Not-so-mellow yellow

I went to Holi last weekend and had a blast with Barbara and Yvonne.

Afterwards, when it was time to shower, I stepped into my shower with my filthy white flip flops on (to wash them to).

I stuck my head under the bath tub spout (no low flow shower head for me) and I proceed to turn the entire bathtub PURPLE for the next 15 seconds.

A deep, vibrant PURPLE!

So it comes as  a bit of a surprise that when all is said and done, I managed to turn a patch of my hair A BRIGHT YELLOW and not purple.

See. . .

Now, if you’ve been following me long enough, you  know that I actually turned my whole head of hair yellow a few years ago.

I had to rush into the hair salon to get it fixed because I worked in an office where EASTER EGG YELLOW HAIR would be frowned upon.

This, I can live with.

To see pictures from the 2016 and 2015 Holi festivals click here and here.

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Color me happy

Once again, I somehow managed to convince not one but TWO friends that it would be fun to run around on a muddy field throwing paint at each other for Stanford’s Holi celebration.

Poor Barbara and Yvonne.

Truthfully, Barbara knew EXACTLY what she was getting into because she went with me last year.

Yvonne was a total newbie and it was fun introducing her to the CHAOS THAT IS HOLI.

Think Indian music, Bollywood dancing, Indian food, and A WHOLE LOT OF COLOR!

Basically you go to Holi to enjoy this festival of spring by throwing color on all your friends.

A few tips:

  1. Wear sunglasses to protect your eyes.
  2. Keep your mouth closed or you’ll be eating color.
  3. Whatever you do, DON’T GET WET. The dye will set in.
  4. Wear white. It shows off the color to the best advantage.
  5. Have fun and wish everyone a HAPPY HOLI!

Here is our BEFORE photo!

And here we are mid festival:

And finally, what we look like when we exited the festival:
So much fun!

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Happy St. Patrick’s Day

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

May your day be filled with shenanigans and malarkey!

Drink a green beer, scarf down some corned beef and potatoes and celebrate everyone being at least a little Irish for a day.

In my case, 23andMe confirmed it.

I’m 30% Irish.

Which seems like a lot, doesn’t it?

Certainly enough to celebrate St/ Patrick’s Day in style.

Of course I’m also 35% Northwestern European (Norway, Sweden, Switzerland, Scandanavia, etc.)

But today I celebrate being IRISH!

Cheers!

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The post where I wear a lobster in my hair

This past weekend I went to the Salvador Dali Anti Valentine’s Day Arti Parti with Barbara.

fullsizerender1I showed up wearing black leggings and a Toxic Love sweatshirt.

I also had a lobster on my head because, you know, who doesn’t wear a lobster on their head for a Dali Arti Parti?

fullsizerenderTejas and his lady love Yvonne showed up to the party all dressed up as well and Tejas took this lovely photo of me:

img_0971Could I look any worse?

Honestly, it’s SO BAD it’s good.

All that’s missing is a beer in my hand.

So I spent the night sitting in the corner chair dancing my heart out while drinking coronas.

It was a blast!

But I must say, I was a little disappointed.

I thought I’d be the only one wearing a lobster on my head and it turns out a BUNCH of other people showed up with lobsters – notably a woman wearing a bra with two lobsters attached and a pair of underwear with a lobster attached.

Link to the picture is HERE.

Who knew I’d b upstaged by a LOBSTER BIKINI!!!

And I never thought I’d write those two words together.

Go figure.

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Happy VD bitches!

av12Well, it’s finally here.

Valentine’s Day.

I’m going to celebrate with a few friends by drinking beer at a pizza parlor before I go home and crawl into bed with a glass of wine and Supernatural.

Yes, Jensen and Jared are my Valentines this V-Day.

Plus I have one snuggly teenage boy and one not-so-snuggly teenage boy I will pepper with kisses and hugs until they cry UNCLE.

Mom!  Please!

Happy Valentine’s Day y’all!

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St. Patrick’s Day outfit

So, as it turns out, St. Patrick’s Day is the same day as the night of the Rummage Sale Preview Party for the Junior League.

I LOVE to go to the Rummage Sale.  And I LOVE to go to parties.  So the idea of getting to attend BOTH AT THE SAME TIME has me in a tizzy.

Best of all, the Preview Party ALWAYS has a theme – like Hoe Down or Mardi Gras.

Well this year, not surprisingly, the theme is ST. PATRICK’S DAY!

Yay!  Green!

Wanna see what I’m wearing?

I seriously bought THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GREEN DRESS:

green-dressAnd I’m pairing it with a custom green velvet fascinator:

green-fascinatorAnd of course, since I’m such a lucky person, I’ll be wearing my GOLD SANDALS!

gold sandalsThe best part of the Rummage Sale is that ALL PROCEEDS go to support local charities which provide goods and services to low income families.

It’s a win-win situation!

Also. . .  I get to clear out the rummage in my garage and donate it to a GREAT cause!

More Anti-Valentines Day Links

Wanna watch a movie on Valentine’s Day but avoid a sappy romance? Try 10 Anti-Valentine’s Movies by shortlist. Or 12 Anti-Valentines’s Day Movies via Your Tango.

