s not all.

There’s a new cheese shop in Capitola near the mall and I finally got to try cheese samples and buy a shit ton of cheese.

I bought about a dozen wedges of cheese.

You know how I feel about cheese.

Cheese is love.

Furthermore, I actually spent a nice day on Saturday driving around Santa Cruz and heading out to Pescadero along highway one.

In Pescadero, I stopped at the market and bought a loaf of artichoke bread to enjoy with the cheese.

Then, despite the fact that I have thrown up from motion sickness on the drive home, I took the windy mountain roads home, stopping only at Safeway to buy a few bottles of wine.

The wine was consumed with the cheese and the bread at home while playing a fun game of Scrabble.

And then for Valentine’s Day, I hosted a little zoom gathering where we shared entertaining stories, songs, poetry, and readings.

Over 15 friends showed up to celebrate what otherwise might have been a lonely night for me.

All in all, it’s been a lovely weekend.

And the best part?

It’s not over!

Tomorrow is President’s Day and so I have another day to do whatever the hell I want to do.

Not such a sucky holiday after all

Valentine’s Day is rapidly approaching and I’ve finally gotten up off my ass to do something.

First, I bought SNARKY Valentine’s Day cookies for my kids.

They know I love them, they just prefer rude cookies over polite ones.

Second, I set up a zoom for a Valentine’s Day gathering complete with frosty beverages, entertainment, and plenty of snarky comments.

So if any of my friends are available, they are welcome to join me over the internet to celebrate.

I didn’t hire entertainment this time around.

Although I would LOVE to hear Rachel Lark belt out “You try writing a love song” on Valentine’s Day.

This time around I’m hoping that I can serve as entertainment.

I’ve memorized a poem and I plan to recite it for everyone and encourage them to do the same and share their talents with us.

Songs.

Poetry.

Dad jokes.

Magic tricks.

Whatever works for my friends works for me.

So if you’re curious what I’ll ACTUALLY be doing for Valentine’s Day, the answer is I’ll be wearing a onesie and hat and entertaining friends online.

It’s not such a sucky holiday after all.

Valentine’s Day 2020

I had a WONDERFUL Valentine’s Day!

First of all I drove my mom to the airport so I had an early start to my Friday which meant when my office closed early for the holiday weekend, I got to start my weekend EVEN EARLIER!

Woot!

Many people sent me text messages wishing me a Happy Valentine’s Day.

I mean, how can you be SOUR when your friends and family pepper you with love?!

Then I took an uber to Campbell and I had a lovely dinner with Nadine before we commenced drinking and socializing with our friends for the Onesie Pub Crawl.

We hopped around from bar to bar and at each location, I drank a gin and tonic or two.

Round about 11 pm everyone headed to my least favorite spot In downtown Campbell so I called it a night and proceeded to head home.

Where I spent the next fee hours swiping right and left on Tinder.

Ah ha ha!

All in all, it truly was a lovely day and an even better evening.

I really had a blast watching people’s faces LIGHT UP when they spotted us in our crowd of onesies.

But the BEST part of the evening had to be when a firetruck filled with handsome firemen drove by me on the street and I caught the fireman on the rig smiling reflexively when they saw us.

Happy Valentine’s Day indeed!

Nobody loves me

Valentine’s Day is creeping up on me like a bad toe fungus and I find myself in the uncomfortable position once again of being single for a holiday that celebrates couplehood.

I can practically feel the bile rising in my throat when I think of all the sugary sweet sentiments that will be posted onto Facebook for couples celebrating being a couple.

It’s downright nauseating.

Of all the holidays, this is my LEAST favorite.

I can dress up for Halloween.

I can buy gifts for Christmas.

I can cook a ham for Easter.

All of these holidays are easy to participate in.

But not so much Valentine’s Day.

And there’s nothing I dislike more than feeling LEFT OUT.

But left out is what I am.

I am reminded of a song a gentleman sang for me in college:

“Nobody love me.

Nobody cares.

Nobody feeds me peaches and pears.”

So, you have been forewarned to expect quite a bit of sass out of me as this holiday approaches.

Because I’m sure as hell not pleased that (yet again) I must survive another fucking Valentine’s Day ALONE.

Thanks for the goddamn reminder!

Anti-Valentine’s Day 2021

Valentine’s Day is coming up and you know what that means?

Nothing.

I’m not celebrating this year.

Per my usual, I am not participating in this holiday.

Not even to participate in Table for Onesie, which can’t take place because of Covid-19.

I’m not even going to buy my kids shitty sugar cookies with clever messages written on them like:

Meh

Fuck Off

Next

I HATE this fucking holiday.

I’m expecting a round of “look at my perfect love story” posts to hit Facebook from all my coupled up friends.

Okay, maybe not all my coupled up friends.

Some of them detest the holiday as much as I do.

Screw you, VD!

All I want for Christmas

I know I say this every year but this year I really mean it.

More than anything, I really want this to be my last year of being solo during the holidays.

Nothing is wrong with me.

I’m a perfectly decent human being.

I’m probably much better equipped to handle a relationship than I was when I was married.

I’m older and wiser and much better at listening to others and really hearing what they need.

It’s a lifelong process, getting along with other people.

Some days I succeed, some days I fail.

But I’d be lying if I were to say that it doesn’t bother me to be YET AGAIN single during the holidays.

All I want for Christmas is my one true love.

No Santa Cons

I’m horribly disappointed this year.

There are no Santa Cons.

To me, the south bay Santa Cons are a hallmark of the coming festivities and I LOVE to get dressed up and attend.

Every year I go as something different.

I’ve been a reindeer, a Grinch, Mrs. Claus, a Santa-ette and a lavender Christmas cutie.

More than anything though I miss seeing my friends.

It was so nice to go from bar to bar, sipping on drinks and socializing with friends.

So take a walk with me down memory lane and see some of my past Santa Con pics:

Pour yourself a glass of your favorite beverage, hop on a zoom with your favorite friends and have a little Santa Con!

Merry Christmas to one and all!

Bring on the glitter beards!

There’s a new trend which I am totally in love with.

It combines two of my loves:

Christmas and beards.

Ladies and denizens, I present to you THE GLITTER BEARD!

Isn’t it awesome?

I’m following “glitter beard” on Instagram and TikTok because I’m so enthralled with glitter beards.

What could be better than combining a little holiday festive glitter with a nice beard?

Nothing, I tell you.

This is the pinnacle of Christmas spirit and I’m loving it.

Bring on the glitter beards!