As we all know, Father’s Day is fast approaching.
I have mixed feelings about Father’s Day mainly because my father basically doesn’t want any acknowledgement of the holiday.
And because he’s a cranky old man.
But even cranky old men deserve a little love and so my sister and I bought him two bottles of 2017 Chateau Kefraya Blanc de Blancs.
Not a huge financial undertaking, just a gesture gift.
Lebanese wine for an old Lebanese man, perfecto!
Plus it’s from the Bekaa Valley which is where my dad hails from so there’s that.
And while we’re on the topic of gifts, I also got my youngest a gift. . . just because:
Parakeet shorts, for my parakeet lover in the family.
Of course, I had to get a matching t-shirt for her as well:
So there you have it – gifts for my loved ones.
All I need is something for my birth father and it’s all taken care of.
I had a WONDERFUL Valentine’s Day!
First of all I drove my mom to the airport so I had an early start to my Friday which meant when my office closed early for the holiday weekend, I got to start my weekend EVEN EARLIER!
Many people sent me text messages wishing me a Happy Valentine’s Day.
I mean, how can you be SOUR when your friends and family pepper you with love?!
Then I took an uber to Campbell and I had a lovely dinner with Nadine before we commenced drinking and socializing with our friends for the Onesie Pub Crawl.
We hopped around from bar to bar and at each location, I drank a gin and tonic or two.
Round about 11 pm everyone headed to my least favorite spot In downtown Campbell so I called it a night and proceeded to head home.
Where I spent the next fee hours swiping right and left on Tinder.
Ah ha ha!
All in all, it truly was a lovely day and an even better evening.
I really had a blast watching people’s faces LIGHT UP when they spotted us in our crowd of onesies.
But the BEST part of the evening had to be when a firetruck filled with handsome firemen drove by me on the street and I caught the fireman on the rig smiling reflexively when they saw us.
Happy Valentine’s Day indeed!
I bought a cookie bouquet for my kids.
I wish there was an option to get Anti-Valentine’s Day cookies.
Cookies with messages like:
But sadly, it seems that love triumphs over disinterest and so I’m stuck with actually sending messages of love to my kids instead of snark.
I know they prefer snark.
If you’re not over him yet and you’re harboring just a little hatred in your heart, you can now make a donation to the El Paso Zoo and have them name a cockroach after your ex right before they feed the little stinker to a meerkat!
I’m telling you, this idea is BRILLIANT!
I wrote my first of many love letters to a dear “old” friend of mine.
We happened to be texting.
And I’m not sure if it was the effects of watching Ellen Degeneres or the booze I was drinking, but the love just started pouring out of me.
I started out by pointing out what a gift he is in my life:
“I know what a gift you are. You’re extraordinary. A true gentleman and a romantic with a generous heart and a playful spirit.”
I went on to tell him, “I think it’s important to tell loved ones that they are loved. You are one of my favorite people in the world. And I love you.”
There’s so much I admire about him.
He’s a hopeless romantic.
He is so full of love that he can’t bear to not have someone to give it to.
I love his dry sense of humor and how he is self-deprecating about the things that worry him the most.
And if something happened to me tomorrow, he knows that he has made my life better by just being in it and that I love him dearly.
And do you know what?
He loves me too!
Isn’t that a blessing?!
I could get used to writing love letters to my family and friends.
Let’s face it, not very many people like Valentine’s Day. So if it’s got you down, here’s a girl’s guide to surviving THE WORST holiday ever created.
Remember to celebrate your friends with an appropriately worded card:
Don’t forget you can always “opt out” of the holiday entirely:
But if you want to still be a part of the holiday, don’t fret. Everyone knows LOVE SUCKS:
Plenty of other people have black hearts on Valentine’s Day:
So you might as well ADORN yourself with the sentiment:
Don’t be afraid to express how you feel:
Really put it out there:
So that everyone can see:
And remember to celebrate what makes you happy:
Because you are a BAD ASS BITCH:
There’s no such thing as PERFECT so learn to COMPROMISE:
Don’t be afraid to celebrate life’s little adequacies:
Ultimately, you are EVERYTHING you need:
And remember, I’m not yours. You’re not mine. Be my Anti-Valentine:
Ok, so every year around Valentine’s Day I post links to etsy Anti-Valentine’s Day gift ideas and this year will be no different.