Now fuck off and die video clip from Closer starring Clive Owen and Julia Roberts.  NSFW, turn the volume D O W N !

25 Anti-Valentine’s Day Gifts for Your Single Girlfriends via Popsugar.  Because HOES BEFORE BROS, you know!

Anti-Valentine’s Day Cards for someone not so special via Jezebel.  Because let’s face it, sometimes taking the low road feels AWFULLY good.  My personal favorite (which I’d dedicate to The Hunk) is below:

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Broken heart coloring page via Roots Design on Etsy.  Vent those frustrations in technicolor!

A whole outfit put together to make you look BADASS on Valentine’s Day via murmur5000 on Polyvore.  Except for maybe those glossy burgundy lips.  Those lips have “PRINCESS” written all over them.

11 LOL Memes That Perfectly Describe How You Really Feel About Valentine’s Day via Seventeen.  My favorite is below:

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Valentine’s Day and the shit storm of social media

michelleI’m bracing myself for it.

I know it’s going to come.

I’m going to log in to Facebook on February 14th and I’m going to be INUNDATED with people professing their love for one another.

It’s going to be a real shit storm.

Now, I’ve got to be honest.

When you coupled up people post how awesome your partner is and how much you love them on EVERY ANNIVERSARY, I throw up a little in my mouth.

Really?  Is that truly necessary?

Every fucking anniversary?

We get it.  You’re in love.

After all, you’re still together, right?

I just assume you think your partner is awesome and that you love them.  That’s the status quo folks.  You don’t need to post it.

It’s rather annoying, but O. K.

Then Valentine’s Day hits and my Facebook feed is filled with declarations of love and. . .

OMG, I puked a little just thinking about it.

You know what I want to hear?

I want to hear how much you love your partner when they give you their kidney when yours go bad.  Or when they stay up all night long watching over you because you are sick.  I want to hear that you love your partner when they drive 300 miles to pick you up because you got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere.  Or when they came and cleaned up your cat that got eaten by a coyote because you couldn’t bear to do it yourself.

But some trumped up, pink and red holiday sentiment just doesn’t do it for me.

Keep it real folks, that’s all I’m saying.

Just keep it real.

 

Another Anti-Valentine Day post

I know what you’re wondering.

You’re wondering “How long can this woman stay mad at Valentine’s Day?

And the answer is – A LONG TIME.

This year I will be going to a friend’s Anti-Valentine’s Day party in the Santa Cruz mountains.

The theme is “Salvador Dali” which I think is ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT.

Imagine all the surreal costumes showing up.

The melting clocks.

The wonky eyeballs.

So, you may be wondering, what will I be wearing to this soiree?

I am wearing a red dress:

red-dresspaired with a very surreal lobster headband:

lobster-headbandI got my inspiration for Salvador Dali’s Lobster telephone which I find both playful and menacing – the perfect representation of surrealism.

lobster-telephoneOf course there is precedent for people putting lobsters on their heads:

lady-gagaEven good old Dali himself sported a crustacean on his own head.

salvador-daliSo there you have it.

My surreal Dali costume for the Anti Valentine’s Day party.

It’s gonna be F U N !

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Valentines Day cocktails (that won’t gross you out)

A long time ago in practically another lifetime, I dated a mixologist.

He was basically THE BOMB when it came to making cocktails.

And the nice thing about relationships, even when they end, is that you learn something new from each and every person you date.

Luke taught me about guns, knifes, and TYPE 1 DIABETES.

Steve taught me how to make REALLY GOOD BISCUITS from scratch.

Dave taught me something VERY NAUGHTY.

And Charlie taught me how to CLEAN AN ABALONE in under 30 seconds.

Well, I learned a little about cocktails from my ex boyfriend the mixologist.

Which is why, when Valentine’s Day rolls around, I roll my eyes when I see all the super sweet, saccharine flavored, dripping with artificial flavor cocktails that pop up online.

Ew, gross.

screen-shot-2017-01-13-at-12-15-12-pmI’d rather lick the bottom of a shoe in a BART Station bathroom than drink something pink and fruity.

So here are three cocktails that I tested and tried out which I think make FABULOUS Valentine’s Day cocktails.

The Bourbon Cherry Smash: It definitely doesn’t suck and make a nice grown up cocktail. Note: I use only ½ ounce of lemon simple syrup. I like it tart.  You can always make it sweeter but you can’t take it away once it’s there so proceed with caution.

vd1The Bourbon Black Forest Cocktail: Chocolate is tricky in cocktails. This one adds a hint of chocolate that blends nicely with the bourbon and cherry flavors. And I love the little float of cream on the top, but it’s tricky to master the technique. Practice with multiple cocktails.

vd2Rosemary 75 Cocktail: A twist on the good old French 75 – add a little pea flower extract (found on Amazon.com) to give the cocktail a hint of blue/purple color (without using blue curacao which can be cloyingly sweet). And the addition of the rosemary simple syrup only improves the herbal flavor of the French 75.

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