Fuck Valentine’s Day banner – I blog my hatred of Valentine’s Day, you can hang a banner.
Ah ha ha ha – perfect card for me to send to my sister.
Anti-Valentine’s Day cookies – for my snarky 18 year old to pass out to their friends.
Love is in the Air tank top – better stop breathing!
An Anti-Valentines’ Day mug – about as romantic as I could get for this fucking disaster of a holiday.
Oh yes, the CLASSIC “Cupid rhymes with stupid” tee – so you can broadcast what you really feel.
Fuck off necklace – don’t you just love the profanity of it? You can’t say it doesn’t send a message.
Ah, well I love tasteless cards, and this is one of them.
Another card I’d like to send to my ex.
Pins for Single Awareness Day – don’t be afraid to show the world what you think.
The best part of Valentine’s Day? An excuse to drink excessively and drown your frustrations.
And last, a bandana which I would put on my dog if I had one but oh yeah, she died and now not even my dog is there to love me. Tears!
Valentine’s Day is coming up and I’m going on a pub crawl with friends.
It’s a Table for Onesie Pub Crawl, so we will all be dressed up in unisex onesies.
I have seemingly a hundred onesies in my collection and I need to select one to wear that night.
I’m leaning towards my purple star onesie, basically because I love the idea of wearing my lavender wig.
But also, a rainbow unicorn would be nice.
I’m planning on taking an uber to and from the pub crawl so I can drink without worrying about getting a DUI.
Nothing like hoping into an uber in a big purple star onesie and a lavender wig to say “it’s time to PARRRRRTY!”
Valentine’s Day is coming.
And already I know what I’m doing.
I’m getting dressed up in a onesie, heading out to downtown for an un-valentiney Valentine’s Day pub crawl.
Now, we all know I’m game for anything that starts with beer and ends with more beer.
But this is more than just a progressive.
This is a powerful statement about the pressures put on people to see life in terms duality instead of complexity – from genders to relationships.
Yup, that’s a nod to my trans and poly friends.
Good things come in more than just two.
I’m going to get dressed in my onesie and join my fellow single and coupled up friends in celebrating a day for love, be it romantic or based on friendship, in a very non-traditional way.
Nadine will be joining me, so I have that to look forward to.
Sometimes I feel like the measure of my happiness is NOT the health of my romantic relationship/s but instead in the strength of my female friendships.
I’ll be celebrating that for Valentine’s Day, instead of feeling bad for myself or lonely.
Valentine’s Day is creeping up on me like a bad toe fungus and I find myself in the uncomfortable position once again of being single for a holiday that celebrates couplehood.
I can practically feel the bile rising in my throat when I think of all the sugary sweet sentiments that will be posted onto Facebook for couples celebrating being a couple.
It’s downright nauseating.
Of all the holidays, this is my LEAST favorite.
I can dress up for Halloween.
I can buy gifts for Christmas.
I can cook a ham for Easter.
Eat Mexican food on Cinco de Mayo.
All of these holidays are easy to participate in.
But not so much Valentine’s Day.
And there’s nothing I dislike more than feeling LEFT OUT.
But left out is what I am.
I am reminded of a song a gentleman sang for me in college:
“Nobody love me.
Nobody feeds me peaches and pears.”
So, you have been forewarned to expect quite a bit of sass out of me as this holiday approaches.
Because I’m sure as hell not pleased that (yet again) I must survive another fucking Valentine’s Day ALONE.
Thanks for the goddamn reminder!